Math has never been Rick Perry’s strong suit.  Well, neither has biology, English, economics, animal husbandry, physics (hell, he can’t even spell that), or history.  But to his credit, rumor has it that he excelled at recess: he never got there late or left early.

Rick said that he wants to cut congressional salaries by half.  He said that with a straight face even while he was making $100,000 a year more than they do as the Texas Governor, which at best is already a part time job.

Then he said that  he would cut $5 trillion from President Barack Obama’s proposed budget.  Obama’s budget is $3.7 trillion.  Perry is going to make up the difference by having us give back New York to the Indians, selling the Capitol building to Argentina and declaring very loudly that “a dollar is a dollar, dammit!”

I hope he understands that if he burns down the White House, there is no money for a plush gated rental mansion, so he’ll have to live in a tent like everybody else would under a Perry Presidency.

Then in a moment of drunken slobbering, Perry admitted that he has some idea about who he would name defense secretary —

While he said it was a little too early to think about that, he added [Herman] Cain embodies many of the characteristics he would look for in a defense secretary.

Oh Lord, for Secretary of Defense, Rick’s looking for an ignorant sexual predator who doesn’t know where Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan is and is creeped-out by Muslims.  Y’all, I’ve thought real hard about this and the best I know, there’s only one man who fits that description and he’s married to Mrs. Herman Cain.

Anybody think Anita’s going to let Rick stay in this race past the middle of January?