Bloomers in East Texas
Lufkin is the heart of East Texas, except it doesn’t have a heart.
It does, however, have an underwear thief. Someone is breaking into houses and stealing women’s underwear.
The incident marks at least the 17th burglary in the area in which women’s and girls’ underwear has been taken.
The burglaries have occurred over the past couple years and remain unsolved. The case has law enforcement frustrated and warning residents to remain on alert.
Lufkin Police are handling the Tuesday burglary that they say almost was not reported at all. The residents decided to call police early Wednesday to report the break-in.
Verdelia says there are far too many weird people in East Texas already and now she has to worry about perverts on top of all that crazy political stuff. She swears she’ll keep her windows rolled up, doors locked, and air conditioner off when she drives through East Texas on her way to gamble in Louisiana. “First, they want my uterus and now my bloomers,” she laments.
Congress varmints on another break? And, WTG is Steve Stockyard?
1”First, they want my uterus and now my bloomers,” she laments.
That line so makes my day!
2The linked story also states that a handgun was also reported to the police as missing, but that it was “located later” – which implies that the owner misplaced it within the house. These people need to pay attention to keeping better tabs on more things than just their undergutchies.
3While you are on an East Texas roll, you gotta check this out:http://www.kfdm.com/shared/news/top-stories/stories/kfdm_vid_9571.shtml
They are having all the fun over there.
4So, is it Steve Stockman or Louie?
5But Auntie wants to know: was the stolen underwear red or blue? Them Rethuglicans will do anything to keep Texas red…
6OMG! I haven’t heard of a panty raid since my 60s college days. When we dumped a bucket of cold water on those hot dudes clamoring below they acted like WE were out of line.
7Larry McLaughlin, Loopy Louie was all over C-SPAN spewing gohmerts. Stevie Stockyard is MIA again. Graph paper, we need graph paper. Plot the crimes, Steepie’s ‘absences’ and Loopie Louie’s Congress varmint vacations and it’s probably a ‘team’ effort. Or, Rafael Cruise-gohmert is setting up the gohmerts, while he steals the “undergutchies.” (thanks to UmptyDump for that polite way to describe the ladies under linen.)
But, it is Texas and no lack of suspects. pRick Perry, Dewie, so many, and WTG, Tommy Twit DeLay on a final panty raid prior to prison. Holy Gomerts, TX has more suspect crazy gohmert politicians than panties. Ladies, lock up your drawers. The TX gohmerts have moved on from none of their business to what covers your none of their business.
? secret draw drawer with some of that bank bust a criminal ink?
81. Look for the last person in the entire world that you would ever suspect. Fetishists have that “unsuspectible” going for them.
2. It could also be a little old lady who is filching the scanties and channeling them to somebody somewhere who would really, really appreciate them as in can’t live without them.
OK. OK. So I’ve got too much time on my hands!
9I dunno. Years ago, I remodeled an old house, taking the walls down to the studs. The mice had stolen so many ladies undies, it was like insulation in the walls. Could just be east Texas rats.
10Eh, but Timbo, can you separate east Texas rats from east TX politicians? Ah gohmerts of course you can. The rats are the ones with standards, and leaving tiny droppings. Breaking and Entry separates the rats from the perverts. The evidence is suggesting that the rodent(s) have two legs and will probably drop some DNA, sooner or later. Absent any rodent droppings; just saying.
11Holy Gohmerts, maggie, you may be on to something. While probably not an elderly woman, it could be one of those intrusive GOP show me your drawers crazy too impatient to ambush their victims and steal their drawers, RWNJ wimps. Finding no evidence in the medicine cabinet, Holy Gohmerts, the RW nuts are out to gather DNA.
Imagine that. The anti-science crowd sure does love science, when they can twist it through the Constitution to promote illegal search and seizure.
12Could be a cat, too:
13Oh, my, RepubAnon, I am so flustered! Why, that is a shopping list of everything you’d need for an…erm…orgy.
Stolen underwear. Check. Sport Bras. Check. Bath mat. Check. Pizza. Check. German sausage. Check.
I’m just not sure if the “gravy paste” is a new trend. But I’ll let you know!
14This guy obviously has a death wish. Break into the wrong house in Texas and your corpse will assay about 40% lead and copper. Perry would sell it for the heavy metals in it.
15Maybe it was cats or rats. Glad the gun was located. When a friend and I traveled to London in the 80s, all my bras were stolen. My friend and I pictured the B&B owners wearing them on their heads.
16I went to SFA in nearby Nacogdoches in the 70s when the school was famous for basketball & panty raids. Dollars to donuts the thief is either a Frat Rat or a member of a defunct inter mural team called the Dudes. I think a few still live in Nac..
17Hey, now. As one of the few Dudes left in Nac, I gotta say that was below even us. We got in a wee bit o’ trouble, but pilfering packed away panties wasn’t one of ’em.
18I’m bound to say this sounds like a repressed frat boy.
I hope they catch him soon.