It’s hot in Texas.  When God made it that way, he was hoping to melt the fools but that didn’t work out too well.  However, last summer was so hot that it melted a few diamonds.

After a decade of Rick Perry and his money grubbing buddies, Texas has very little infrastructure.  After Hurricane Ike, my 86 year old Momma went without electricity for over two weeks.  Her house was fine – a few limbs down but that’s all.  But it took two weeks to get electricity to her. The power companies admitted their infrastructure was crap surrounded by poop with a load of crud on top.

Back in 1975, we were promised that we’d save enough money by supporting deregulation that we could buy a Cadillac for each day of the week.  And like the promised insurance savings that would come with tort reform, that didn’t happen.  We were lied to.

What we got instead was the promise of brown-outs during the height of Texas heat.  Our power grid sucks.

In a recent report, the North American Electric Reliability Corporation projected that the Texas grid will have the lowest percentage of power reserves this summer of any region of the country.

The Texas Public Utility Commission thinks they might have a solution – stick it to the public.

The Public Utility Commission of Texas, which oversees the grid, has also been working on ERCOT’s power problem. One of its main moves so far has been to increase the maximum amount of money that power companies can get from selling their power. The idea is to give the companies a stronger incentive to build more power plants, though consumer advocates say this amounts to a giveaway to the companies at ratepayers’ expense — without any guarantees that the companies will build more plants.

Oh yeah, they will build more plants because corporations care more about people than profits, right?

The PUC has three commissioners who run it.  They are all appointed by Rick Perry.  You know where this is going, right?  The same place it goes every damn time we raise electricity rates.  No more power to the people, that’s for sure.

Democrats should call them what they are:  Rick Perry Brownouts.

Louie Gohmert is on a mission.  He is using each and every news cycle to blame something on somebody.  He is running dangerously close to running out of Democrats to blame, so …

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) accused Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) on Wednesday of being complicit in the terror attacks on the U.S. diplomatic outpost in Benghazi, Libya last year and the deaths of four Americans, including the late Ambassador Chris Stevens.

Personally, I think he’s working his way through the phone book for people to blame.  Over at the Dairy Queen yesterday, I told Alfredo that I’m glad he’s coming before me, Juanita.

“Oh yeah, find comfort in the fact that you assume Louie knows the alphabet, do you?”  Alfredo snarked.

Texas Republican women are a species entirely into themselves.

I’m not saying b-i-m-b-o, but many of them are a quart low on estrogen and half a bubble off plumb.

Cathie Adams

Allow me to introduce Cathie Adams, former chairman of the Texas Republican Party, current President of the Eagle Forum and Chief Muslim Investigator for the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club.

Her newest suspected Muslim?  Grover Norquist.

No, seriously.

In a video posted by the Far North Dallas Tea Party on Thursday, Texas Eagle Forum President and former Chairman of the Texas Republican Party Cathie Adams presented evidence that Norquist was part of a “stealth jihad” in the United States.

Adams said that Norquist, who is married to a Muslim woman, was “trouble with a capital ‘T’” because “he’s showing signs of converting to Islam himself.”

“As you see, he has a beard,” she pointed out. “He’s married a Muslim woman. But he denies that he has converted himself. He denies that.”

He’s got a damn beard, people!  Open your eyes, smell the coffee and wake up, America!  He has a damn beard.

I do not know what proof you want.  Beard.  Muslim.  Duh.

Grover. Beard.

But, that’s not all.

“He and Karl Rove are very good friends. I don’t like Karl Rove, and I certainly don’t like Grover Norquist.”

Adams went on to suggest that CIA Director John Brennan could also be a secret Muslim.

“Where is the outcry?” she asked. “Thank God that Ted Cruz is now in the United States Senate!”

Yeah, where’s the outcry?  Ted Cruz does not have a beard.  Plus, he’s the Official Republican Party Commie Muslim Counter.  Ted Cruz can count them and call them by name.

I’m glad that Cathie made it clear that she doesn’t like Karl Rove but that he’s not a Muslim.  No beard, no Muslim.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

In a very Christian move, the First Baptist Church of Helena and the First Baptist Church of Pelham Aladamnbama have tossed the Boy Scouts to the streets.

Rev Mike Shaw

The Rev. Mike Shaw, pastor of First Baptist Church of Pelham and former president of the state’s largest denomination, the Alabama Baptist Convention, that the church will no longer be able to sponsor Troop 404 as of Jan. 1 when the new policy takes effect.

“We don’t hate anybody,” Shaw said. “We’re not doing it out of hatred. The teachings of the scripture are very clear on this. We’re doing it because it violates the clear teaching of scripture.”

And Jesus hung out with prostitutes because ….

Rev. Shaw, Jesus didn’t have anything to say about homosexuality but he had a mess of things to say about being judgmental.  I suspect that you’re gonna have some ‘splain’ to do at the Pearly Gates.

I’ll be the one over on the side waiting and giggling.

So, John Stossel, whose flighty superiority grinds on me like a rusty chainsaw, has announced that we don’t need any social programs because “no one died of starvation during the depression.”

And John knows that to be true because  … he wasn’t there, he didn’t starve, and Herbert Hoover’s chuckle was great entertainment.

No, seriously, I’m busy today so find this damfool and holler at him.

We didn’t keep birth and death statistics back then because children died in the dust bowl without a damn birth certificate.  Does he think the depression was the Golden Age of America?

Thank you for your helpful suggestion that we have bread lines again, John.

The Goofy Vacuum left by Michele Bachmann has a whole list of applicants and I’m proud to say that most of them are from Texas.

Steve Stockman, Louie Gohmert’s philosophical brother and fellow east Texan, has proclaimed that gun are from God.

No, seriously.  You know, like manna.

Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) warned on Thursday that the United Nations was seeking to violate what he described as the god-given right to have guns through its Arms Trade Treaty, which President Barack Obama has suggested he’ll sign next month.

“The right to keep and bear arms is granted by God and protecting [sic] from government aggression by the Constitution,” Stockman said in a statement. “It is not subject to the whims of global totalitarians massed in New York City.”

Damn.  Think how Moses feels.

You know, I’m not pretending to be any Biblical scholar or anything but it seems to me that if God had wanted us to have guns, he would have made them grow on trees or something.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.