Late last month, I told you the weird story of Ted Cruz returning a campaign contribution to a woman.  Okay, so that’s weird on its own – a politician returning a contribution.  But, the really weird part is that he never reported that he got a contribution from this woman, something that is required by law.  The resson he returned the contribution is that this woman was under investigation for over-contributing to Republican candidates.

Okay, okay, so Ted is a passing fad but, holy cow, you’d expect that a man who wants to take charge of the federal treasury would be a tad more careful with bookkeeping.

Oops.  He did it again.  This time he’s reporting that he’s returning Thomas Cushman’s contribution, another Republican mega-donor who is being accused of exceeding the contribution limit.  Only problem is – he never reported getting a contribution from Thomas Cushman.

Okay, so now you gotta wonder how many sets of books Cruz has.  Does he have one that goes to the FEC and another that he hides in a bottom drawer?  If he’s not in the habit of reporting everybody who gives him money, how do we know he’s not taking money from the Commies … or the Canadian Brotherhood?

And on another fun Republican note, the Facebook PAC made an illegal contribution to John Cornyn.  I guess they forgot to adjust their settings.  

Thanks to Alfredo for the heads up.

Meet a senate candidate with a great commercial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F9t70whEIA&feature=youtu.be

Okay, I am certain that Sarah Palin is going to say that this happened because she loves America and the Rooskies don’t.  And liberty freedom God Second Amendment more liberty founding fathers.

An editorial writer for Pravda started with this premise —

By attacking the democratically elected President of the United States of America at a sensitive time in her country’s history, she shows the tact of a boorish drunkard bawling obscenities at a funeral.

And continues with this —

If anything is a threat to the national security of the United States of America, it is this screaming, unrefined oaf with as much class as a searing release of flatulence followed by hysterical giggling at a state banquet. Is this what the people of the USA deserve?

He also calls her “a real-life version of Homer Simpson.”

Does anybody know if the New York Times has a job opening?

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz lost his mind yesterday and wrote on his Facebook page:

Nelson Mandela will live in history as an inspiration for defenders of liberty around the globe. He stood firm for decades on the principle that until all South Africans enjoyed equal liberties he would not leave prison himself, declaring in his autobiography, ‘Freedom is indivisible; the chains on any one of my people were the chains on all of them, the chains on all of my people were the chains on me.’ Because of his epic fight against injustice, an entire nation is now free.

We mourn his loss and offer our condolences to his family and the people of South Africa.

This is an honest to goodness true story.  I have a friend (that’s not the breaking news part) who is currently in Washington DeeCee  to see the White House at Christmas.  She is a perfectly lovely lady from a distinguished local family.

She called me yesterday afternoon all ranting.  Now I know for a fact this was a bucket list trip for her so I was wondering what the heck had happened.

She proceeded to tell me that the White House tour was completely over the top fabulous and then they were escorted to sit in the gallery of the United States congress.  This was a big moment in her life.  She had always wanted to do this.

“Guess who was speaking?” she yelled at me on the cell phone.

“I dunno.  I didn’t have C-Span on,” I replied.  “Maybe our congressman, Pete Olson?”

“Oh no, think even dumber than him,” she said.  “The minute we sat down, I told my husband that I have to call Susan!”

“Louie Gohmert,” I guessed.

“Ding!  Ding!  Ding! You win!”

She then asked me how stoopid one person can be without forgetting to breath and leaving the planet better off for it.

It seems that “Señor Stoopid Gohmert” was putting on an embarrassing show.  She tried to tell me about how he claimed to be a Christian and how everybody else deserved to be hated, but I figured she was just making that up because he had ruined her once in a lifetime moment.

Come to find out, she was not making that crap up.

Louie was making the argument that non-Christians and atheists should encourage people to worship God.

“So if you were completely areligious, completely atheistic, but you wanted to have a free country, and you wanted to have it safe and protected, then it would sound like — from historical purposes — that it might be a good thing to encourage those who believe in God to keep doing so,” Gohmert said. “Because when a nation’s leaders honor that God, that nation is protected. It’s only when it turns away that it falls.”

You know, like Christian Germany in WWII.

No, y’all, Louie really said that and my friend Pam heard it with her own two ears.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

And you thought Alabama men were wimpy.  Shame on you for that.

After partying all night at nightclubs, a 35 year old Alabama man, whose name has not been released much to his mother’s delight, was playing wild west with his handgun, spinning it around his finger to impress his friends.

And impressed they were when the gun, of damn course, went off and was agreeable enough to shoot the owner in the stomach and not anyone else.

But here’s the how-you-know-he-was-really-really-drunk part.

The gun went off and a bullet struck the man’s stomach, but didn’t exit through his back.

“The man told police he could feel the bullet under his skin so he took a knife and cut it out himself,” Captain Bobby Jackson with Gadsden PD said.

And to think there are people who go to school for 10 years to learn to be a trauma surgeon when all they had to do was get drunk.

Thanks to Marge for the heads up.