You know how New Year’s Eve is for amateur alcoholics?  Well, Black Friday is for amateur shopoholics.  I do not even go outside on Black Friday because there’s bullets flying and pepper spray busting.  When I die, I want to be real old, real sick, or doing something worth dying for.  I do not want “innocent bystander” anywhere in my obituary.

Thelma says she might be willing to risk that for Shiny Friday or Union Made Monday, but she ain’t willing to die for $199 generic plasma teevee made in China and guaranteed to emit all manner of bad child labor karma and God only knows what else.

And speaking of pepper spray, Amazon has some great reviews of this food product.  Enjoy!

So we’re all staying at the shop today and thanking our lucky stars that we belong to the same political party as this woman.

TUCSON, Ariz. – U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords helped serve a Thanksgiving meal to service members and retirees at a military base in her hometown of Tucson, Ariz.

Giffords arrived in the dining hall at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base at midday Thursday wearing a ball cap and an apron with her nickname of “Gabby” sewn on the front. She was accompanied by her retired astronaut husband, Mark Kelly, who also donned an apron.

Giffords used only her left hand as she served, a sign that physical damage remains from the injuries she suffered when she was shot in January.

Thanks to Sam and Gramian for the heads up.