Because Nothing Says Love Like ….
Want to make an impression she’ll never forget next Valentine’s Day? Shoot her in the butt.
According to an Oak Creek police report, a 24-year-old man called 911 about 5:45 p.m. Feb. 14 saying he just accidentally shot his girlfriend in the butt with a 9-millimeter handgun.
Dispatchers instructed him on how to tend to his girlfriend’s wounds as he waited for police and paramedics to arrive, according to the report. A police canine searched the couple’s residence, in the 500 block of E. Town Square Court, and determined it was safe for officers to enter.
And then have the police send in the dogs.
Oh baby, baby.
Or having really caring and loving friends …
Twenty three year old Krystal Caruso liked playing with her gun. She had a permit to carry and a license for the gun.
Coombs said her 16-year-old brother watched Caruso, a graduate of Royal Palm Beach High School, spin the gun in her hand and point it at her head. The loaded gun fired and killed her, Parker reported.
“I want to wake her up back from the dead just to punch her in the face and go, ‘Why were you being so stupid?'” Coombs said.
It must be spring. Love is all in the air.
Thanks to Carl for the heads up.
In the animal kingdom, survival of the fittest has a way of weeding out inferior genetic strains. Obviously, our gene pool needs more chlorine, hence our addiction and fascination with handguns. Around here we use deer stands and bourbon to cull the stupid, and in Minnesota they use ice houses pulled out onto thawing lakes.
Whatever works.
1Actually, here in Minnesota, it’s the “snowmobilers” who “weed out.” They drive onto lakes that have almost no ice in early, late, or mild winter, and in the spring with open water. They go through the iced. End of story. What can you say?
2I love the smell of Freeeeeeeeedom!!!!! in the morning.
3Another candidate for the Darwin awards.
4In Texas we have a proclivity for letting the genetically-challenged serVe in the legislature
5In California they become Gay Republicans.
6There is really only one rule a gun owner needs to follow. Rule #1: don’t point the gun at your girlfriend’s butt. Rule #1 again: don’t point your gun at yourself… ad infinitum.
7Get the point? (Maybe instead of “Got Milk,” the NRA could run a series of “Get the Point?” ads to keep from losing too many customers.)
Saddest thing is…. there are no “do overs”.
I have no words.
8Since he shot her in the butt, now he’ll probably leave her because her butt is dimpled. Hopefully she has enough sense to leave him and sue his worthless butt off.
And nothing says stupid like playing with a gun and shooting yourownself in the head.
9With DEEP apologies to Jon Bon Jovi, let’s hear another tune from Bitchin’ Betty and the Sequined Backhoes:
Shot through the ass
And you’re to blame, Darlin’
You give guns a bad name.
Self protection is what you sell
You promise safety but send me to hell
Wayne LaPierre’s got a hold on me
It hurts when I sit, but at least I’m free
Oh, it’s a lodaed gun
Oh, it seemed like fun
No one can save me
The buttocks are done
Shot through the ass
And you’re to blame,
You give guns a bad name.
Russian Roulette is your favorite game
You give guns a bad name.
Paint a target on my cheeks
Cover you ears to hide my shrieks
A school boy’s dream to play with his gun
I’ll lay here and bleed, while you call Nine One One
Oh, it’s a lodaed gun
Oh, it seemed like fun
No one can save me
The buttocks are done
Shot through the ass
10And you’re to blame,
You give guns a bad name.
Russian Roulette is your favorite game
You give guns a bad name.
Oh, Chip, once again, you are the bubbles in my champagne.
I have friends (both former military) who taught their son to never point guns, even his toy guns, at himself or anyone else. It was the rule in their house for any visiting children as well, and a good one, I thought.
11Dear SusanF that’s how it was in our house too! And daChip, no one need ever apologize to Jon BonJovi, ever. JMHO.
12Woman tries to make waffles in her oven, shot by the oven in her chest, thighs and knees:
13http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/article/299212/8/Ammo-stored-in-oven-explodes-injures-woman
Bullets of love? Did they take KISS’ Love Gun seriously? Hey, guys, it’s only rock n roll…..
14I laughed so loud I’m hoarse but I do feel so sorry for the little brother. I’d like to wake the sister up and punch her again just for him, and her mama and daddy. Guns not only kill a person, the reveberation of the bullet resounds permanently for others.
15I’ll bet she can’t wait for next Valentines Day.
16