Because East Texas is So Damn Entertaining
You know, there ought to be a law against ripping off consumers.
Police in East Texas have arrested a woman after she called them to complain about the quality of the marijuana she had purchased from a dealer.
Lufkin police Sgt. David Casper said Monday that an officer went to the home of 37-year-old Evelyn Hamilton to hear her complaint that the dealer refused to return her money after she objected that the drug was substandard.
Well, who the hell did you expect her to call? Eric Holder?
But how you know this could only happen in Texas is —
Casper says she pulled the small amount of marijuana from her bra when the officer asked if she still had it.
In Texas, your bra is your storage facility when you do not wish to carry a purse. Lipstick, money, a candy bar, some Tums, a cell phone, and vast amounts of etc. go in your bra. I have made actual clanking sounds when removing my bra in the evening.
I know you people from Ohio or Nebraska are asking, “But doesn’t that mean there’s bulges in your upper regions?” Well, duh. That’s the whole point. We don’t need no damn plastic surgery. And if some fool man complains when you take off your bra, give him the damn candy bar. That’ll shut him up.
Thanks to Ted for the heads up.
Heh…..there’s stoooopid, and then there’s realllllllllllly stooooooooopid!
1Laughing out loud.
2Evelyn was just seeking a little consumer protection, while stuck on stupid. The really st00pid is reserved for gohmert st00pid, the apex of st00pid. The leading candidate this week for that dubious distinction is pRick Perry.
3Isn’t it time the water in East Texas was tested? That’s the only explanation I’ve got for what goes on there.
4This is either a “you pays your money, and you takes your chances” situation……
Or….. you paid for high dollar pot…. and didn’t get it…. situation.
Either way…… I doubt her dealer expected her to rat him/her out…..
But…. in Lufkin…….. you never know. Could be an either/or.
5Oh, I can understand how y’all feel about this, but my mama had a special bra with pockets hidden in it. This was wayyyy before street drugs lalapalooza. She wore this when we traveled. Extra cash went in there and maybe a very, very small envelope with some aspirin or whatever. The whatever included a spare house key in case she lost the real one while away from home. Heck, she even used this bra when she went shopping downtown. And, no, she did not look one bit different when she came back! So Evelyn ain’t all that unique. Bizarre as hell, maybe, but not unique!
6Despite wanting to comment on this story, I can think of nothing to write.
7Uncle Dave? Jealous, much?
8Now that the world knows we women squirrel things away in our bras, nothing is safe!
9Hey, hoopie holders can hold more than hoopies so why not make good use of them? And no one said that a person thinks better when smokin low grade pot.
10So, did they arrent her, or is Mary Jane legal in east Texas?
11Supposed to say arrest!
12I tried stashing my phone in my bra once but it just fell out when I leaned over. I think maybe some folks just aren’t meant to use bra stashes. Maybe Maggie’s mom had the best idea: a little bitty pocket.
13Maybe she just moved here from CO or WA y’all! At least this is a “Fun with Drugs” edition and not a “Fun w Guns” deal where some deluded dumbass got shot by her dealer! You know, law abiding pot smoker calls cops about getting shortchanged? She should have called the BBB! *snort*
14Maybe our former county executive had family in Texas, and that was why he told his wife on the phone that the FBI were on their way and she should hide that $80,000 cash bribe in her bra. She did her best but that’s a big wad of cash, even if you tuck it in all around the band instead of just in the cups…. (He’s on a little federal holiday for a while and so is she. Look up “Jack Johnson” and “bra” if you want to. The FBI’s plumber couldn’t find the $100,000 check he told her to flush.)
15PS I’m sorry to say they’re Democrats. I didn’t like him from the word Go and even voted for a relatively sane Republican woman rather than him. I didn’t think she could do a whole lot of Republican damage as a county exec. We have another Democrat in now and he’s doing much better. Or hasn’t got caught yet, one of the two.
16I have made actual clanking sounds when removing my bra in the evening.
Still laughing, JJ.
17Still laughing.
“She was arrested Friday on a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia”
Well, heck – it was so substandard they couldn’t even charge her with possession of it, just the drug accessories.
18I am insufficiently lacking in endowment to hide anything in my bra. Sigh!
19austinhatlady, with the approval of my wife, I can honestly say, you don’t need some GOP Neanderthal to speak to your storage capacity. We liberal, progressive green guys respect your intelligence. If we wanted storage space, we’d be attracted to the appalling likes of Bachmann, Palin and that TX whack job Kesha, pretend democrat, Lyndon La Crazy, Rogers and the infinite space available in their heads.
Give me a good strong woman to share morning coffee and a brilliant reason to chat in the morning. Or, all day, as we do at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. As JJ would say, your ta-tas should not be taxed and I will say, your contributions are respected.
20“Our ta tas should not be taxed.” Now THERE’S an idea for bumper stickers or T shirts. I feel sorry for folks who don’t ever hang out here.
21Dear Marge I second that with the bullhorn!! Visiting here and reading what all you funny and talented people have to say is one of the joys of my life – and helps me retain my sanity too, such as it is!!
22As Colbert said last night, it sounds like that weed was fine.
23I betcha we could do a good fund raiser with OUR TATAS SHOULD NOT BE TAXED on coffee mugs.
24My mother, of blessed memory, used to stash tissues between her tatas. Just tissues.
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