BREAKING: Franklin Graham Abducted by Aliens
In a wide ranging interview on the Christian Broadcasting Network today, Franklin Graham answered questions on North Korea and other subjects of interest to viewers. His answers were as you would expect until the very end, when he was asked about the US government’s new policy of ripping immigrant families apart at the border. Shockingly, he said the practice was shameful and disagreed with it completely. He also placed the blame for this problem directly where it belonged, which is with the politicians in Washington who have just kicked the can down the road for 30 plus years on our immigration crisis.
Clearly Graham has been abducted by aliens, replaced by an avatar that was somehow mis-programmed into being humanly compassionate. I’ve never actually ever heard Graham utter a word that wasn’t hateful and exclusionary. It’s weird to hear the opposite. Have a look:
All the white evangelicals are dying off. Their kids are bailing out as fast as they can. Twenty years from now all those megachurches are going to be museums without some fresh blood.
Graham again defines cheap grace.
1Oops! He didn’t get today’s Rethug talking points.
2Don’t worry, he’ll be back on the Trump Track tomorrow.
The Southern Baptist convention adopted a resolution to similar effect.
Occasionally — not often but occasionally — our national cult holds views that are commonly decent.
3Well, confound it! There must have been a bolt of Divine lightening that I missed! Now let’s see how the rest of his Ktian brethren treat him and see if he does a flip flop.
4H/T El Jefe, you had me hoping that aliens do exist and they’d rid us of at least one of the thumpers.
5Having descended from the Catholic-Church of England-Methodist limbs of the Christian church, I find the evangelicals barely recognizable as Christian. Their Christian insistence on being “born again”, their belief in the literalness of the red-letter quotes in their Bibles, substitutionary atonement, and sometimes “in your face” activism leave me shaking my head or nervously giggling at them. If evangelicals were willing to allow others to worship in their own way, I’d have no beef with them. But many of the evangelicals I have met personally want desperately to recruit me to their side, under the guise of saving my soul. My soul is just fine and comfortable with my prayers and weekly communion. I have no need of being born again or any of their other requirements.
And Franklin Graham followed Billy down the wrong road. Not his fault, but he can at anytime acknowledge his mistake, return to the starting line, and head out again. Life is not pass or fail. Its keep trying. Keep living.
6Not to worry–the aliens who abducted Franklin tried to alter his brain chemistry, but the alteration won’t last past tomorrow. Not all those experiments that aliens perform are successful. There isn’t actually a compassionate cell in Graham’s entire body.
7Hey, Franklin, don’t tell us. Tell Donnie at the next prayer breakfast. Or give an interview on Fox. Just don’t write a letter — he’ll tear it up.
8Were you to take the one way elevator down below, I just know you would find ice and snow instead of fire and brimstone .
9Blind pig meet Acorn. Meh!
10montag, “Blind pig meet Acorn.” That is a disservice to pigs blind or otherwise and a waste of an acorn that could grow a tree to enter,until he is planted and fertilizes soil waste of insignificant sperm cell Graham cracker junior, into the equation.
Ashes to ashes dust to dust, let’s cremate these toxic …king morons, before they do more damage than they’ve done in life.
#SaveTheUniverse Resist the urge to shuttle these ***king morons into the after life of their imagination. They’ve done enough damage here on Earth. It is our responsibility to detoxify and intern them in the best methods available to science. Here on Earth, for the sake of our children, grandchildren and every living being in the planetary system, they should be treated as the nuclear waste that they are.
11I heard ol’ Franklin say this today, and I was as shocked as you were. These are strange times we live in; as I always think when I find myself agreeing with Bill Kristol or George Will, fergawdsake.
12Have no fear, Jeff Sessions has invoked his version of Romans 13. Not only does the Republican party intend to alter the Constitution, now we have the inner circle who are revising the bible to suit their needs. Even Sarah Hulkabee fell into line.
13Nah, just acting like a Christian ought to. Shocking, I know.
14When the “born agains” began their rise to notoriety in the mid80s I wondered if we were going to see a repeat of the religious fanaticism displayed by so many Christians around the time of the first millennium and, sure enough, that’s what we got.
15The (maybe) good news is that, just like in the aftermath of the first millennium, as the years after the actual millennial year (1000 AD) kept passing, the number of people certain that the end of the world was here began to drop off so that by roughly 1050 the “End Of The World Is Here” fanatics had pretty much either died off or come to their senses.
I’m thinking if we can hold out another 5-10 years the bulk of the fanaticism will begin to die away and we can get back to a slightly more sane world. Maybe Franklin Graham’s words mark the very first, faint echoes of that belief.
I interpreted Franklin’s words differently. He said separating families at the border was “disgraceful and terrible”, but Franklin blamed the problem on “politicians of the last 20-30 years”. He avoided putting the blame squarely where it belongs, on Donald Trump. Franklin’s just another gutless enabler, in lockstep with all Republican legislators.
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