Mack Breed, an assistant football coach at John Jay High School in San Antonio, did not like the officiating at one of the school’s games.

So he asked two players on the team to assault the ref right there on the football field.  They did.  The video is here.

So, as you could suspect, there is overwhelming colossal mild upsetness over this ref whipping event.

Former John Jay High School assistant coach Mack Breed pleaded guilty Monday to misdemeanor assault charges stemming from accusations that he instructed his players to tackle a referee during a game in September, ESPN reports.

Breed was sentenced to one year in jail with a $3,500 fine, but instead will be placed on probation for 18 months as defined in the terms of a plea deal.

Honey, I know people who littered and got a stiffer punishment than that.  That’s because you can mess with Texas but you cannot mess with Texas High School Football.

You know, there are certain people I would be willing to pay a $3,500 fine and 18 months probation to hit.  I would not, however, ask someone else to do it for me. Nor would I blindside anybody.

I want to tell you a story about my friend and one of the best politicians I ever knew, County Commissioner Ben Denham.  This was about twenty-five  years ago and Ben has since gone on to that great campaign in the sky.

Ben had a constituent by the name of Buck who was unhappy with him.  Buck continually came to Ben’s office and cussed out Ben’s secretary if Ben wasn’t there to cuss at.  Ben’s secretary was a prim and proper Sunday School teacher by the name of Miss Mattie.  Miss Mattie did not take kindly to cussin’.

One day Ben had enough and just happened to be there when Buck shows up and starts cussin’ Ben right there in front of Miss Mattie.  Ben told him to watch his mouth in front of Miss Mattie.  Miss Maddie also told him for the umpteenth to watch his mouth.

He refused to watch his mouth.  Holy cow, it just made him madder and he called Ben names that aren’t even in the dirty part of the dictionary.  It would have singed the ears off a sow.

Once more, Ben asked Buck to stop cussin’ in front of Miss Mattie.

Nope.  As Ben says, “I just did not know the magic words to make this guy stop.”

Ben told Buck, “This is the last time I’m gonna tell you this. You can talk all you want to but you cannot cuss with Miss Mattie sitting here.”

Buck replied, “Who’s gonna stop me?”

Ben hauled off and smacked that man right in the nose. Knocked him to the ground with Miss Mattie running around squealing, “Oh my, oh my. What have you done, Commissioner?”

Ben called the police, turned himself in, and then marched over the Justice of the Peace, his friend Ike, and paid the $200 fine for simple assault.  All in about 2 hours.

A lot of people who know Buck, me included, called Ben and offered to pay his fine for him.  He told me, “I did the crime.  I’ll pay the fine.”

Until his dying day, Ben told people that was the best $200 he ever spent.

I just thought you’d like that story.

Republican millionaires have a damn tough life.

It’s getting harder and harder for them to buy an election.  This year they have ended up spending millions of dollars against each other, much to my delight, and then they have to compete against Donald Trump’s free media.

If Donald Trump was trying to spoil the effect of SuperPAC money, he’s doing a damn good job of it.

“Paid ads can’t overwhelm earned media. It never could,” said one official with a super-PAC backing a Republican presidential candidate who wasn’t authorized to speak on the record. “All of that stuff is a much louder microphone than anything we have, but in a very real sense the campaign is just starting now.”

And there’s this to consider …

Trump’s dominance in free media has made the paid attacks against him almost meaningless. His rivals watched as a $1 million-blitz against him from Club for Growth did little-to-no damage.

So, if you were a millionaire trying to buy an election, you’ve got more problems than granny with one hoe and fifteen snakes.

You didn’t think about that, did ya?  Thank God for sparing you that heartbreak of wealth.

If ya ever want to know what Jesus would do in a situation, here’s the last place to look.

Vandals spray-painted graffiti at two mosques in the Southern California city of Hawthorne and left a device that looked like a hand grenade in the driveway of one of the mosques on Sunday, prompting police to investigate both incidents as a hate crime.

Police received another call that the phrase “Jesus is the way” was spray-painted in front of the Islamic Center of Hawthorne.

Obviously there’s something missing.  Jesus is the way … where?

Looks like the Prince of Peace got punked by his followers.

It has come to my attention that the taxpayers of the State of Texas are going to chuck out $2.7 million dollars to … hold your breath … bring WrestleMania to Arlington, Texas.

Gov. Greg Abbott has agreed to spend up to $2.7 million in taxpayer funds to bring the barrage of blood, sweat and spandex that is WrestleMania to Texas next year.

During his 2014 campaign for governor, Abbott expressed discomfort with such taxpayer-funded economic incentives, saying he wanted to get government “out of the business of picking winners and losers.”

But last week, his office signed off on the award from the state’s Events Trust Fund, state records show, one of 20 such awards approved since September.

WrestleMania organizers are whining that’s not enough money for them.  I sympathize.  I feel the same way about Arlington.

Somebody check my math on this but they say they are expecting a record 90,000 people to attend, so that’s $30 a person of taxpayer money we’re paying to watch a bunch of narcissistic guys grease themselves up and wrestle each other.

Hell, I can watch the Republican debate tomorrow night for free.

Thanks to Linda for the heads up.

Donald Trump expressed outrage, outrage I tell you, that he could not properly was his hair in South Carolina.

Asked about the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) “Waters of the United States” rule at a campaign event in Aiken, S.C., on Saturday, Trump said it significantly impairs his ability to rinse, lather and repeat.

“I’ll give you one regulation,” Trump said. “So I build, and I build a lot of stuff. And I go into areas where they have tremendous water. … And you have sinks where the water doesn’t come out.

“You have showers where I can’t wash my hair properly,” he added. “It’s a disaster.

“It’s true. They have restrictors put in. The problem is you stay under the shower for five times as long.”

Uh, I think maybe your complaint should be with The Hilton, not South Carolina.

By the way, while I was looking into this, I discovered that the motto of South Carolina is “Dum spiro spero,” which loosely translated means, “Remember that vice president, Spiro Agnew?  He was dum.”  Look, any state where the first word of their motto is Dum is just asking for trouble.

Look, his whole complaint just stunned me.  Seriously.  Trump washes his hair?

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Ted Cruz just loves me.  He does.

In fact, he loves me so much that he is paying some kinky people to mine information about me from my Facebook page.

A little-known data company, now embedded within Cruz’s campaign and indirectly financed by his primary billionaire benefactor, paid researchers at Cambridge University to gather detailed psychological profiles about the US electorate using a massive pool of mainly unwitting US Facebook users built with an online survey.

I can promise you that he wasted a lot of money to hiring  psychologists to figure me out.  I’m crazy.  I cultivate it.

Seriously, I had someone tell me that a local district court judge was “scared of” me.  “He says you can never predict what she’ll next.”  Honey, it took me a long time to cultivate that reputation and I flat love it, especially when I surprise myself.  I kinda suspect I’m not alone.  I kinda suspect that almost everybody here is a little crazy.  I mean, the reason were all here is because we ain’t all there.

Okay, but back to Cruz.  So, as president, he’s not going to be big on privacy or freedom, but he’ll be able to tell you your favorite dinner and how you hate, just hate, Sally Smith.

I betcha he’s having fun with trolls.  I’d love to see a psychological profile on anonymous trolls.  Those guys have taken crazy to an art form.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.