It’s Virginia Beach.

Police say the homeowner accidentally shot himself around 6 a.m. this morning.

Police say the homeowner thought someone was breaking into his home.

He went looking for who he thought was an intruder – when his gun accidentally went off.

He does know which way to point it, right?

Now crooks will feel perfectly safe breaking into his house.  Dude, you might as well have hung a sign on your door.

Thanks to tucsonbarbara for the heads up.

Des Moines, Iowa.  Two brothers, both in their 50’s, get into a fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  It quickly escalated into a serious situation.

The victim told police that his brother, Jerome Davis, “made three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ate them in the living room. Within the next hour, the suspect made another three of these peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, bringing his total consumption of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to six. This angered the victim…”

Now, my Momma taught me some important things.  The main one is that you should never pick a fight with someone who is in the kitchen.  There are weapons in the kitchen, not even counting the damage you could do with a MixMaster.

So Jerome, dangerous hyped up on six peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, decided he had just about enough of his brother making fun of his eating habits.  Words like “lazy” and “eating again” started getting tossed around.  Them’s fightin’ words.

Davis then pulled out a folding knife and held it to the face of his brother, threatening to cut him, according to the report.

When police arrived, they took two folding knives from Davis, who told police he had made the threats against his brother because he wouldn’t “shut the (expletive) up and mind his own business.”

And that’s how Jerome Davis ended up in the Polk County Jail charged with domestic violence.  I like to think his brother is at home finishing off the peanut butter.  No mention in the police report if it was smooth or crunchy.  I’m betting crunchy.

Thanks to Monty for the heads up.

If you thought for one minute that things might have calmed down in the GOP, you would be wrong.  There ain’t no Kumbaya in the Republican Congress.

Peter King of New York took on Rand Paul of Kentucky.  And it wasn’t pretty.

Appearing on Fox News Channel on Sunday, Rep. Peter King (R-NY) defended the National Security Agency from attacks on its intelligence gathering practices. He specifically said the charges made against the NSA by Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) are “lies” and that he “doesn’t deserve to be a U.S. Senator.”

Nice to see you catching up there with the rest of us, Peter.  Of course, Rand Paul could respond with “I’m rubber and you’re glue …” and I’d switch sides and agree with him.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

If you’re just getting up, please allow me to be the first to deliver some fabulous news.

Liz Cheney is ending her campaign for Senate in Wyoming, the Republican announced in a statement early Monday morning.

Citing health concerns in her family, Cheney said the issues arising prompted her to end her GOP primary challenge to Sen. Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.).

Yes, health concerns, you know, because her Dad has been the picture of health for the past two decades.

It’s more like the health of poll results.

Republicans — including some Cheney supporters — privately expressed surprise at Cheney’s move, though she is also said to have been discouraged by Enzi’s persistent polling lead and apparent determination to buck pressure to retire.

Ya think?

She should win some sort of award for the damn mess she left behind her.  What a spoiled brat.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

A picture is worth a thousand words.  (Click the picture to see it full size.)

Thanks to Dori for the heads up.

New York.  Apparently it’s not cold enough.

A man in a Mendon restaurant accidentally shot himself and the person he was eating with on Saturday.

The Monroe County Sheriff’s department said a man was eating at the Cottage Hotel of Mendon at the corner of Routes 64 and 251 when his gun went off accidentally.

He ended up shooting himself in the hand and ankle and also striking one of the people he was eating with in the ankle as well.

So far, no charges are being filed.

Oh come on, guys, there has to be some sort of penalty for stiffing the waiter on the tip.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.