Because Texas is Just Chocked Full O’ Nuts
Please meet Republican State Representative Pat Fallon from Frisco, Texas, which is really just North Dallas.
He’s what they call “a real Christian man” around here.
And he went on the radio to prove it. He’s taking this war on Christmas thing real serious. Damn serious. Holy crap on fire serious with — prepare yourself — some issues. He ain’t messin’ around with these agnostics and the separation of church and state people, which in his mind are the same exact thing.
What is wrong with America, my friend, is that there is not near enough Christmas and Ole St. Pat is putting on the merry and grabbing up his shotgun and making Christmas happen.
Later in the broadcast, Fallon revealed that he and his wife are going to print up t-shirts that say “Merry Christmas” on the front and “Jesus is the reason for the season” and then hand them out to school children who will be encouraged to wear the shirts to school on the last day before winter break.
“And I tell you right now,” Fallon warned, “they’d better not send any of those children home, or there’s going to be some issues.”
Hellfire and brimstone ain’t got nothing on “some issues.” I just learned from experts in the issues department that “some issues” means more than one, you know, like tar and feathers. Not just tar and not just feathers but the two combined like pancakes and syrup. Same deal with “some issues.” I dunno about you, but I’m real dandy scared of “some issues.”
It’s that time of year when compulsory joy is flowing like sludge down the septic tank from Christians making “there’s going to be some issues” threats.
They will pressure little baby children into uniforms and force them to fight Pat Fallon’s political battles. You know, like Christians do. After all, Matthew reported that Jesus said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me and I will put them in some damn tee-shirts advertising my brand and beat the holy shineola outta anybody who says that little children shouldn’t be political pawns.” Oh, and “Amen.”
I flat forgot who sent me this. I know someone did so please take credit!
Oh, I already know I am destined for hellfire so all the RWNJ’s out there who can read this (thank a teacher!) can just hold their snot. I am such a rebel that no one but me dresses my children, free t-shirts or what. I am more inclined to do something like the Bishop of Rome is advocating by his own example: live the merry in Christmas by helping to feed, clothe, house, educate and even medicate the poorest among us. Add to that my inclination NOT to tell these people they are lazy and worthless, etc. To do that would look just to damn much like the policies, posters and whatever else the Nazis used years ago. Now here’s by Chistmas gift to the RWNJ’s: stuff it! And grow the frik up!
1Apparently the dear man wants to take issue with the very first person in recorded history to call for the separation of church and state. His words were considered so important that they were included in three different books.
I’ll just reference the Book of Matthew.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2022:18-22&version=ESV
Bless Pat’s heart, but he has “issues” with the man his religion is named after.
2I hope if this idiot gets to heaven that Jesus will have some “issues” with him.
3This whole “War On Christmas” delirium is just so odd I can’t get a handle on it, no matter how many items I read about it. Too weird.
4Ya know schools just don’t respect Christmas any more and give kids two weeks off just so they don’t have to discuss it! 😉
5Don’t these people ever experience epistaxis and contusion of the lid?
6Folks, for those of you that celebrate the birth of Jesus to unwed teenage parents, fleeing the oppression of a vindictive patriarchal society: Merry Christmas. For everyone else that has a holy day/period at this time of year: Happy Holidays. Otherwise: Happy New Year.
See, that didn’t hurt much
7What a jerk. So many schools prohibit certain colors because of the incitement value. Other schools ban any clothing with amusing words that might somehow offend. Sadly kids have few if any First Amendment rights. Yet this clown wants to send them to school wearing his shirts that are in all probability an offense that could result in suspension.
Love the family value RWNJs who think their message is more important than the education of the children, who might lose school days for wearing the shirts.
8It’s the Cheney Syndrome, Bud Malone. It requires a beating heart to experience epistaxis.
My bet would be cranial rectal osteopathy.
9“I flat forgot who sent me this. I know someone did so please take credit!”
I take full responsibility for sending this to the “The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.”
10This evening I was visiting on the phone with an old friend. She happened to say “and we need to keep Christ in Christmas.” Aha. I said “Honey, you’re probably too young to remember this but when I was growing up we heard a sermon every year at Christmas time about why we don’t celebrate Christmas as Jesus’ birthday.” Wouldn’t you know, she heard the same sermons. And I dare say she also heard folks saying we shouldn’t sing religious Christmas carols, or if you want to really go overboard, you can say DECEMBER 25 instead of you know, Christmas. “So,” I concluded, “we celebrate a secular Christmas every year. Isn’t the most important thing that people who love each other should get together and have a good time?” She agreed it was.
11If he wants Christmas to be exclusively Christian, he’s got some work to do getting rid of the trees, wreaths, candles, Yule logs, gift-giving, big dinners, Frosty, Rudolph, the Chipmunks, holly, mistletoe, and a lot of the music. Everything, in fact, except manger scenes, church services (exclusively Biblical content), and any music that isn’t explicitly and solely about the birth of Jesus. In fact, a lot of elements of that birth story were borrowed from earlier traditions, so he’s down to very little.
This is part of why the Puritans banned Christmas: they knew that very little of it was actually Christian.
Happy solstice, y’all– the rebirth of the Unconquered Sun is the reason for the season!
12Happy solstice, Rhea. We celebrate the daylight added to the day.
Albeit, am tempted to barter with Pat Fallon. In exchange, I wouldn’t insist he give up all that belongs to others to celebrate his brand of Christmas in his own home, if he would guarantee that Sarah Baby Palin never speak again on Christmas or any other topic. Am, forgive me, ready to bargain with that he devil so that she devil only blights the sound and view from John McCain’s porch.
13Is there a will to send a child to school dressed for a suit — just to get the Southern Poverty Law Center [SPLC] engaged in this?
As a KY-ian whose gov is a ‘johnny-come-lately’ to democratic initiatives, I commiserate with your frustration down there in Texas.
14We are missing a good opportunity here. Madam Proprietress, why not have a competition for the best rival slogans to put on a Beauty Salon approved T-Shirt? For instance: When Jesus said, do unto others, he was including the working poor.
15Come to think of it–why is there not an official Beauty Salon T-shirt? I would be proud to buy one, profits to the party.
Maybe get a bunch of T-shirts with “Happy Solstice” and “Axial tilt is the reason for the seasons” printed up?
16Upping your ante, RepubAnon. T-shirts available in 3 shades of blue and gray. No white, too much toxic bleach required to keep them white.
But I insist in this one in Red, White and Blue: Cruz, Paul and Ryan: brought, bought and paid for by special interests.
Koch Brothers, worse for your health than coke.
17Hope this works, bought a new computer and I can’t see the keys.
Anyway, my Mom spent her last several years in a Jewish Nursing Home in Phoenix before she died the morning after Christmas Day. One of 5 Christians there, out of 300+ patients, they still treated her like gold! They didn’t want displays of Christmas but tolerated the little stuffed reindeer and little bells attached to her walker. Mom was a true maverick! Allowed the little planted Christmas tree in her window with tiny battery powered lights.
The Rabbi came often to visit, her Christian pastors (not a one!) ever showed up. Needless to say, after Mom died we asked that her memorial be held in that nursing home and that the Rabbi would preside. So much kindness and love, it truly gave us comfort.
So the week before that final Christmas Mom opened the package I sent. She told me that night one present I sent she wore to breakfast and all her tablemates laughed but not offended. Then some Medtech came into her room to take vitals and burst into guffows “now that is damn funny!”
Last time I talked to Mom, but it still gives me fond memories. The tee-shirt said, in huge letters:
BE NAUGHTY!
18SANTA’S COMING!
I don’t know much about hell fire, but I expect that people who use children as ammunition will be finding out rather a lot about it at some point.
19May I add that before Mom’s Memorial, the Rabbi went to all the Staff and really did a beautiful job finding details. He said that the Staff ALWAYS knew when Verna was going home for a day trip.
Mom would be wheeling around in her wheelchair singing:
“I’m gonna eat porkchops! I’m gonna eat porkchops!”
Too bad so many of the christians can’t find the love & kindness, especially at the holidays.
20It’s a pity that the Lord God didn’t have Mr. Fallon’s marketing expertise! All that was needed was T-Shirts on small children rather than the Star of Bethlehem, the shepherds, and wise men who have managed to bring attention to the birth of Jesus for only two millennium. Alas, wisdom is going to die with Mr. Fallon and humanity and the Lord of Hosts will just have to muddle through as best we can.
21Dianne in Pa-Rethuglicans have taken the “do unto others” part to the extreme,exclusively when dealing with the poor. dumb bass dubya elevated “tsunami up” economics as his basis for how he treated the least among us. Bush looked for the smallest “minortity” group he could find to treat and came away with millionaires and billionaires as the beneficiaries of his fauxknee christian largesse.
22Maggie at #1-you wildcat! 🙂
It is getting a whole lot easier to understand why christ could not have been born in wingnut red,Texas. You’ll never find three wise wingnuts,the virgins have all been sacrificed and christ probably would be unconmfortable with the precious gifts of gays,guns and god and would be banned from the wingnut party.
23I was thinking the same thing: isn’t it illegal to do what Fallon did with kids’ T shirts? Maybe the kids go to a private school.
24And when we get the T shirts, can’t us ladies get the lady neckline T shirt? Not the one half-way to the navel, just a nice neckline that doesn’t look like we just got the 3 for ten dollars ones.
25TexasEllen, just when I was ready to sit in the floor and howl at all the stoopid you made me laugh. Thanks!!
I think Mr Pat needs to work on his reading comprehension skills and then go read some history of Christmas customs (that would be history not written by David Barton) before he spews any more of his ignorance for all to see and hear.
26“kath the scrappy” gave me my smile for the day – or maybe the week (or month!). Thanks for sharing such a great story. Your mom sounds like she was a real pistol!
27Might I suggest,
REPUBLICANS….
HOOKED ON KOCH!
28I am thinking this is a concerted effort by the secessionists to get the rest of the country to be so sick of the Texas crazy, we would push Texas out of the Union…It is working…I don’t know how you do it Sue…you and Bubba have got to be the bravest, stoutest, and smartest to survive in such a place…Keep it going folks…and good job…
29This picture of this guy looks like he squirted an entire can of that cheez-in-a-can stuff into his mouth because that is the cheeziest looking faux grin I’ve seen in a long time!
30And just where is he going to find these “school children”? Kids are taught never to go near or take anything from a stranger. As a parent, I’d be concerned about some creep handing out free tee shirts to my kids at school. Who is this guy? Did the school allow him on premises? Is he a pervert? Anyone do a back round check? Someone call the cops!
Not to mention the non-Christian kids, who don’t celebrate Christmas, might not be interested.
Yea, great idea, Captain Christmas.
31Let’s all follow the example of those Hindus in OK who want equal space to put up a religious monument. I suggest Kali with the many arms – in vibrant colors, of course.
32@ dbtexas
Thanks for your comment! Yes, Mom was a pistol and they so enjoyed her. She loved Christmas like nobody I’ve ever known. We think she just hung on so that none of us would feel sad on the very day. Again, my thanks.
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