Anybody Want To Pitch In and Buy Texas Government?

January 05, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, our new Governor already has his hand out.  For a mere $100,000 you can be a sponsor at the Governor’s Inauguration.

220px-Abbott_(cropped)Take a glimpse right here of other “opportunities” to show your respect.

Yeah, but for $100,000 you get signs at all the events, front row VIP seats, dinner on the grounds of the capitol, tickets to the Texas Ball, and your picture made with the Governor and the Lt. Governor.  For $150,000 you get to shower with them, too.

Okay, so I made up that last part.  You can shower with them for free.

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0 Comments to “Anybody Want To Pitch In and Buy Texas Government?”


  1. If I donate a million dollars do I get to be governor?

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  2. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Dear goddess, no. Just no, Mrs. B. Even if they are offering to pay the entire table take, no showers with them. Water conservation is great, but I have my limits.

    It’s five o’clock in Texas, just might need to borrow your time to pour a liberal glass of something to ease the pain of the thought.

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  3. Can I sponsor the men’s bathroom for five bucks? My alma mater actually did this. You could buy naming rights to different parts to the stadium. The umpire’s lockerroom went for 100 bucks. Maybe they can barter off the Capitol.

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  4. it’s about time they openly privatized the Governor’s office and gave the Free Market a chance.
    Honestly they tried but Democracy just doesn’t work in Texas. All they keep getting in office are those Conservative kooks.

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  5. No amount of antibacterial soap could cleanse those boys.

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  6. Man, Juanita you gotta warn me about these first. No amount of Prilosac is going to quell my acid reflux now!

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  7. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    maryelle, here in the high desert we don’t use chemicals or apply leeches for cleansing. It’s far more effective to tie the varmints to a cactus and let fire ants do the cleansing; or, so they say in history books.

    Texas; just wow. You could have had Wendy Davis and Leticia Van de Putte lead you into the 21st century. Instead you have Cabbage and Putrid stinking up your capitol.

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  8. Well, we’ve had fun here in the DC area with our county executive who called his wife to tell her the FBI was on the way and could she please flush that $100,000 check and stuff the $60,000 cash in her bra? They’re both in jail. And the Virginia ex-governor who took a leetle too much money from a supporter whose products he promoted and is now waiting to be sentenced (while his daughters claim it was all their mom’s fault because she was mentally ill, and they were just going to wait until daddy was out of office to do anything about that, and we should just put up a statue to that poor man– anybody heard of an Electra Complex?).

    This looks a little blatant even by our standards.

    At least they say it’s not tax-deductible, har har.

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  9. Aggieland Liz says:

    Eeeeewwwww JUANITA! I don’t want to think about those two numbskulls showering by themselves much less myownself somehow involved in ANY way – even cleaning said shower afterwards!! There aren’t enough wetsuits in the world (picture the Michelin man only it’s little Lizzie encased in 852 wetsuits and screaming for more suits please cuz this is NOT ENOUGH NO WAY!!!)

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  10. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    I wonder how it works when a PAC chips in with 100K of spare change: do they get a group photo with the Gov or does each individual contributor have to pay his/her own way?

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  11. Marge Wood says:

    Huh.

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  12. I saw a list of major contributors to Oklahoma’s governor Mary Fallin’s inaugural activities. Maybe you could get this list for his donors and keep score through the next year or so of how much state spending they get for their investment. Probably plenty. I’m sure she’s already contributed to them through lowering the state income tax for the top bracket.

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  13. So how much donation do you have to pony up to write the laws that impact your business or industry and have the Lege pass ’em and the Gov sign ’em?

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  14. We know WHAT they are. We’re just hagglin’ over the price.

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  15. How much do I have to pay in order to stay away from these guys entirely?

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  16. You see, my -8 degrees right now is mighty fine.
    I don’t have that jack… as a governor!

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  17. Best Guvmint money can buy.

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  18. Fred Farklestone says:

    Just think how a bunch of radical liberals, with cash to spare could cause a lot of fun, at the swearing-in?

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  19. Does the $150,000 include the money in the shower, or do I have to provide that too?

    I presume this would be a money shower, because there’s not enough water — or bleach or lye or muriatic acid — in the world to get any of these crooks clean.

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  20. I’m more concerned with just how much flippin’ money do you need to throw an inaugural shinding? Hell, this is Texas, let’s get catering from Stubbs and get a park and tell folks to bring their own chairs. Let’s go for the low-cost options. No need for nothing fancy–especially not for these bozos.

    I really wish we could “tax” campaign or other $$ political functions so that some of the funds actually went into running the government, which almost always is struggling for budget.

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  21. Marge Wood says:

    I had this idea. Somebody (not me) pass the hat and come up with at least enough to show up at the door. Have your ticket in your hand and go to the door looking like Jed Clampett. Don’t you think that would be fun? Trouble is, it would take lots of hat passing and not sure they’d let you in even with a real live ticket. But it’s fun to imagine. Ooh, someone make a farcical movie of that.

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  22. Miss Prissybritches says:

    Here we go! Best government money can buy. ugh

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