That Scott Brown is a real comedian!

Wanna vote for Scott Brown but you don’t live in New Hampshire?

No problemo.  Scott had an answer for you when he did a radio call-in show.

It’s not odd enough that the former Massachusetts senator moved to New Hampshire only last year to run against Senator Jeanne Shaheen.  No sireee, Brown pointed out that since New Hampshire has same day registration ….

Brown: “Well they can come over and do same-day registration and say they want to come down and vote. So if they feel compelled to do so, come on down.”

His campaign later said that he was just joking.

Picture for a moment, President Obama making a joke like that.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Rolling stinkin’ hellfire on tumbleweed, Daddy Rafael Cruz is schoolin’ the black folks on how to be good Republicans.

I have not heard talk like this unless it was coming from under a white hood.

The Western Williamson Republican Club had a meeting encouraging people to come hear Raphel Cruz speak about American exceptionalism.

The father of Republican Texas Sen. Ted Cruz said black people “need to be educated” about Democrats, so that they will vote Republican. Cruz, who made the comments at the Western Williamson Republican Club August meeting, added “the average black does not” understand that the minimum wage is bad. […]

Dude, the average black understands slavery.  The average black knows that without a minimum wage, you’d pay your workers a quarter an hour.  Yeah, Cruz, the minimum wage is bad because it’s too little pay for a fair day’s work.

He then recounts a conversation he had with a black minister in California, who remained nameless because this conversation never happened, about how uneducated blacks are.

“I said, as a matter of fact, ‘Did you know that civil rights legislation was passed by Republicans? It was passed by a Republican Senate under the threat of a filibuster by the Democrats,’” Cruz told the audience. “[He said] ‘Oh, I didn’t know that.’ And then I said, ‘Did you know that every member of the Ku Klux Klan were Democrats from the South?’ ‘Oh I didn’t know that.’ You know, they need to be educated.”

Okay, so here’s this dude who sided with Castro while in Cuba, bribed a government official to be allowed to leave Cuba, left his wife and two small children, went to Canada and became a Canadian citizen, left the Catholic church, remarried, became an evangelical Christian and then became an American citizen in 2005.  Why would I not trust this guy? I mean, he has such a stable background with a consistent ethic.

These two are so damn arrogant that if you stuck a pin in them they’d fly around the room backwards for days making bathroom sounds.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I suspect you guys know about Congressman Blake Farenthold from Texas.  He’s on Bill Maher’s Flip a District Final Four.  He’s pathetically grotesque.  And that’s his good side.

He got elected accidentally and then got Republican redistricted to keep him elected.

You might remember his great Ducky Pajamas picture.

Yeah, that’s Congressman Blake Farenthold on the far right.  The far, far right.

His highly qualified Democratic opponent Lt. Col. Wesley Reed (and ladies, he’s mighty easy on the eyes) has earned his uniform the hard way – through serving his damn country.  He’s a Marine pilot and is now serving in the reserves. He’s a pilot for Fed Ex and he’s head of the airline pilots association.  He’s the real deal.

And Blake Farenthold is not.

Here is Blake in his latest Adventures in Pretending.

Yeah, the chubby pastey white dude posing with UPS, all dressed up like he’s been able to bend over and pick anything up in the past twenty years.  If this guy comes to your door, do not one it.  He’s only pretending to work for a living.

Those who have an extra three dollars can prance on over and give Wesley Reed some love.  I give him a monthly donation and it’s because I believe in him, not just that he’s easy on the eyes, although that certainly doesn’t hurt.

The Dallas Morning News had an interesting catch.

When Rick Perry spoke the the Koch Brothers’ Americans for Prosperity in Dallas last week, a photographer noticed that he had written something on his hand.

UBER.

I dunno.  Maybe he needed a cheaper cab?  Maybe it’s a mnemonic because God help him if he needs to remember 4 things?  Maybe he’s doodling?  Maybe he’s send hand signals?  Maybe somebody told him that the Kochs speak German behind closed doors?

Thanks to Monty for the heads up.

Seattle.

A tuxedoed Seattle man was arrested early yesterday after he fired a gun at a couple who accidentally interrupted him while he was being pleasured by a woman in an alcove in the city’s nightlife district, cops report.

Dude, she’s a hooker.  You do not have to impress her with a tux.

Seriously, the Lady of Light Virtue ran away when spotted, perhaps from embarrassment or perhaps the knowledge that she’s been paid up front, and the customer had himself a walleye snot nosed hissy gun fit.  His name is Paul Hunter.  Yeah, Hunter.

Hunter, police report, “got angry and started walking away northbound.” But after about half-a-block, he “turned around, pointed his gun at them” and fired a shot at the couple. “I’m going to kill you,” Hunter said, according to the victims.

Luckily, he missed.

At the end of the night, the Brazen Hussy was the only one laughing.

Howard Kurtz is one of everybody’s favorite people to mock.  Wanna know why?  ‘Cuz it drives him nuts.

Howie is a Fox News media critic (crazy, right?) who can dish it out but he can’t take it.

After Colbert teased him over Howie’s preoccupation with Hillary Cinton’s age, Howie puffed himself up about the size of Del Rio and blurted …

“It’s about time someone took on Stephen Colbert,” wrote Kurtz. “This guy—a fake anchor if ever there was one—has been maligning hard-working journalists for too long. Journalists like me.”

Stephen Colbert?  Fake anchor?  Damn, when did that happen and why wasn’t I notified?  After all, I am a hard-working professional journalist myself.  I should be on their listserve.  I should know these things.  Damn, I am important.  I deserve unquestioning respect.

And in a moment of spitfire rocket-fueled hypocrisy, Howie says that Colbert has “a protective cloak as a pompous blowhard.”  And good golly if anyone would know about that ….