.

I suspect that most of you know about Bob Perry.  He’s the home builder who is attempting to buy the entire judiciary so he can’t be sued when his crappy homes fall apart.  He’s also the money behind Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and any other dirty trick Karl Rove can pull off with loads of moolah.

Bob Perry has loads of moolah.  And he’s running around nakkid in Juanita’s own backyard, waving his arms like a crazy man and making a mess.

Bob Perry - Nakkid and Nuts

You know that goofball group, The First Amendment Alliance?  The First Amendment Alliance has raised $380,000 since its inception as a Super PAC. $334,000 of that amount (88%) came from individuals who gave their occupation as President, CEO or Chairman of the Board. 52% came from just two CEOs – Bob Perry and Clayton Williams.  “Honey,” Juanita rolls her eyes, “I guess that explains why Republicans opposed any effort in the financial reform bill to control executive salaries.”

If you click right about here, you can see where Bob Perry gave $150,000 to the First Amendment Alliance.

“But,” Juanita continues, “that’s not all.  I’m getting to the part where Bob Perry is in my backyard and why he’s nakkid.”

Judge Brady Elliott

“We have a guy who is a district court judge here.  His name is Brady Elliott but everyone calls him Brady Idiot.  Well, not everyone.  Mainly just me, but a whole lot of people have started calling him that ever since it got out that he has been given the stiffest censure allowed by the Commission on Judicial Conduct for acting the fool in a deposition.”

Actually “acting the fool” is not one of the legal terms used by the Commission on Judicial Conduct.  They jumped his case for  “failing to act at all times in a manner that promotes public confidence in the integrity and impartiality of the judiciary.”

If that sounds like a biggy, it’s because it is.

Well, now we come to the part where Bob Perry and Brady Elliott collide in an amazing hot mess of wild west law breaking, campaign violations, and Aqua Velva.

The Texas Statutes say that a husband and wife can only donation $2,500 to a judicial candidate in a county with less than one million people.  That would be us here in Fort Bend.

Now, you’d think that a political hot shot like Bob Perry would know that law and you could pretty well take it to the bank that Judge Brady Elliott would know that law.

“Honey, I am not a lawyer and I didn’t even sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night but I can read the English language and I can figure out the words ‘contribution by the spouse or child of an individual is considered to be a contribution by the individual’ without using a dictionary,” Juanita says.

Now here’s the part where they all get nakkid and prance around —

Click the little one to get the big one.

Bob Perry and his lovely bride Doylene each gave $2,500 to Judge Brady Elliot.  Right out there in the open.  In front of God and Aunt Bessie.  They don’t even try to hide their illegal donations anymore.

“Can you even imagine the ruckus if Democrats did that?” Juanita asks.  “Hell, the Republicans  would have already started impeachment proceedings and made some signs with misspelled words on them.”

“Look, I’m plenty tired of ugly old white Republican men running around nakkid right here in my hometown.  These two need to put on their big boy pants and dance to the tune they wrote for everybody else.   They are making my teeth itch,” Juanita says.