Okay, so I know you’ve been wondering what kind of people elect Louie Gohmert.

This kind.

LUFKIN, Texas (AP) — A domestic disturbance call at an East Texas home includes a police report that a woman used a dead catfish to smack her sister-in-law in the face.

Officers were summoned after a woman allegedly used a fish to slap her sister-in-law in the face, the brother and sister argued and he asked his sibling to leave. Shurley says the sister called police to report being assaulted.

And she did not even know the catfish was loaded?  She was cleaning her catfish and it went off accidentally?

I know one of my rules of life is don’t hack-off a woman holding a catfish.

Open Carry Catfish

Oh, NRA, bless your heart, you are such sissies.

First you call the wacky long gun toters in Texas “weird,” then you say that by weird you mean “patriot.”

Speaketh the NRA —

Now, the truth is, an alert went out that referred to this type of behavior as weird, or somehow not normal. And that was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened. I’ve had a discussion with the staffer who wrote that piece, and expressed his personal opinion. Our job is not to criticize the lawful behavior of fellow gun owners.”

See, here’s the deal.  Homosexuality is weird.  Women wanting control of their own bodies is weird.  Health care for unemployed infants is weird.  Misfit-looking men walking around with automatic weapons is perfectly normal.

Honey, to tell you the truth, I have an electric egg beater that doesn’t spin that fast.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up!

The Steeple People put up a billboard in Alabama to display their work with children.

That’s cool.  Everybody ought to love children.

Even Hitler.

Yep.  Hitler said that alright.  But I don’t think he meant it in the good way.  Wait, there’s a Bible quote under there that seems to indicate that Hitler was right.  Whoa, cowpokes, what’s the message here?

The 1935 quote was said in reference to the Hitler Youth program, which indoctrinated children in preparation for joining the Nazi Party.

Life Savers Ministries founder James Anderegg told the Ledger-Enquirer that it had been a mistake to use the Hitler quote, and that the billboard would be taken down on Tuesday.

Mistake?  Ya think?

Here’s their website.  No mention of Hitler there.  Thank goodness.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I would like to give a standing ovation to Stonekettle Station for the Holy Grail of Hissy Fits.

Thanks to Fenway Fran for the heads up.

There’s a saying in Texas, “Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.”

Stay away from Herman Cain.

 The pizza magnate, who at one point topped all Republican challengers during the 2012 Republican presidential primary before dropping out amidst allegations of multiple affairs, suggested on Saturday that he would return to the campaign trail in 2016 if called upon God to do so.

It kinda makes you wonder about this God who tells all these people to run for President and then jerks the rug out from under them while howling with laughter. I’d only fall for that God trick once. Being left up the creek in a wire boat ain’t exactly my idea of a good and loving God.

I mean, I’m all for the clown car leaving the garage again, and it might be even more fun with Cain driving this time, but how much fun can a girl stand?

You know you’ve crossed the wacko line when the NRA calls you a gun nut. The Texas Open Carry Troopers got kneecapped by the NRA.

Recently, demonstrators have been showing up in various public places, including coffee shops and fast food restaurants, openly toting a variety of tactical long guns. Unlicensed open carry of handguns is legal in about half the U.S. states, and it is relatively common and uncontroversial in some places.

Let’s not mince words, not only is it rare, it’s downright weird and certainly not a practical way to go normally about your business while being prepared to defend yourself. To those who are not acquainted with the dubious practice of using public displays of firearms as a means to draw attention to oneself or one’s cause, it can be downright scary.

No shoot, Sherlock.  Literally, no shoot. However, the NRA cannot simply wipe their hands of this one.  The Texas Idiots are just a natural outgrow of the NRA rhetoric and an expected progression of NRA ideas.

You broke it, NRA; you bought it.  You rile up people who are so dumb that they couldn’t roll a ball down a steep hill and then you want them to slow down?   Honey, it would be easier to eat a coil of barb wire.