The creepy Attorney General of Texas, Greg Abbott, has ruled that the Texas taxpayers have no right to see how much of our money is being spent to provide protection for Rick Perry while he scampers around the country trying to be President.

“For security reasons” (please shake your head knowingly here), Texans cannot be given a dollar figure because then some bad guy might figure out … I dunno, how much money we’re spending to protect Perry’s butt … and then the terrorists win.  You know, because they hate our freedom.  But apparently not our freedom of information.

Texans will not be allowed to see how much we had to spend to protect Rick Perry’s political ambitions until after the 2012 Presidential election.  Cute, huh?

However, the San Antonio newspaper was able to obtain six months of numbers prior to Abbott slamming the books shut last July.  In a very creepy fashion, I might add.

AUSTIN — At a time when state budget reductions were used to help offset a multibillion-dollar revenue shortfall, taxpayers were billed for more than $294,000 in security detail expenses for out-of-state trips by Gov. Rick Perry or his wife, according to records released by the Texas Department of Public Safety.

Destinations included the Bahamas in January for a family vacation and trips to Amsterdam, Madrid and New York by Anita Perry alone — visits that Perry spokeswoman Allison Castle said were for economic development.

Rick Perry traveled to locales including New York, Washington, California and Las Vegas for events such as promotion of his anti-Washington book, “Fed Up!” He also made speeches and attended to duties related to his then-chairmanship of the Republican Governors Association, along with meetings with business leaders or potential supporters for his presidential bid.

Now, I know that some people would argue that Perry’s campaign should be paying these security expenses.

But, here’s the bigger question:  what’s the deal with Chuck Norris?  Did he break his leg or something or did Christie Brinkley tangle him up in one of those exercise machines and he can’t get loose?

Chuck Norris and Rick Perry are supposed to be like BFF’s.  Truly, if they touched each other even one little tad more often, they’d have to move to San Francisco.  That’s the law in Texas, look it up.  You could not separate those two guys with a crowbar and Ronco Electrolux Separator Machine.

So, why can’t Chuck Norris provide security for Rick Perry?

I mean, it seems to me that if Rick Perry is running for President as the tough guy, he would not need a third of a million dollar protection in just a couple of months.

And if Chuck Norris is such a tough guy, why can’t he prove it?

Answer me that, would ya?

Thanks to Corrine for the heads-up on the numbers and the good people at The Wacky Deli for the great pictures, which I found this morning by searching Rick Perry and Chuck Norris, not hoping to get anything near that cool.