Bringing a Knife to a Gunfight
Talk about having it floored in neutral, Tennessee has taken the leadership role in the switchblade knife industry because we don’t have enough damn ways for people to hurt each other.
Now there’s a bill to make it legal for Tennesseans to carry switchblades, daggers, stilettos and possibly even swords and spears to defend themselves against the criminal element.
Well, surely they mean responsible adults with training in the handling of the entire Rachel Ray steak knife assortment.
Pull in on those reins, Buddy. They ain’t going there. One state senator explained –
“If my 18-year-old daughter feels the need to carry a weapon to defend herself, by law she cannot carry a pistol and it’s my contention that she should be able to carry a knife to defend herself. And she shouldn’t have to worry about going across the state and wondering whether this length knife is going to be legal in this city and illegal in that city.”
How ’bout your 12 year old daughter? Is there some law in Tennessee that makes it legal to attack 18 year olds but not 12 year olds. Oh hell, why stop there. Let’s give one to the kid walking to kindergarten.
I dunno, but if I see some dude walking down the street with a sword, I’m going to ask him if he’s Robert E Lee.
I’ve been pondering on what sharp object I would use and have decided that I’m going with a piece of paper. Those paper cuts will hurt like the dickens for days. I could scare the fool outta people. “I’m gonna grab you, hold you down, get a sheet of legal paper and paper cut your butt until it looks like a roadmap of New York City,” is like the nuclear weapon of threats.
I’m Texas Tuff, Honey. I’m taking a nap. Y’all need to wake me up with the silliness ends.
Thanks to Kathleen for the heads up.
Roger Hall in ‘You’re Stepping on My Cloak and Dagger” a memoir of the OSS, mentions being able to kill with a folded newspaper.
1Water balloons can be deadly here in Vermont, if you leave them outside to freeze.
2Whenever I think these guys have gone to the bottom they just dig a little deeper.
I had a teacher once who could freeze you solid with just a look. I don’t even know if it’s legal anymore.
3Good Lord, honey, you’ll be Rip Van Juanita long before the silliness ends!!
4When I lived in a small Mexican town in the mid-’50s every man in town who could afford one wore a pistol on his belt. The poorer men all carried machetes. It was like living in a Saturday matinee western. Most everyone was carefully polite.
My Dear One and I noticed by reading the newspaper that after an altercation whoever was wounded went to the hospital and the “winner” went to jail until the “loser” was released. No one was killed while we were there so I don’t know what the protocol was for that.
5If some dude is attacking an 18 year old girl, by the time she pulls the switchblade out of her purse, the attacking dude will most likely grab the knife away and use it against her. Making a really bad situation, even worse.
6Thank you, Aggieland Liz … that was my same exact thought … JJ will have a long, long sleep before the silliness and stupidity ends!!
7Reminds me of when my little sister Annie lived with me for a while when I was in college, back in the early 70s. She traveled solo a lot, and hitchhiked. She always kept a corkscrew in her pocket “just in case”, and being just 15, she wasn’t talking wine bottles. Annie always was a creative kid.
8Mace and a noise maker would be more sensible. If they are taken away and used against you they won’t be deadly.
9I guess pretty soon we’ll just have everyone walking around in a little cage so as not to get wounded…….wait, that would have to be a solid steel cage with eye sockets. I’m sure they’ll be the fashion statement of the week. I want a purple one, please. I’m also pretty sure we are about to reach the bottom of the barrel of stupidty.
10JJ…..I’m going to join you on the nap thing.
I expect both of us will be wide awake….
before the silliness ends.
Have tasers, and Mace gone totally out of style?
Darn…. I can’t find my cell phone in my hand bag. (When it’s ringing).
11Heaven forbid I should have to look for something deadly.
My goose would be cooked.
Actually a sword is not a bad idea! Did that once with an 1862 Civil War cavalry saber. As historian and official of the local historical society I work with such items all the time. On one occasion I had just acquired a nice cavalry saber and I went to the local grocery store. One of our board members worked there and wanted to see it and I was only too happy to grant his wish.
Now this is one of those stores that on a busy day it is impossible to do any shopping as everybody from outside of town is standing around catching up on all the latest “news.” Little groups would be blocking every isle, chattering away.
I really cleared out the isles by just walking down them carrying that saber! Ah, such fun!
They say the blade is the hardest to face because you can see it coming!
12You are so right about those paper cuts! The thought of having paper cuts on my backside would reduce me to a puddle of hormonal tears, fer sure.
13OldMayfly, when I went to South Houston High School in the 70s, it wasn’t unusual at all to see a guy with a clasp knife on his belt. A lot of the others carried pocket knives. Being a “prepared” Girl Scout, my pocket knife was in my purse. No one thought a thing about it.
Juanita Jean, if you are going to use paper, to cut them up, be sure to have a nice bottle of lemon juice to pour in the cuts afterward. [evil grin]
Warner, hadn’t heard the folded newspaper one, but I had heard of rolled newspaper or magazine to the eye or throat. Trevanian used it in either Eiger Sanction or Loo Sanction (books, not movies). Due to several years of living with a fellow who was special ops, I also know several ways to do one in with a credit card. I hope I never have to use any of this stuff, but knowledge is power.
14…and power corrupts
15Study hard
Be Evil!
If I ever go to Tennessee, I will buy and wear ninja swords. Just to be safe.
16Isn’t this the same state where police made an elderly couple remove their Ohio State Buckeyes bumper sticker from their car under gunpoint? So let’s see if I have this right, bumper stickers pose a serious threat, but citizens armed with knives, no problem. JJ, I think I see your point about fighting with a piece of paper. You’re playing by Tennessee rules. I always thought in rock-paper-scissors, scissors cut paper, but in Tennessee I guess it depends whether the rocks are in your head or not.
17scottybeamer, that’s not enough. We’ll need Kevlar burquas. With chain mail reinforcements. And three holes: two for your eyes and one from which to protrude your weapon of choice.
18Indiana repealed the switchblade ban just a few weeks ago…
19hmmm..come to think of it, IN is starting to look a lot like TX!!
What we have here (pause for dramatic effect and a quick check on the Strother Martin accent) is a competition between Texas and Tennessee to see which state can produce the most ignorant cranks and put them into public office. I’d swear we had the highest percentage of stupid in office, but then again, y’all do have Louie Gohmert, and that’s worth ten or twelve Marsha Blackburns.
Seriously… switchblades?
We’re so proud…
20Hate to inject a note of semi-rationality, but your best bet is a good self-defense class. They can grab a knife or even sword away from you, or knock it out of your hand, but it’s harder for them to disarm your foot or your thumbs.
21Squatlo,
Texas has Tennessee beat by a long shot – they have Ted Cruz! Even with our ignorance and incompetence, our guys/gals don’t quite reach that level. Oh, I need to go check my purse for my brass knuckles. I live in TN and own property in Tx, so I get a taste of both.
22Hey, hey, hey, for those who really want to protect themselves in Tennessee:
Don’t have a Switchblade or Machete Handy? How about some MORTARS – and METH – Friday nite fun in Redneckville~
23http://www.wsmv.com/story/21441604/mortar-rounds-meth-lab-found-at-humphreys-co-home#.UTGb6aH80fo.t
Once in my ‘teens I was assigned to pick up a large cream pie from a mall bakery and carry it to a business on another level of the same mall.
I don’t remember now why it wasn’t boxed. But as I carried that pie on its big tin platter, mall shoppers scattered out of my way. I began to feel quite powerful.
24Hey, this proposed legislation is not only sillier than an armadillo in a party hat, it is also totally unimaginative. It fails to cover such things as pikes, broadswords, claymores (not the mines), harquebuses, and cross-bows of all types, the latter still being used today. Damn lazy legislators! Sitting on their hands while all this stuff never makes their A-List!
25OldMayfly, I like that cream pie idea. In Tennessee, you can’t bring a firearm into the capitol (oh, the irony) but there’s no law against open carry of cream pies. Wonder how long it would take to get them banned?
And just remember that it was Tennesseans who established Texas.
26Perhaps we fems should just grow out our fingernails really, really long and coat them with Liquid Nails.
27Mary Hackett Graham, I love Tennessee. Lived/worked in both east TN and in Nashville.
28@LynnN: Acrylic nails is the way to go. Can break them with a hammer! And if we filed them to a point they would be serious weapons.
29But then someone would just ban them because only women would have them.
Nine Inch Nails, anyone? Works on a number of levels, actually… How about it, daChip?
30Personally…I’m fond of rapiers. And there’s a lot to be said for (and against) a hand-and-a-half sword (long, large, heavy, awkward, just try getting through a revolving door wearing one. But even blunt, and relatively slow with its greater weight, a long sword like that is a bone-breaker). A short broadsword is handier than a long sword, but if it’s too short your opponent can grab your arm. For those contemplating swords, remember that lighter and shorter are faster than longer and heavier, and that typical movie-sword-fighting moves (especially that exciting twirl-around thing with the cape floating out) are not good moves in reality. Learn to use the sword you choose in the best style for that particular weapon, be it western or eastern or something else.
It is difficult to kill lots of people quickly with a sword (at least, any of my swords) but you can certainly startle and do damage to one who shows up in your house–and since the pistol is the choice of most assailants, they haven’t a clue what to do when several feet of sharp pointy steel is coming at them fast.
So if you decide to bring a knife to a gun fight (or any fight) why not a sword? (Note–if you keep it nice and sharp, your assailant can’t grab it without wishing he hadn’t…which is why you want a sword that’s not just a point weapon, but an edge weapon as well. Something with a nice sharp edge.) Mine aren’t that sharp because I don’t carry them around for protection.
I’m not sure why swords are so scary, but I can tell you that I startled (unintentionally) a group of people who had come to hear me talk about writing books when I pulled my various blades out of the carrying case. Nice sensible middle-aged people who did not even have one pointed at them. I had to point out that all the blades were bated: the rapiers had big blobby protective stuff on the tips and bated edges. The sharp dagger was peace-bonded into its sheath; the others all had big blobby safety tips on them. There was a collective sigh of relief.
31Teeth are great weapons too. I saw our oldest son avoid being throttled by biting the guy real hard. He quickly left the scene.
32All jokes aside, I think it’s bizarre that you can get a permit to carry a handgun but there is no permit to carry an expandable baton. While mace and tazers are decent protective devices, sometimes a big stick will do. Also, a stick doesn’t accidentally go off. But here in Texas it is illegal to carry any sort of club.
33Sorry, but I keep visualizing the scene from Indiana Jones of the guy brandishing the scary sword whom indiana dispatches quickly with a gunshot. I’ll stick with a cell phone with 911 on speed dial.
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