One of the never ending supply of bleached blonde experts on Fox News made an interesting observation about the terrorist attack in Paris.

They had a panel discussion about the fact that President Obama is not running around with a six shooter, a bullhorn, and his hair on fire over this act of terrorism and they even claim that he won’t call it terrorism.  They say that because … they cannot freekin’ read or listen.

I strongly condemn the horrific shooting at the offices of Charlie Hebdo magazine in Paris that has reportedly killed 12 people. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims of this terrorist attack and the people of France at this difficult time.

Yeah, that’s the President talking.

So, anyway, as you would suspect, their solution to terrorism is that every American should be armed.  Because, you know, the average receptionist at a business could take out 12 terrorists with her handgun with no problems at all.

But, it does not end there.  Another blonde, no kidding, said the real problem were the masks. Shannon Bream, who is their Supreme Court specialist, cooed out this —

BREAM: That’s my question about these guys. If we know they were speaking unaccented French and they had ski masks on, do we even know what color they were, what the tone of their skin was? I mean, what if they didn’t look like typical bad guys? As we define them when we think about terror groups.

Yes, terrorist can be identified by the tone of their skin.

And so can Fox idiots?

It’s perfectly obvious.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

Most of you know that I have a dog named Truman.  He’s 15 pounds of fierce and fabulous.

I love Truman dearly but I have decided that he cannot exercise his Second Amendment Rights.  Yeah, he’s upset about it and yabbers about his cold dead paws and stuff, but damn.

Click right about here to see why.

From Wyoming to Florida, dog posses with vicious intent are shooting their owners.  And you gotta admit that’s not an easy accomplishment considering that most dogs don’t have opposable thumbs.  However, those that do are real sumbitches.

One of them even used a 12-gauge shotgun to shoot his owner in the butt.

And there’s this guy who, bless his heart, doesn’t know how to unload his rifle so his dog shot him.

As luck would have it, Truman does not have thumbs, which kinda explains why he’s really bad at loading the dishwasher, but he can change the teevee channel with the remote using only feet so I’m not taking any chances.

Thanks to Kevin for the heads up.

Okay, so the one thing wrong with Texas is not enough guns in the hands of enough nuts, right?

I mean, we’ve got almost enough guns and more than enough nuts, but the getting them together part is problematic.

Solution:

Come and Take It Texas is planning to use a manufacturing device to create firearms during its rally at the Capitol on Tuesday, when lawmakers’ 2015 session begins.

Their goal is to scrap the licensing requirement for handguns.  They believe that ‘shall not be infringed’ mean anyone can carry any kind of gun in any manner they want to.

There’s even a $25 model!

YeeHaw, Y’all!

Fracking is perfectly safe.  We’re all going to hell anyway so what’s a little fracking to speed along the process.

Ten earthquakes, three of them greater than a 3.0 in magnitude, rocked the DFW area on Tuesday afternoon and into early Wednesday, knocking items off of walls, causing cracks to appear in ceilings and generally rattling nerves across the region.

What’s unusual about this?  North Texas has not had earthquakes like this since the 1970’s.

#2 Unusual:  Fracking is happening there.

But, fracking companies assure us, is not why Dallas  is having earthquakes.

Geophysicists said that this many earthquakes indicates stress in the Earth’s crust that needs to be relieved.

Yep, that’s all.  Ten times a day.

Okay, I don’t get this.

Ted Cruz, who views himself as some sort of John the Baptist heralding the second coming of Sweet Jesus, is the headliner at Passover.

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, a likely Republican presidential candidate and a vocal pro-Israel hawk, is being advertised as a featured attraction at a string of ritzy resort vacation getaways catering to religious Jews.

The events are planned by The Prime Experience.

The one at the St. Regis Monarch Beach offers “some of the greatest rabbis and scholars of our time including Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Rabbi Eli Mansour, Rabbi Marvin Hier, Rabbi Abraham Cooper and Senator Ted Cruz.”

Darlin’, that looks like one of those “Which One Doesn’t Belong” questions.

Ya think those rabbis know why Ted Cruz wants a strong Israel?

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Ms. Lindsey “Beauregard” Graham presented Joni Ernst with a welcoming gift to the United States Senate.

It’s a plaque for her office.

It says “Make ‘Em Squeal, Joni.”

(You might want to close your eyes at this point.)

Yeah.  Lindsey Graham gave a woman a castration device.

Yeah.  That happened.

Graham told ABC News that Ernst’s campaign ad “stuck with me,” prompting him to give Ernst the sign that reads, “Make ’em squeal, Joni.”

“That commercial was probably the most effective commercial in the last 20 years and this phrase I think is what that election is all about,” he said.

Personally, I think Lindsey wants to be first in line for the squealing part.

Thanks to Julie for the heads up.