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As most of you know, Lyndon LaRouche nutty-girl Kesha Rogers is running as a Democrat for CD22 in Texas.  Yeah, yeah, my own congressional district.  The shame of it all.

I refuse to get outraged about this.  Republicans have taken all the honor out of outrage.  It is my theory that outrage passes for foreplay in most Republican homes.  They watch Glen Beck and then get frisky.  How else could you explain his popularity?

So, instead of getting all outraged and snippy about Kesha, your friends here at the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc, in downtown uptown Richmond, Texas, have a plan.  And it’s a good one.

We are going to hold a contest to see who can get their picture taken standing beside Kesha with the funniest sign.  Lyndon LaRoucherians have no sense of humor.  They have all had humorectomies.  It’s required prior to joining.  So this will drive them nuts.

Just stand beside Kesha with a sign like this —— and have someone take your picture with a digital camera.  You might even go for  —

That’ll make them crazy.

So, send the picture right here to Juanita and you can win $100 cash American money to spend any way you want to.  No, I’m serious, you can buy shoes, a purse, a pedicure, a great summer hat, or you can waste it by paying the electric bill.

See, real American money that could be yours!

But wait, there’s more.

We gotta have rules.  The rules are that you cannot push, shove, or physically contact any of the trolls surrounding Kesha.  Trickery, however, is not only acceptable, it’s encouraged. Should you not be able to find Kesha standing alone due to that whole wolves and packs thing, you might try making a backup sign like this one —

The other rule is that you may not photoshop said picture, unless, of course, you live in a foreign state.  Then you can do whatever the hell you want.

I will probably get around to setting up a special page here on my unblog to display the entries and do the judging.  I will probably ask my fellow members of the Old Farts Blogging Federation to be the judges.  Unless, of course, we once again drink too much beer at our meeting and have to imagine Rahm Emanuel and Eric Massa buck nakid in the shower arguing with each other just so we can sober up enough to drive home. I have discovered that that’s an equally disturbing image to both gender and all sexual orientations.  No seriously, I heard the necrophiliacs find that creepy.

Anyway, this contest is open to anybody.  All it takes is a sense of humor, a magic marker, and a friend with a camera.

I guess we’ll end  the contest later this summer because nobody wants the circus to end.  So play safe and have fun.  But, mainly play fair.  I will not make your bail.

(By the way, I am perfectly serious about the One Hundred Dollars Cash American Money.  If you live around here, I will hand deliver it to you and buy you a drink.  If you live somewhere else, I’ll send a money order.)

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Kesha Rogers is a Lyndon LaRoucheian running as a Democrat for CD22 in Texas.

Juanita says this is happening as punishment from God for me saying that nothing could be worse than Nick Lampson running again.  This, truly, is worse.

Now, Kesha is gung-ho about slamming the Democratic Party every chance she gets.  She apparently, while running under the Democratic ticket, hates Democrats worse than Karl Rove does.

“Up until last Friday night, I thought Kesha’s favorite drink was Kool Aid,” Juanita says.  “But, Honey, she can down that free Democratic beer.  Here’s a picture of her at the Harris County Democratic Kickoff drinking the free beer like she was planning to use her bladder to float the battleship Texas.”

“I know the picture isn’t very good, because every time she saw me, she ran the other way.  I tend to have that effect on noncompoops,” Juanita observes.

“So her platform seems to be ‘Democrats, NO!  Free beer, YES!’  I think Junior Janochek, Jr., ran under than platform back in Junior College,” Juanita recalls.  “He wasn’t a serious candidate either.”

My buddy Hal has a plan to keep Kesha out of consideration this November.  I have another plan to have some fun with her until then.  Stay tuned – it’s coming together.

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