Barry Smitherman: Living Proof That Texas Has a Deep Bench of Crazy

November 12, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I hardly know where to start.

Barry Smitherman was a Rick Perry discovery.  Perry appointed him to the Public Utility Commission and from there to the Texas Railroad Commission which regulates not railroads, but oil and gas.   We suspect that Perry thought the Railroad Commission Chairman drove the trains and blew the whistles.  And, to be honest, Smitherman is perfectly qualified for that job.  Oil and gas, not so much

barry-smitherman_jpg_800x1000_q100Now Barry is running for Texas Attorney General.  If you go to his website, you are greeted with an angry black man who wants to take away your freedom.

He says he’s sued Obama seven times.  What he doesn’t say is how many time he’s lost.  That would be seven.

But that’s just the basement.  Barry has built himself a whole tower of ignorance.

Barry believes, and strongly announces, that aborted fetuses would have voted Republican.  Since polling data was unavailable at press time, Barry offers this evidence.

“What we’ve seen in our state is that Republicans are more pro-life than Democrats. Let’s hypothetically ask an unborn child: ‘Here’s the Republican position on life, here’s the Democrat. If you’re born, which way would you vote?'” Smitherman told The Associated Press in a recent interview.

“I think they vote Republican,” he added. “To me it was pretty simple.”

Then he defended a group called “Crusaders for Yahweh” when complaining that the Southern Poverty Law Center’s materials should not be used in Texas classrooms when discussing To Kill a Mockingbird.  Of course, Crusaders for Yahweh is a well documented racist group.  Barry says he didn’t know that, which is not surprising considering the list of things Barry doesn’t know.

Barry doesn’t believe in climate change.  And he has proof, dammit.

“Climate change is, in my estimation, not an issue associated with co2 and greenhouse gasses,” he said, referring to carbon dioxide emissions.

Meanwhile, Smitherman’s ready with a comeback for critics who blame climate change for Superstorm Sandy and other recent weather catastrophes.

“You’re talking to a guy from the Texas Gulf Coast where we get hurricanes a lot,” Smitherman said. “But, if you’ve noticed, we’ve not had a bad storm in the last couple of years.”

So there’s that.  No hurricanes in Barry’s backyard in Austin, no problem.

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 9.20.33 AMHe also retweeted a list of U.S. Senate Republicans who voted for an ultimately unsuccessful federal gun control bill next to the word “Treason” and a noose.

He now says he didn’t see the noose. No kidding, he said that.  Didn’t see it. Slipped his eye site.  Click the little one to see the big one and make a note somewhere of the first thing you see.

And he gleefully announced that if the United States collapses, Texas can survive on its own.  Just ask the fetuses.

Thanks to Maggie for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Barry Smitherman: Living Proof That Texas Has a Deep Bench of Crazy”


  1. Is he positive that those fetuses would vote Republican? After they are born, a lot of them would have inferior healthcare, inferior education and a scarcity of food – all because of Republican policies. Fetuses don’t get to vote until they are of age – and by that time, I think they would be voting Democrat.

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  2. daChipster says:

    Cheryl took the words right out off my mouth! Right on, sister!

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  3. Cheryl, you nailed it. Eighteen years is a lot of time to make up your mind. Though, if Republicans were to remain in charge, they would try to make sure they never vote at all.

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  4. However, if they did survive and thrive and managed to get overeducated they would vote Democratic.(According to Karl Rove as people get educated they tend to vote Republican until they get more education and then vote Democratic.)

    Thus the plans for poor education.

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  5. “To me it was pretty simple.”

    I suspect to him, most things are.

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  6. Barry, the Chairman of the Bushwah Committee!! I leave it to all and any of you to translate what Bushwah really is.

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  7. Lord, I know you can’t let me in because it wouldn’t be fair to the folks already in there, but I’ve been a reasonably good guy, so can I just sit outside the Pearly Gates? Just to see the looks on the faces of people like Barry Smitherman when your Truth smacks ’em between the eyes would be Heaven enough for me.

    That and some chex mix.

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  8. Wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross . . . .

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  9. Oh, but the poor diet affects mental development. Figure it out.

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  10. Had to say this. Can’t you just IMAGINE Texas on its own? All they (sorry, I don’t identify with this crowd) need is a big bag of pinto beans, a big bag of rice, some guns and some water, and a place to grow greens and raise their hogs. I’m not even going inside the house. You can imagine it.
    I should be fair and say, I’d hang out with the ones who make flour from mesquite beans and who use yucca plants for shampoo. THEY have some smarts.

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  11. e platypus onion says:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/25/perry-2012-donations-children_n_1030771.html

    This is funny. Smitherman’s middle school aged daughter donated 2500 bucks to Perry’s gub campaign in 2012. His son,a junior in high school,donated 1000 bucks.

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  12. If his name is Barry, can we insult him by calling him Barack? Can we pronounce his middle name “Thomas” in a way that’s derogatory?

    Just spit ballin’ here.

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  13. Rick Perry. Barry Smitherman.
    I really used to like A&M.

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  14. e platypus onion says:

    A fetus is like a puppy or kitten-rethuglican until it opens it’s eyes.

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  15. What Mr . Smitherman fails to realize, is the difference in “having a brain”, and using said brain…… to think.

    People with “brains” who don’t think…. vote Republican.

    People who think……. vote Democratic.

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  16. I really love hanging around the salon Ms. JJ but I’m having a hard time enjoying even your humor and that of other salonistas in the face of nooses in political ads and large guns aimed at family restaurants.
    Seriously. This **** is getting scary.

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  17. @Miemaw: Your post reminds me of the line attributed to Mark Twain, “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”
    Thus, Republicans, who do not use their brains have no advantage over Rick Perry, who seemingly has no brains.

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  18. Love the fetus. Hate the child. Hang the adult.

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  19. The fetuses would vote Republican….

    I’m trying to scrape from my mind’s eye a vision of Texas on election day when you have to haul in all kinds of documents to prove you can vote, but the fetuses get a pass, and those little stick arms are poking out toward the voting levers….

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  20. e platypus onion says:

    Marge Wood-I grew up on pinto beans (Friday night staple),I love pinto beans to this day. Pinto beans are my friends. Nutbaggers,you’re no pinto beans. Toss in a smoked ham shank and corn bread and I will gladly spend eternity in Hades gassing nutbags.

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