You probably won’t be surprised to learn that Texas Governor Rick has joined the ranks of Sheldon Adelson’s 72 virgins.

Perry wants to be President.  Adelson wants to stop internet gambling so his casinos can grow.

A match made in heaven, I say!

Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, waging a new campaign to ban Internet gambling, is deploying a state-level political network he has been quietly developing over the past few years.

Florida’s Rick Scott has already been bought and paid for.

The same phrasing used in Scott’s letter had appeared word for word in letters signed a few weeks earlier by two other Republican governors, Nikki Haley of South Carolina and Rick Perry of Texas.

We already have convince store gambling in Texas with the lottery and you can even buy your scratch-off tickets out of vending machines, so Rick can’t be opposed to gambling.  Personally, I think that Rick has arrange a deal that every time a cowboy says, “Betcha I can lasso that calf,” Sheldon Adelson gets a dollar.

And when Sheldon asked Rick his name, Rick replied, “What do you want my name to be?”

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

The runoff between Dan Patrick and David Dewhurst for the GOP nomination for Lt. Governor just turned the corner in OhDearGodVille.

David Dewhust just released this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPzz60a7As8

The election is May 27th so we’ve got plenty of time for competing song-offs.

The You Tube appears to be in response to a debate the candidates had this morning in Dallas.

In the most contentious matchup yet in what has become an increasingly vicious Republican runoff for lieutenant governor, Dan Patrick and incumbent David Dewhurst hurled personal attacks against each in Dallas on Wednesday.

These boy are just skinning the pig so Leticia Van De Putte can barbecue it.

Sometimes people are so weird that it stands out.  In a day and age where it’s hard to tell satire from reality, Chris Sevier, a writ twit in Tennessee, glows in the weirdness darkness.

Last year, Chris sued Apple for not putting a porn blocker on his computer, which caused him to watch porn, and destroyed his marriage.  Chris contends that porn is addictive.  I did not know that.  I have scientific evidence that sex is addictive, but porn, I dunno.

This year, Chris moved to Florida where he has sued A&E for taking Phil Robertson off teevee.  He was also arrested for stalking country music star John Rich.

Now he has filed …

…a motion to intervene on the Florida gay marriage case on behalf of “other minority sexual orientation groups.” In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.” Which is? “My porn filled Apple computer,” according to Sevier’s filing.

His computer is more sexually attractive to him than women.

Speaking for women everywhere, “Thank you, God.”

Thanks to John for the heads up.

Bless Rick Perry’s heart.

A recent interview and a planned political trip to the nation’s first caucus state might be construed as signs Texas Gov. Rick Perry is tipping his hand on a second presidential run.

During a May 4 interview on NBC’s Meet the Press, Perry confessed to botching his first run at the White House, but then said, “I think America is a place that believes in second chances.”

Uh, you might ask Dan Quayle, Anthony Wiener, and Newt Gingrich about that.

There ain’t no comeback from dumb.

I suspect y’all don’t know about this.  I certainly didn’t.  But it appears that God has formed a political action committee.

To be honest, I thought God had done this before but used a pseudonym.  Apparently not.  Nope, God uses his own name.  Click the form to see it normally.

God Jesus Elect Howard Worthy State Senator is going to look so cool on his disclaimer at the bottom of his campaign materials.

I guess I’m pretty glad that God is officially in the campaign business now.  At least we have a shot at getting Him to say that He does not support Ted Cruz.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

So Louie Gohmert is in Iowa.

Speaking at a rally in Iowa for Republican Senate candidate Sam Clovis on Friday, Gohmert recalled that he had initially been blamed after Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) had shouted “You lie!” during President Barack Obama’s State of the Union Address in 2009.

“Somebody yells ‘You lie!’ and the camera goes on me!” he told the crowd, adding that he “knew” the president wasn’t telling the truth about an immigration bill.

Louie, Honey, any time somebody does something crazy, everybody looks at you.  It’s just our knee-jerk reaction.

And it’s because of crapola like this.  While speaking to the crowd, you said about the Constitution of the United Damn States of America, “It only is fit for people who cling to their God and their guns, you know?”

No, I don’t know that.

I swear by all that is holy that I do not know that.

I never even got drunk and believed that.

Hell, Louie, you’re the craziest damfool on earth.  Own it.  Be proud of it.