Apparently, Hang-’em-High Cornyn is not happy that his phone and email system crashed this week from thousands of concerned Texans who were terrified that he was supporting the most ill-prepared and ignorant candidate for Secretary of Edumucation in the History of Edumucation.  You see, he publicly came out in support of Betsy DeVos, Super Special Deluxe High Grade Christian and Private Church School Crusader after she gave the most disastrous testimony in the History of Senate Hearings during her Senate hearing.  She lacks even the most basic grasp of education policy, and has no clue about the behemoth that she has just inherited which is a more than full time job for even the most experienced education experts (Arnie Duncan), much less for a dumbass like her (sorry Momma).  Lil’ Betsy believes you should just “pray on it” and all will be good.  She’s going to be drinking from a firehose just right quick, like her boss, Cheeto Jesus, who just got his ass handed to him by the 9th Circuit over his wonderfully planned and articulated unconstitutional Muslim ban which is going so well.

Cornyn was most offended that constituents from Texas voiced their loud and vehement opposition to DeVos, calling it “sour grapes” and that they were angry that CJ won.  Well, he’s right on that one.  We are angry that the worst presidential candidate in US history is now polluting the White House.  But, no, the reason we were all calling Cornyn the Deaf was that we were waving our arms and screaming at him as he gleefully jumped on the crazy train over the cliff that destroys public education.

The US government is unrecognizable to me, and my elected officials are simply the worst I have ever witnessed in my 6th decade life.

Jesus.  No.  Literally, Jesus.

Rick Wiles, one of those RWNJ radio hosts, recently said that President Obama is orchestrating, and George Soros is funding, the nationwide protests that have been occurring since Dat Guy was inaugurated as the 45th, uh…urp, president of the US.  Wiles is one of those Alex Jones style super-delux-off-the-rails-nuts conspiracy theorists that have really gained traction with the nice super-Christian-white-hooded crowd.  In his ranting, Wiles said

“My gut feeling says Barack Obama is on the phone day and night and he is directing the protests, he is organizing, he is giving clear instructions to the people what to do and how to carry it out.”

and that,

“You wanna get God worked up? You know what sedition reminds Him of?” Wiles asked. “Lucifer. It all goes back to Lucifer because what Lucifer did in heaven was commit sedition … So all acts of sedition are inspired by Lucifer.”

I’m super confused.  Obama is leading sedition with Lucifer’s help?  I thought he has been kite surfing with Richard Branson:

A Jewish family in Lancaster Pennsylvania has fled their home after Breitbart falsely accused them for the cancellation of a performance of a Christmas Carol at the local school.  School officials stated that the play was cancelled for scheduling reasons as it took 20 hours to rehearse during school hours.  Coincidently, the Jewish family had asked for their child to be excused from participating in the play several months ago.  After the cancellation, the family was blamed and the child was being harassed at school.  When Breitbart, in true form, published a story fabricating the reason was the Jewish family, you can imagine the result, so the family fled their home town.  Welcome to the world of Cheeto Jesus and his “news” arm, Breitbart.

¡Buenos días!

I am happy to join Juanita Jean and her other Pals to Participate in Professional Political Punditry to Perpetrate Perpetual Prickly Publishing.  Having just joined, I thought I would use a few lines to introduce myself to you.  After a long career of pulling wrenches, brewing beer, baking bread, and cleaning windows, I started my punditry avocation about 10 years ago by ranting and raving on the internets about the sorry state of politics in the good ol’ US of A, and especially in Texas.  I started my ranting after the 2004 elections, raved through the 2008 cycle, which was bruising, and then continued, though not as publicly, to talk about holding politicians accountable to their obligations to the people as elected officials.  I have been dismayed at the failure of party politics, that apparently only exist (with a few notable exceptions) to benefit those in office.

Today, I live just up the road from the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon and visit often, ranting and raving at Juanita Jean (especially since last Tuesday). After patiently listening to my hair-on-fire raging, recently Juanita finally said, “Don’t just tell it to me, tell it to everybody else.”  I thought, OK; so here we are.  In the coming days/weeks/whenever Juanita kicks me out, I’ll be sharing my thoughts as an independent thinker/screamer.  I’ll be talking about social justice, the fossilization of political parties, gerrymandering, the media, healthcare policy, education, energy policy, head in the sand environmental and climate change policy, the cancer of money in politics, and any other damn thing that pops into my head.  Thank you, Juanita Jean, for letting me talk to (yell at) your loyal customers.

To get us going, I’ve posted below a little about me personally.  See you shortly when I pull out the flamethrower.

EL JEFE El Jefe met Juanita Jean some years ago when he opened El Jefe’s Beer, Bread, and Pickle Emporium just up the road from the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon. He savors anything made with his home grown yeast, but especially those things that go well with his South Texas Pucker Up & Slap Yo’ Knee Bread n’ Butter pickles, made especial for the Holidays and coming soon to an HEB near you.

A native Texan, El Jefe is proud to be the great-great grandson of Napoleon Bonaparte Fisher who joined the Texas Rangers in 1860. He was born in North Texas to a jen-u-wine Bible-thumping praise and glory preacher and to the daughter of a jen-u-wine Bible-thumping praise and glory preacher, receiving more Bible & ear lobe thumping before he was 6 than most are privileged to get in a lifetime. Because of his pure and crystal-clear upraising, he now practices his own spiritual tradition of worshiping every Sunday at Our Lady of the Perpetual Bloody Mary & New York Times. He was elected Deacon of the parish many years ago.

El Jefe rants regularly on social media, and is an equal opportunity insulter of all proclivities. He’s sure he’ll insult you, too, and likes to proclaim that he’s old enough to not care about what you think of him or his hand crafted pointy toed roach killer boots made way-the-hell-out-there in Fredericksburg just for him.

So there.

o

Posted on the door of the beauty salon this morning —

“Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You’re thinking of Jesus.” — John Fugelsang

Nice.

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Brian just gave me the best news of the day.

You know the crazy maniac who shouted “Baby Killer!” at Bart Stupak?

Abilene’s own Randy Neugebauer, of The Yachting Neugebauers Fame.

Dandy Randy used campaign funds to buy himself a yacht, which is kinda odd being as how Abilene  is in the middle of the desert.  I doubt he was planning on Noah’s flood because he docked that yacht, and a swanky one it is, in Washington Dee Cee.

Abilene, Texas, houses Dyes Air Force Base, where I have seen Airmen living in substandard housing, while Randy let lobbyists buy him a stinkin’ yacht.

I ain’t telling Juanita today.  I’m going to tell her tomorrow after we’ve already packed her pick-up for a road trip.  We’re going to include  little “Cap’n Randy is a Jerk!” sailor caps for her to give away.

Cap’n Randy, of the USS Little Winkie, says he shouted Baby Killer in the heat of the moment.  Honey, there’s no telling what Juanita will shout when she gets heated.