Now it’s Texas senior senator John Cornyn being batcrap crazy.

Texas Sen. John Cornyn (R) on Thursday warned his colleagues in the Senate that people who were “wearing some form of turban” were illegally immigrating into the United States by crossing the Southern border.

Turbans.  You know, like this:

Or maybe even like this?

Cornyn says that he had “anecdotal” evidence that we only catch one out of four people coming across the border illegally.  Senator Chuck Schumer corrects Cornyn’s “anecdotal” hysteria with GAO facts – showing about an 80% rate and improving.

I have yet to hear of a terrorist coming across the Mexican border.  However, there’s that dangerous Canadian border.   You don’t see Cornyn in hysteria over that.

Plus, those Canadians even let Ted Cruz in.  Talk about terrorism!

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

Okay, so now when I see a headline that says “House Republican Compares President Obama to Convicted Murderer Jodi Arias,” all I think is “Oh please, dear God, don’t let it be a Texas congressman.  Not this time.  Oh please.  Let him be from South Carolina.  Or Georgia.  We haven’t heard crazy crap from Georgia in a while.  It’s their turn.  But not Texas, Lord.  Please.”

Apparently, I have been paying the wrong preacher.  Because God is giggling at me.

It’s Steve Stockman.

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So now President Obama is a brutal murderer.

Look, Steve, I know the Benghazi hearings haven’t stunned a nation.  I recognize that the stock market is doing well and jobs are picking up.  I know this has got to be terribly disappointing to you.  But, really?

There were at least 12 embassy attacks under Bush and you don’t see me comparing him to O J Simpson.  Okay, maybe that once but I don’t think you saw that and it was just once.

Can we get the Texas Republican delegation off of Twitter for a day or two before they burn that sucker to the ground?

Thanks to Brian C for the head up.

I don’t think that Ted Cruz gets the whole meme thing.

They are supposed to be ironic or humorous.  And as we know, Republicans have to have a humorectomy prior to joining the party.  When Dennis Miller is the only comic in your party, you’re kinda screwed.

So, Ted tried to invent a meme to mock President Obama’s visit to Texas.

You can say a lot of things about that meme.  Funny ain’t one of them.

And, Ted, how many jobs have you created since you went to DeeCee?

People from foreign states don’t fully recognize the importance of high school football in small Texas towns.

I remember about 20 years ago when the Democratic National Committee sent some Yankee yahoo to my area of Texas to teach us how to win elections.  He planned the first big fundraiser on the same night as the high school homecoming game.  We tried to explain to him that homecoming involved parking lot barbeques, big ole honker corsages, booked hotel rooms, and enough enough noise to be heard a mile against the breeze.  Everybody in town shows up for homecoming.

“Awww…. it’s just a football game,” he argued and proceeded to have the fundraiser that night.  Two people showed up – one drunk and one lost.  I determined then and there to never give another dime to the DNC and I haven’t.

It appears that high school football in Texas has become so big that God has taken an interest and is picking sides.  Personally, I’m kinda disappointed that God waited so long to do this.  I mean, I’m not questioning God, but wouldn’t a better time to pick sides is when Christians were being fed to the lions?

Better late than never, I guess, because God is right here right now.  In Texas.

A judge ruled Wednesday that cheerleaders at a Southeast Texas high school can display banners emblazoned with Bible verses at football games.

State District Judge Steven Thomas determined the Kountze High School cheerleaders’ banners are constitutionally permissible. In the ruling, Thomas determined that no law “prohibits cheerleaders from using religious-themed banners at school sporting events.”

And by religious, the judge means Christian.  And not just any Christian either – just the Super DeLux Fancy Grade A ones.

The place they want to put religious messages is on something called a run-through banner.  At the beginning of the game, the cheerleaders hold up a giant banner and  team runs through it, destroying it viciously, on their way on the field.

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These are the same people who would pitch a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit if someone destroyed a flag, but violently tearing up Bible verses seems to have meaning for them I’d rather not psychologically explore because it would probably freak me out.

But just to be real clear about which God we are talking about, it ain’t one of them lesser gods —

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Now people have asked me why there’s not this craziness over basketball, baseball, or track.  Well, duh.  Those pansy sports do not involve getting to hurt another person.  God likes that hurting people stuff and we know God does because why else would a judge in Texas answer our prayers to invoke his name at football games.

See, this is not complicated.

Thanks to Hilary for the first heads up.

Texas junior senator Ted Cruz, who we refer to as Mr. Debate Club around here, just floored it in neutral again.

Conservative newcomer Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, on Tuesday missed the Judiciary Committee deadline for filing immigration bill amendments when he found himself answering Senate Majority Harry Reid, who called him a “schoolyard bully.”

“The Senator felt that it was important to go down [to the floor] and protect the minority’s rights” regarding the budget, a spokeswoman in Cruz’s office said.

Yep, Debate Club Ted was on the floor saying, “No, I am not a bully like Harry Reid said.  I’m just doing my job,” at the exact time he screwed up his job by not getting his amendments filed on time.  He missed the deadline while he was whining.

Cruz delivered his remarks at about 5 p.m., which happened to be the deadline for filing amendments to the immigration bill. The Judiciary Committee is set to mark up the bill Thursday.

Cruz’s office said they alerted Judiciary Chairman Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., that they would be filing late because of the circumstances. Leahy extended Cruz the courtesy of filing later.

The “circumstances” being that widdle Ted had to take to the floor to whine that Harry Reid was making fun of him, which was far more important that getting his legislation filed on time.

Ted’s widdle peelin’s get hurt when everybody doesn’t recognize his genius.

Don’t you know that Leahy was giggling at Cruz for the damn irony of the thing.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

On the heels of children using their little guns to shoot other children and a few adults this week, the NRA Youth Magazine “Insights”  (Get it?) has a cover showing their determination to help the upstart Guns for Toddlers industry.

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Indoor shooting’s fun, with BB guns.

No, I am not kidding.

Hell, it’s even more fun with a .22.

The article, while warning the kids that they need an adult’s permission and help to set up an indoor range, also makes it pretty clear that guns just aren’t much fun unless that can make something bleed.

Okay, at what age do we start encouraging children to play with real guns in the house?  I dunno these things.  I grew up civilized.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.