Because He’s Nuts
Shortly after comparing gays to alcoholism, Texas Governor Rick Perry met with a Jewish reporter at a deli in Beverly Hills, California. Bad crap happened.
For staters:
Perry took a moment to appreciate his surroundings. “I’m more Jewish than you think I am,” he told me. “I read the part of the Bible that said the Jews are God’s chosen people.”
Well, dude, God did not chose you in the Republican Presidential debates.
Perry told me that he loves California, vacations in San Diego annually, visits the state about six times a year and might even move here in January when he’s done with his 14-year stint running Texas. That is, if he does not somehow decide to run for president.
Rick, Babe, me and about 300 of my friends are headed to Austin to help you pack up the moving van.
“When I step out of my current job,” Perry said, “and I have 15 or 20 productive years left in my body, I want to be able to have as in-depth an understanding about this world as possible.”
Productive years? Son, you’ve never had productive years. You vetoed the equal pay bill. You’ve had futile years. Take a lesson from Dubya, go learn to paint pictures of cats and bathtubs.
Thanks to Melissa for the heads up.
I like the idea of Perry donning his beret to work on some cat paintings in his retirement JJ. But he could follow his own path and head out on the trail to take selfies of himself and the various mangy varmints he shoots. Post them to Instagram and Pinterest.
1Oh, and on Mr. Perry’s possible move to California, mazel tov!
2Well his brain is virtually unused….
3I don’t think California will welcome pRick with open arms. Lots of liberals running around scott free and they won’t cotton to Perry’s brand of horse$hit.
4Oh PLEASE. no more paintings of politicians in bathtubs! The mental images of Dubya are still giving me nightmares!
5John Peter: What happens to unused body parts? They wither and die and fall off. Ol’ pRick’s brain has withered to the point that it rattles around in there like a BB in a boxcar. It’s surrounded by The Stupid on every side.
6Oh, for the love of little green apples, NO!!! We already have to stomach Romney and his car elevator, both of them would surely trigger the San Andreas fault line and drop the coast into the sea. What did we ever do to you to deserve the toxic waste politicians?
7I hear Mitt Romney has an opening for elevator operator in his La Jolla mansion.
8I’m thinking Ricky is more West Hollywood than San Diego.
9I’ll contribute to a one way non-refundable ticket.
10Woulda kinda maybe been a good thing if he had worked to develop an understanding of the world, you know, BEFORE he ran for president.
What with that worldly understanding being a good thing for a president to have and all.
Just sayin’.
11Wait, what?! Didn’t Ricky-dot-gov run all those ads trying to steal – err, uhh, *persuade* – California businesses to move to Texas, cuz the bidness climate was sooooo much more gooder? And now *he’s* gonna blow off Texas and move *himself* to California?! Oh, that’s just so rich, if I were anemic I could get an irony transfusion off of it that’d last me for months!
12I’m originally from SoCal and I can’t for the life of me imagine Perry living there. Except for Venice beach maybe. “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Paint Creek anymore.”
(aka Melissa)
13I believe the man has lost his marbles, should immediately resign, move to San Diego and swim with the sharks.
14I think he really thinks he could become President but doesn’t really want to, so he purposefully said some incredible &€%^ every once in a while to derail his campaign. Either that or he’s incredibly stoopid.
15Perry wants one of them bat-s$%t-crazy mitzvah beanies with a propellor on top,to cool his passion for jewish peoples and policies.
16At the far end of a very over-extended adolescence…
Rick Beach Boy Perry: Endless Bummer
17Never happen. He’d have to start paying his rightful share of taxes.
18I guess that’s why California businesses are moving to Texas – they heard Rick Perry was moving to California…
19Paint???? Nah. It’ll be crayons.
20NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
21Can I add my I still love California and my family and friends live there so NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! from another Elise!
22I don’t care where he goes as long as a) it’s not the White House and b) it’s a lot farther away from central Texas than he is now. Heard today there’s supposedly a great white shark moving toward the Texas coast…maybe he could arrange a meeting with it. Jaws vs. jaws-too-much.
23Honey, paint, crayons, indelible markers, whatever suits you. Just get the message out.
24Keep CA from turning into a refugee camp for excessively coiffed, brunette, cardboard stiff, shirt-model lookalike frustrated GOP presidential wannabes. We already have one.
Hi Elise Von H: together we must constitute a significant % of the Elises in the US!
25No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
No way.
I live in California.
Buy Perry a one-way ticket to Florida and tell him it’s California.
26Perry sure has a high opinion of hisself and his abilities,don’t he?
27LynnN #26: I agree with you. I, too, live in California. Mr. Perry can go find someplace else to grace with his presence. We already have Romney cluttering up the State.
Why do people who disparage California seem to like coming here anyway?
28Productive years, Rick? You’re a Republican. Republicans don’t produce and create. They obstruct and destroy.
29I would think the very notion of pRick moving out of Texas would cause an uproar there. Isn’t he Mr. Texas? Of course, the comedy value of him running for President is a real thing, and every one should have a dream, but after being the loud mouth,
30lizard lookin’ Lothario of Texas isn’t he basically required to live there and continue to share his “wisdom” with you all? Don’t get mad, I am just asking.
Dear Elise from Ca, I hope you are blonde! We need all the convertible driving blonde California Elise’s to man the borders and keep these bozos out of our fair state!
31I know that blonde and brilliant ( think Wendy Davis) throws the old guard off–they don’t think you could have a brain,so that’s why we can stop them…we don’t need any more good hair actors in the state, Reagan just about destroyed it and Arnold almost finished it off. Perry ( Hollywood cowboy) is a type that we have suffered from having around for Far too long! Please keep him in Texas–
If they had been in Texas, Perry would have said all that with a ham sandwich in one hand and a milkshake in the other.
32On a little video piece on Texas Country Reporter last weekend Bob Phillips interviewed Rick Perry, walking thru the Texas State Cemetery, which inters several former Governors and other illustrious Texans. pRick talked about how he visited the cemetery several times a month, used it as a place to contemplate, (his bellybutton, I guess) and that he, too, will be buried there. How it was one of his favorite places in the state. Rick Perry is so full of sh****tttt his eyes are brown.
33Hey, Elise Von H: YES I am blonde! The few GOP Cons I run across in CA think I will be a pushover adoringly listening to their wacky worldview.
Do they ever get a shock when this Palm League grad counters their talking points! They are left speechless!!
You are right–we need to continue to protect CA.
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