Armageddon Oilfields
In 2010 a guy named Victor Carrillo ran for re-election to the Texas Railroad Commission and lost in the Republican primary. He blamed the loss on a built-in bias against Hispanic surnames in the Republican party. Hey, it’s his party, not mine.
But now he says that it was all God’s plan because … you might want to take a deep breath here before you read on … it’s his duty to bring about the second coming of Jesus by finding oil in Israel though Zion Oil company.
Zion’s ultimate purpose is to hasten the second coming of Jesus Christ. Citing Genesis and Deuteronomy and biblical promises of treasure buried deep, Carrillo and other Zion officials say discovering oil in Israel would be another sign of the imminent return of the Christian Messiah.
I’m telling you. The end of the world is not only their goal, it’s their damn duty. They cannot wait to see Jesus throw you into lakes of fire.
Despite the weight of biblical imperative, Carrillo and Zion also face the unavoidable reality that, while smaller oil fields have been found, no especially rich deposits have been discovered in the Promised Land.
Calling on a passage that promises “blessings of the deep” and on a hopscotch of geographic clues dotting the Bible, Zion is the latest in a series of companies and individuals that have enticed investors with the promise of biblically oriented oil profits.
Zion, which has focused exclusively on drilling in Israel, also has worked to inspire the biblically minded to invest — raising money through stock offerings to pay salaries, office leases and drilling costs.
You gotta kinda admire Christian Republicans – they never stop dreaming up ways to take people’s money. Remind me again about Jesus and the moneychangers in the temple.
Yeah, I read that one too. Great fiction material. He can use that to dredge up votes. Listen, I am worried about the elections. I’m sure you are too so….
1Who knew? Among the many tales in the Buybull, there are hidden treasure maps.
Considering Bibi’s short temper with the Palestinians, it’s doubtful he’ll welcome these idiots in their quest for treasure as they dig up phone lines and natural gas lines.
That current mutually symbiotic relationship between Israelis and Dominionists is doomed. “Convert for the Rapture” is certain to anger more than a few in the Kibbutz.
2Drumpf Hitler
That’s a pretty sad statement of what you think about your spouse. “Well he’s NOT Hitler.” He’s more like … Stalin? Ho Chi Minh? Suharto? Saddam? one of the Assads? one of the Sauds?
3If anyone’s going to make money on oil in Israel, it’s going to be Israelis, not a bunch of rag-tag Christian Zionist Jesus-summoning wannabes. Anyone who doesn’t understand that doesn’t understand how politics and business actually function in Israel.
41. Melania Trump is from eastern Europe so names like Hitler et al. don’t really throw her off stride.
52. I did hear some time ago that there actually is one big lake of oil under a part of Israel. It took some time to find it but apparently it is there and various people have been trying to convince drilling companies to go for it. I have a feeling the drillers have been a bit slow ion this cuz that area is known for long range snipers with political agendas.
Victor Carrillo wants to plan, develop, then implement an action that will will bring about the end of the world?
And he probably thinks all Muslims are terrorists too.
6Well, the Israelis are trying to steal the gas fields off the coast of Gaza, largely on the grounds that if they kill everyone in Gaza there won’t be anyone to contest their theft.
7Huckleberry Finn was informally adopted by two kindly ignorant Christian sisters who did their best to make Huck eligible for Heaven. When Huck learned from them that Heaven consisted of sitting on a cloud, playing a harp, and singing forever and ever, he asked if Tom Sawyer was going there.
They replied that it was likely Tom Sawyer was going “to the other place.” Huck’s thought is, “That’s good because I’d like him and me to be together.”
8Continuing the list started by Micr:
Larry? Moe? Shemp?
9So do they actually believe this hooha or are they *just* out to strip fools of their savings? And does it matter which?
10What do they expect to do? Buy their way into heaven?
11I mean geez, invest all your money into a venture to bring about the end of the world,where is the pay off unless it is to buy your way into heaven.
The EOTW can’t come to soon for those people, as long as they let the rest of us be in peace.
12Where’s the popcorn? Actually, Rhea, I think you have put your dainty finger on the trigger for this whole scenario. Anyone want to count the eager souls lining up to make a mint from “Biblical prophecy”? I’m looking forward to watching all this unfold from my ringside seat here at Juanita’s.
13Rhea, what they believe in is making money. The primary right wing value is short term profit for a favored few. Second is people’s naughty bits.
14ZOC it to me!…oh, wait…ZOC it to them ‘investors’!
ZOC stock and bond (IRA) offerings are probably targeted at ‘simple folk’ in bibble-thumping churches and revivals.
15P. T. was right, there are suckers spawned every minute. Fleece ’em blind, Victor. So many cons, so little time.
I think it’s in the apocryphal book, Bel and the Dragon. When the dragon whips it’s tail against the ground, oil spurts up. And the dragon’s fiery breath is gas flaring. It’s in the cat-lik bible. Really.
16It never ceases to amaze me how certain Kristians* think that they can manipulate the all-knowing, all-powerful being they claim to worship (as opposed to the cash that they really worship): “Gee, if I strike oil in Israel, I can force Christ to do that Second Coming thing…”
*Kristians are fake Christians, as they don’t show any tendency to follow Christ’s teachings.
17RepubAnon, my thoughts exactly. Would an all-knowing, all-seeing God allow herownself to be manipulated by such fools? That just doesn’t make sense.
18RepubAnon and june, that was my first thought too. What kind of god is that easy to manipulate? Not much of a god I would say.
19“…to inspire the biblically minded to invest – raising money through stock offerings to pay salaries…”
And good salaries, too! Victor has been pulling in $450 fat-ones for the past five years despite having never found oil.
Oh, well. When you Biblically invest in a company founded by a reformed alcoholic who can’t wait to be Raptured, ‘ya gotta’ expect a low ROI.
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