She had 72,000 donors. Eighty percent was $50 or less.

Texas is now sending missionaries to other states to teach them how to violate campaign laws.  Sadly, sometimes the natives eat them.

Michael Grimm represents the Staten Island part of Brooklyn.  And yes, he’s a Republican.

A Texas woman who was a friend of and fund-raiser for Representative Michael G. Grimm has been charged with illegally funneling more than $10,000 into his 2010 campaign, according to court papers and people with knowledge of the case. The charges suggest that a two-year-old federal investigation into his fund-raising is still active.

The woman, Diana Durand, 47, of Houston, was arrested there on Friday by the F.B.I. on a criminal complaint filed in United States District Court in Brooklyn charging she used “straw donors” to mask more than $10,000 in illegal donations to Mr. Grimm. She had already donated $4,800, the legal limit.

So, if I lived in a foreign state and a fundraiser from Texas came to town, I’d ask to see their redneck passport.

Thanks to Dennis for the heads up.

Prepare yourself.

Jan 13 (Reuters) – Penis pumps cost the U.S. government’s Medicare program $172 million between 2006 and 2011, about twice as much as the consumer would have paid at the retail level, according to a government watchdog’s report released on Monday.

I don’t know about you but if they offered me the job of Penis Pump Government Watchdog, I would turn it down.

Your average telephone pole

Where does one go buy a retail penis pump?  I’m just asking for a friend.

And here’s something else you didn’t want to know.

The report by the inspector general for the Department of Health and Human Services said Medicare, the government health insurance system for seniors, paid nearly 474,000 claims for vacuum erection systems.

There are half a million old men walking around with penis pumps.

Thelma says she would be totally willing to walk around nursing homes in her skin tight leopard print faux leather pants and totally eliminate this need.  Being that Thelma wears a size 20 short, we’d need someone to clear a path first and that might cost just as much as a pump.  I dunno.  But, it might be worth putting pencil to paper.

Thanks to Carl of the tundra for the heads up.

Imagine being in Alaska.  Now imagine being in Alaska without internet.

It’s a New Year’s tradition to shoot off guns at midnight in the village at the confluence of the Tanana and Yukon rivers, about 150 miles west of Fairbanks. This year, however, the shooters evidently weren’t paying attention where they were pointing their guns when someone shot one of the main fiber-optic cable lines.

And the crowning glory.

“You can’t fix stupid,” is how Ralph Eller, owner of Yukon Telephone and Supervisions Cable TV, summed up the incident.

They have to wait for the supplies to fix the cable line, but they have plenty of ammo in stock.

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.

The Chris Christie party is over.

I don’t care what comes out next, it’s over.  I don’t care if he tears down the bridge and personally walks on the damn water, you can stick a fork in him because he’s done.

People will forgive a s-e-x escapade but they will not forgive traffic.  And I think that’s kinda smart.  If a candidate has s-e-x, that doesn’t bother me as long as I don’t have to think about it.  But traffic – that makes my life miserable.  You hurt me personally when you make me sit in traffic.

And then when he poured salt in the wounds by saying he was the victim here and not the people who sat in traffic, then Elvis has left the building.

And if he expects that his staff will lay down for him to stand on their bodies and weep tears of “you lied to me,” he’s an idiot.   One of them will reach up and throw his butt on the spit.

And that’s what I think.

You know, it seems to be that Ted Cruz is determined to piss off both political parties.  He calls us socialist communists terrorist bleached blondes.

And while he’s showing his butt to us, he’s thumbing his nose at the other party at the same damn time.

Paul Teller, who was fired in December as executive director of the RSC after leaking private conversations of members, will serve as deputy chief of staff for the Texas Republican firebrand, Cruz’s office said Monday morning.

In a statement Cruz said Teller’s “tireless work to advance conservative principles make him a tremendous addition to our team.”

So, a guy from the Republican House Study Committee who leaked information and got fired, got immediately hired by Ted Cruz.

And both of them are gloating.

First off, if he leaked at one place, he’ll leak in another.

Second off, he leaked to make himself feel important.  Can you even imagine how those two egos are going to fit into one office?  Whoa, that’s gonna be fun.

Third off, you know the story about the mother who saw her son in the marching band who was out of step and she remarked, “Look, everyone in the band is marching the wrong diction except for my son.”  That’s Ted Cruz’s Dad!

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.