Bull’s Eye!
Oh Florida, how cruel your Lady Karma is.
Okay, so Michael Richard Maser is a piece of work. He’s a convicted child abuser and a stalker. Just the kind of guy you expect to be armed to the gills in Florida.
And speaking of gills —
A homeless Lake Panasoffee man was charged Thursday with having a firearm as a convicted felon after authorities revealed he threatened to shoot another man before shooting himself in the genitals.
Oh yeah, that’s our guy.
Want a cherry on top of that ice cream? It happened in church parking lot. Maser threatened a guy. The police got called. Maser drove to a church parking lot and shot his gun. And his penis.
Maser then drove to the Grace Bible Fellowship Church off East Arbor Street, got out of his truck and fired the revolver. The round struck his penis, left testicle, left inner thigh and exited his left leg, according to the report.
But, it could have been better.
Police found a STEN Mk. II submachine gun on the floorboard behind the passenger seat of Maser’s truck.
It would have been a lot more fun if he had used that.
Thanks to Lee for the heads up.
Poster boy for the NRA?
1He looks like George Zimmerman. Unfortunate that it wasn’t George.
2NOTHING describes your unquestioned obedient support of the Second Amendment like shooting a nut off while exercising your “right” to keep and bear. Well done Michael Richard Maser, you ignorant $hit.
3Was his right testicle surgically removed prophylacticly in the ER?
4We can only hope so.
Awarded only a partial Darwin Award if not (unless that other bit was shot off 100%).
I almost responded, first word being “Holy . . .!” No, I don’t think so.
5Well it is Autumn. Y’know… Nut Season. Some people just go crazy about that stuff. *snicker*
6Are we assuming that he hit what he was aiming at? Sounds accidental to me, though good one anyway (shame it wasn’t two, if he’s still semi-functional).
Yeah, pity about not using the machine gun, though it would have been overkill, considering the size of the target.
7I’m withholding my Darwin Award nomination until we find out if any bits were left. If this guy is able to inseminate, even en vitrio, society loses.
8Maybe he and John Bobbitt can become penis pals. Damn autocorrect! That was supposed to say “pen.” Really. Would I lie to you? Would I?
9@maryelle
+1
10If nothing else, he might forevermore be referred to as that One Nut Wonder!!
LOL
11He must really be a crack shot to hit such a small target.
Or maybe he was just on crack.
12Karma, I Love YEW!!
13Debbo: *wink*
14Lunargent: It’s spelled k-a-r-m-a but it’s pronounced ha-ha-dum-ass.
15OK, I confess, I love this blog. Youse guys is one basket of adorables.
16JAKvirginia, Whaddaya know. I’ve been mispronouncing it all these years.
17Debbo-does it make yours feel better? I’m licking your sense of humor better and better.
18What is the sense of humor growing on?
19Speak about going off half cocked.
20epo, you lost me. “-does it make yours feel better?” You mean my orientation? Yes, I love knowing that a sexual criminal got it right in his teeny weeny.
“I’m licking your sense of humor . . . ” I’m hoping you meant to say “liking.” Right? Yer pretty clever yerownself.
21Isn’t what he did biblical?? I remember something about “is your dick offends you, then shot it off.” or something like that!?!
22@JAKvirginia #6- There used to be a dive sort of bar called Bruce’s bar in a little one dot eastern Colorado town named Severance they were rightly famous for their rocky mountain oysters. which have nothing to do with shellfish or this story, except maybe peripherally.But, the unintended target of this guys practice put me in mind of Bruce’s.
23This tragedy could have been prevented if his genitals had been armed. The only thing that will stop a bad d!ck with a gun is a good d!ck with a gun
24Ha hah ha ha ha. Just can’t stop laughing at the gun nuts who seem absolutely forced to shoot off their penis, balls, whatever happens to be hanging around. At least they also remove themselves from the gene pool. Although this moron has one more ball. But don’t worry. He probably has a full clip.
25