Because When There’s Planetary Cataclysmic Activity, The National Forest Service Is On The Job
Three words that automatically open every library door in America: Louie Gohmert, y’all.
ORBITS: Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) asks whether the Forest Service or the BLM can alter the orbit of the moon or the Earth in order to fight climate change during a House Natural Resources hearing pic.twitter.com/yYiOyi2cMZ
— Forbes (@Forbes) June 8, 2021
I think by BLM, he means the Bureau of Land Management because, you know, what is the earth but land? Although I am pretty damn certain he’d love to blame all this on Black Lives Matter.
Lordy. Maybe Louie should stick to matters closer to home. Something sciency such as does hair follicle loss correlate with loss of brain cells. In the debate between are you simply stupid or deliberately stupid ya gotta give it to Louie. He’s a natural.
Up next Louie and Bill O’Lielly pontificate on the bright side of shooting the moon out of the sky and the advantages of no more low tide/high tide considerations.
1Even for Louie, that hits a new level of STOOPID.
2Damn … That’s a special type of stupid. Where the hell did he get schooled?
Okay … had to look it up found his web page. Nothing on early education but he went to Texas A&M University.
I think they need to ask for their diploma back.
3The look on her face when he asked her to look into changing the orbit of the moon or the Earth reminded me of Dr. Birx when Trump asked her to look into injecting bleach to stop Covid.
4Well, I suppose we could launch some monster trucks into a Trojan orbit, attach cables, and tow the Earth to a different orbit…
5(/snark)
The District idiot. Suitable for all villages.
6OMG did Louie uncover the diabolical Liberal plot that George Soros and China were secretly changing the orbit of the Earth and Moon, causing apocalyptic natural disasters, just to eliminate all the Christians (thereby turning the whole world Gay) before Jesus could preform the Rapture???
7Critical thinking at it’s best, that boy will go far!
dammit, Lex, you weren’t supposed to spill the beans…
8I think we’re missing the point here. If ‘ol Louie (as a faithful Republican) can shift the blame from man to God as the cause for climate change, then we won’t have to pass some pesky laws to mitigate climate change.
9I don’t know how many people were zoomed into this hearing, but I have to think they were rolling on the floor with laughter. The lady was quite polite while I’m pretty sure she was thinking why is this efing idiot in congress. How did he get elected? Oh that’s right, he’s a texas repugnantican.
10He makes Gomer Pyle sound smart.
Loopy Louie’s top secret clearances prevented him from asking why we can’t use the United States Space Force (USSF) equipped with jewish space lasers to fix this little problem …
11Science Fiction Theatre (intro and close)
frozen fish thaws and reanimates.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBWPa-Pv-tg
12Did anyone check to see if Louie is wearing his pants backwards?
13Maybe the forest service could plant trees on the moon Louie? Real tall trees Louie, making the moon bigger. That might change some orbits.
14I had geology a hundred years ago in college. The Earth wobbles on its axis, also the poles haven’t only been where they are today and may move to the equator next time. But I can be almost 100% sure the Bureau of Land Management or the Black Lives Matter group will have nothing to do with it!
15Grandma Ada: Louie is so many steps ahead of the rest of us. Take a look at this “doctor’s” explanation of how people are getting magnetized by the Covid vaccine and 5G networks.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1402288748575002632
Since there is such an uneven distribution in world of vaccination rates and 5G networks, earth’s magnetic field has been altered, resulting in climate change.
16Jane and PKM, Louie’s a natural ferdamnsure.
17But he’s got so much competition nowadays he’s really gotta up his game just to stand out.
Actually, now that I think about it, it makes total, absolute disgusting sense.
18The milage this deliberate bottom feeder will get outta this is probably better than a week’s worth of the never ending fund raising phone calls congresspeople have to make to keep getting elected.
He does this kinda crap, Facebook and Twitter do the rest.
The sad part is that it’s gonna take somebody willing to sit in a cage mostly naked, covered in their own shit biting the heads off small animals running for office before the majority of folks from Lufkin and Tyler will vote him out.
19Well.
20I am upset that Elise Stefanik represents my district.
But I would be mortified if Louie Gohmert were my rep.
Well heck yeah! Remember when Superman rotated the Earth 360 degrees backwards and it was yesterday again?
I think Louie spent his years at Texas A&M reading comic books instead of text books.
21Louie really is one dumb creature, ain’t he? I agree I would be mortified if I lived in his district. Good god, what an imbecile! There are words enough…
22Wait, does he have offspring?
Dolemite in Space?
23Louie inhabits his own orbit, which is a continuously diminishing spiral. Sometime soon he will disappear up his own butt and become extinct. There’s always hope.
24P.P. @17: how dare you say such nasty things about geeks! They would never run for office in east Texas. And if any of them did, Tyler would regard them as too high-falutin’ for office.
25Since Louie and his party still think of minorities as property, I’m sure this was an honest mistake on his part.
26I live in Alabama and I’ll see your Louie Gohmert and raise you Mo Brooks.
27We should be terrified that these people are elected.
28Instead, we laugh.
We’re as dumb.
Ormond, we are terrified that they were elected.
I love Ms. Juanita Jean, El Jefe and all the rest. They keep me from putting my head in the oven. The patrons of the salon show me the humanity, creativity and sense of humor in plain ol Americans.
Ya can’t beat that. Neither can the people who elected Louie
29Ormond,
30I, and I believe most others here at the Salon can multitask, laugh at Louie & be terrified simultaneously.
One doesn’t preclude the other.
@Art
Mount Pleasant (it’s neither) high school class of 1971.
Texas A&M. Baylor Law.
31Gohmert has to be the most obnoxious, ignorant a-hole I have ever seen or heard in all my 77 years! I know there are others but Louie truly takes the proverbial dumbass cake!!! And, of course, there is Trump … he eats the effing cake!
32We laugh very sarcastically about the likes of the gohmerts we’re currently forced to endure. Otherwise we’d go insane.
33We all look forward to the gohmerts of current politics being booted from office by Democrats. That means getting out the vote despite the voter suppression in states like Texas. I realize that’s a high goal, but we can never give up.
Professor, fair point.
34Apologies to geeks or any other sideshow folks I might have offended with the suggestion that their profession is somehow on par with deep East Texas repugnantcans.
Don’t know what I was thinking.
Remember when lol or j/k or /s was sufficient for on-line communication? Lordy I think we need a “just venting” symbol to express that after 4 years of the ***king moron** and his maladministration to express our frustrations, best efforts to take deep breaths, and basically get over that generic twitchy feeling we all have when Loopy Louie, the Freedumb Caucus, remaining Tea Baggers and Qcumbers speak. C’mon, we deserve a little latitude and venting process to weather a serious group of loons who are in Congress and not safely ensconced at the nearest health care facility for the criminally insane.
P.P. no need to apologize. Chalk it up to the tic we all suffer from the rise of the QOP.
35My GoD, are there no doctors with the cajones to declare him legally dead???
Again, he may be walking and talking, but there’s no brain waves, Clarice!
36I’m a white man who was born in Alabama and raised up in Texas. I’m old enough to remember “Colored Only” signs at the Belton, Texas bus station. The idiots that run this state include Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, John Cornyn and Roger Williams (my representative). These are terrible racist humans who have impoverished, immiserated and killed Texas citizens in order to enrich themselves. I never voted for any of these monsters because I’m neither Republican or Democrat. I tried to leave Texas twice in my life but I aways came back. Now I’m old and it’s to late to leave.
37The biggest problem will be getting around the “Big Astrology” super PACs who’ll be buying off anyone who signs on for an orbit change.
38Louie shows once and for all what kind of grades he got in science class…
39