Sarah Palin is hearing voices again.  She’s just passing along a message …

God wants Obama to be impeached and God “does not drive parked cars.”  Y’all, seriously, I do not know where the whole “God does not drive parked cars” came from.  It’s pretty much my observation that God drives whatever God wants to, whenever God wants, to wherever God wants.

When you listen to this, help me out.  These new speech patterns she has, you know, with the very odd rhythm of unconnected phrases and random emphasis … is that a thing?

Yeah, I think it’s a thing.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I think Rick Perry is preparing for Armageddon because he’s assembling his army.  News from the Texas Rio Grande Valley.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry plans to announce he will activate the Texas National Guard at a news conference Monday in Austin, said state Sen. Juan “Chuy” Hinojosa, D-McAllen.

Hinojosa did not have details of the effort, but an internal memo from another state official’s office said the governor planned to call about 1,000 Texas National Guard troops to the Rio Grande Valley — at a cost of about $12 million per month.

Yeah, he’s storming the beaches of the Rio Grande River with a military force he commands.  Since he’s using bullets against unarmed children, I suspect he’ll borrow Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” sign right before the Ohio primary.

There has already been a special surge of Department of Public Safety guards on the border, costing Texans $1.3 million per week.

And where is all the money coming from?  Rick has that all figured out.  Here ya go with a screen shot from my iPad last night.

Yeah, we don’t need no damn health care in Texas.  Roads?  Bridges?  Screw that.  Only wimps need roads and bridges.

I honestly fear for my Hispanic friends in the Valley, many of them with families who have been in Texas far longer than Rick Perry’s.

My conspiratorial friends think Rick is building an army for secession.  I don’t think so.  I think he just needs an excuse to ride boats up and down the river looking like George Patton or some damn thing.

Please give us Texas back.  I really, really don’t like being Ukraine.

Have you seen this?

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.

Tampa Bay.

A deputy’s gun fired accidentally in a restroom at Tampa Bay Downs Friday, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said.

The deputy was working an off-duty job at Tampa Bay Downs Friday around 3:30 p.m. Authorities said he went into the restroom and his gun went off after he removed his gun belt to set it down. No one else was in the restroom at the time, and no one was injured, officials said.

However, three urinals and the soap machine confessed to major crimes.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

I think this is my favorite poll ever simply because it proves that the dumber you are, the more likely you want to go to war.  It’s called “The Republican Redneck and Proud” theorem.

So researchers at Dartmouth, Princeton, and Harvard asked Americans to locate Ukraine on a world map.  One in six got it right.  But, here’s the catchy part.  The further off they were to it’s location on a map, the more likely they were to want to invade it.

Two people thought it was in Memphis.  I can understand that.  I’ve been that drunk in Memphis before.  Iceland?  Seriously?

… the further our respondents thought that Ukraine was from its actual location, the more they wanted the U.S. to intervene militarily. Even controlling for a series of demographic characteristics and participants’ general foreign policy attitudes, we found that the less accurate our participants were, the more they wanted the U.S. to use force …

That’s kinda the way it always is, ain’t it?

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

From the Dallas Morning News.

Protesters lined both sides of Elm Street on Friday, in dueling downtown demonstrations over plans to house unaccompanied Central American children in Dallas County.

At their peak, the crowds together swelled to about 100 people. The two groups gathered to voice support for, and opposition to, a plan to establish temporary shelters in the county for thousands of children now being detained at the border.

Here is the Christian side of the argument.

How loving and reasonable.