Another Existential Threat to Democracy…Averted!
by daChipster
Bullslingers, Entirely Negated, Greatly Hatefully Aggravated, Zero Intelligence
What’s that spell?
It spells yet another round of spasmodic Right Wing Nutjobs waxing apoplectic over the latest in a long series of GOP Benghazi investigations turning up plenty o’ NUTTIN! What to do, what to do?
Well, if you’re Miz Lindsey Graham, Senator (R–Vapors, SC) you clutch a damp hanky to your décolletage, lay the back of your hand against your forehead and gasp, in a tremulous voice, “I think the report is full of crap…That’s a bunch of garbage. That’s a complete bunch of garbage.”
All the while searching with your buttocks for the fainting couch.
Meanwhile, even the GOP-controlled House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence which, ironically, features members like Peter King, Chairman Mike Rogers, and the below-mentioned Michele Bachmann, had to admit in its “garbage” report that, when it comes to Benghazi, there’s no THERE there.
No conspiracy? No cover-up? NO PROBLEM for Miz Lindsey and friends! So long as there is no evidence of a conspiracy or a cover-up, then clearly the cover-up conspiracy is WORKING!
Yes, with actual problems facing our country, I’m sure Miz Lindsay is correct in placing yet another investigation of the Benghazi “cover-up” at the very top of his list, no matter that there was no “there” there. At least he’s quit moaning about a birth certificate (I hope). Do you suppose he’ll be any happier with a woman president than with a black one? He needs to keep the smelling salts handy.
1Little Lindsey has been pouting, since he was a member of the Air Force Judge Advocate. Imagine his chagrin, when he discovered the elaborate Ladies Rooms in Officer’s Clubs complete with couches. Thus began his quest for a fainting couch wherever he goes.
2Miz lindsey had mention before the election she might run for POTUS. Today Grampa McCain say he was support her for President of the US.
3But there HAS to be some sort of “there” there. If there isn’t then Senator Graham (not to be confused with former Senator Gramm) would have to acknowledge that he isn’t right — kind of like the time on Happy Days when Fonzie was in the same situation and he stammered out “I must have been wr.. wro.. wr.. MISTAKEN!”
And if Senator Graham isn’t right on this then maybe there are other places where facts clearly indicate that he and his “right” buddies are mistaken about the economy, about Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and all the other “stans” (except Kowalski).
4Thanks, da Chipster, for keeping the Salon open.
5Maybe the ninth investigation will end differently. Tentatively scheduled to last between now and the 2016 Potus election with the focus clearly on Hillary’s part in Obama being a durned furriner and black.
6What gets me is, let’s say Obama is the evil Indonesian Candidate, born in Africa, trained in Indonesia, embedded in Kansas, redeployed to Chicago, whence to engineer his government takeover, which includes the climate hoax, death panels, the Benghazi conspiracy, all that gay, stealing two elections, and legalizing pot all while simultaneously appearing to be President Clouseau…
Then why are guys like Ted Cruz, Miz Lindsey, and Tony Scalia still alive? Shouldn’t a completely undetectable poison have found its way into their tea by now, if he is everything they say he is? Or Clarence Uncle Thomas… by this point, wouldn’t someone have put a poisoned pubic hair on his Coke?
I mean, what’s the point of being an African Indonesian Muslim Marxist Communist Socialist Fascist gay weed-smoking dictator (Our Dear Weeder?) if you can’t take out a few of the bastids along the way.
7You forgot that the president is not only all of those things, he is incompetent and had to affirmative action his way into Columbia College and Harvard Law School. I’m sure he TRIED to knock off a few of his opponents, but failed miserably due to his shuffling incompetence.
8The Republican’t Conspiracy Club, of which Graham is a charter member, knows not how to govern nor to lead. Their self-importance stems from jumping from one investigation after another (see “Issa”) with little regard for the consequences.
9Their self-fulfilling prophesy must be proven true if it takes every last bit of time and money our taxes provide. Just how long are average Americans going to put up with this politicrap?
Frankly mah dear, Ah don’t give a damn about what that lil’ ol’ report on Bengazi says. -Miz Lindsey Graham
(as spoken by Scarlett O’Hara in a temporary role reversal with Rhett Butler)
10I am open to correction, but it seems to me that the GOP revulsion with reality started during the reign of Saint Ronnie in the 1980s. Since then the GOP motto has been, “Reality is whatever we say it is, and we’ll scream you down if you keep bringing up those ugly facts.” Handy for imaginary Dem scandals, stifling GOP scandals, denying climate change, claiming that every girl or woman who wants an abortion is a slut, pretending that the Constitution is based on the Ten Commandments, and all sorts of other uses inimical to the health of the nation.
11Rhea, Ronnie was the poster boy for failing economics. The GOP impeachment snit began with Nixon, who resigned first rather than have all his dirty tricks reach the light of day. The Dems almost impeached one of theirs, so now the little pouters will threaten every Democratic president with impeachment before the sun sets on inauguration day.
Forget all about Dubya, the GOP will. But if HRC is elected, be ready for Vince Foster redux, bu-buh-Benghazi and all the GOP faux outrage. Democratic imaginary sins are forever, while GOP crimes disappear faster than money in a Pentagon account.
12In the 80s wingnuts screamed at Dems for micro-managing Raygun’s foreign policy. They,themselves,would never interfere with Clinton or Obama,perish the thought.
Bush/Cheney set the world on fire and now wingnuts are throwing every obstacle at Obama’s attempts to put out the fires. But then,we all know what wingnuts are capable of doing to hurt America and then lie about it.
13PKM-Nixon’s impeachment talk was truly a bi-partisan effort lead by honorable wingnuts who knew Nixon had tarnished their party and by inference,America itself. No doubt Nixon would have been impeached and thrown out of office. Clinton’s partisan impeachment was payback for Nixon and numerous wingnuts admitted as much.
14e platypus onion, yes, Nixon was an embarrassment to sane Republicans, too. But the crazy ones have been hellbent on getting even for Nixon disgracing himself.
Clinton and now Obama fair game for impeachment without grounds. Reagan and Iran-Contra, GHW Bush and the CIA, Baby Bush and the Cheney lies were off the table. Why?
15It’s downright embarassing to see the 4th estate watchdogs acting like Juanita’s poodle (no offense intended to Truman who makes all the other poodles look like scared rabbits — and now I’m in trouble with Jeanie & other rabbit fanciers…maybe drop the animal references except to note the relationship between Saint Ronnie of the Hair Dye and a chimp named Bonzo).
16Speaking of having a there THERE, Austin has an interesting situation. Suddenly the city council races are along party lines. The Tea Party decided they needed someone on the Austin city council, so the Roves (yes, THOSE Roves) threw together a fancy fund raiser for a lady named Ellen. Ellen is sponsored by Americans for Prosperity, one of the doorways into the Koch bank account. She is trying to beat Ed Scruggs, a good guy and local Democrat who is smart about money but doesn’t have near as much of it as Ellen’s campaign does. Everyone is NOT talking about the details that will affect the city if the not hardly ever talked about huge new megachurch complete with bright lights and big bands and all the stuff needed (not) for the spiritual life is built there. Needless to say, the folks in that neighborhood aren’t exactly thrilled about it and are making a big stink about it. I know almost nothing about the whole issue, which has been going on for several years and it is why it reminded me of a there being there which the neighbors don’t want. Probably some of you know more about it. If you care about keeping the Tea Party out of Austin City Council, please look up the Ed Scruggs campaign for District 8 and go help do all the usual campaign stuff. Please? Nobody cares if you are bald or haVe green hair.
17Outdated bumper sticker: “Would somebody please b*** Bush so we can impeach him?”
18No more Bushes in the White House.
19PKM-most everyone knows sex is a misdemeanor-the more you miss,the meaner you get. That would explain wingnuts passion to impeach Clinton. He not only rubbed it in her face,he rubbed it in their face and they obviously liked it way too much,but had to pretend to be offended so the public wouldn’t see them for the hypocrites they rilly are.
20Note to editor-please erase didn’t in line 4 so I don’t look or sound any dumber than need be. Thank you. epo.
21YW, daC.
love the writing style !! it similar to one of my dorm roomies who had a elequent expression: no S*** dick tracy !!
22OK. Here’s how it went when I wuz young. Sororities had a core group of about 4 young women who could be counted on time and again for very special talents. One of them was known as the “fainter”, a drama queen if there ever was one. It was very handy to have a fainting couch somewhere nearby when she did her thing. The utmost dramatic shtick she ever did was to “faint” on a staircase and hopefully fall into the arms of young, handsome men. Biology aside, Miz Lindsey falls into this typecasting. The sorority sister with this talent is long forgotten. The sorority she belonged to is now packed with ambitious young women aiming for professional careers and they know intuitively that the last thing they need do to get them is faint. Point made.
23http://www.chron.com/news/local/article/Texan-s-truck-has-possibly-the-most-racist-decal-5829486.php
brung to you by the party of family values-Ted Bundy family values.
24Ms Lindsey never leaves home without this!
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Ny61VNGnL._SX300_.jpg
25Playtpus, it doesn’t make his truck look big; it makes his brain look tiny. And something else too.
26If Lindsey Graham would just drop the pretense that he is straight, step out of the closet and admit he is queerer than a three dollar bill, he might be able to relax his butt cheeks and chill. What an obnoxious reptile!
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