And This is Just Medium Crazzzy By Texas Standards

December 20, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

You need to meet Larry Kilgore.  Larry officially and legally changed his middle name to SECEDE so he could run for governor on the Republican ticket as Larry SECEDE Kilgore.

UnknownA plan so crazy it just might work.

I know you’re gonna think I’m making this stuff up but I am not.

Larry believes in the Bible.  His Bible says that homosexuals should be put to death.  But, there’s where the problems comes in –  he needs homosexual votes to win, so he’s willing to forgive them momentarily to get elected.  He explains it better than I can.

“I am a Christian, and I have lots of Christian beliefs. However, I am trying to build a coalition of all different types of people. I look at the lesbians and the homosexual folks and I say, ‘Hey, D.C. is stealing my money just like they’re stealing your money.’ After we get our freedom, then we can decide all that stuff — hopefully at a county level. Right now, lesbians and homosexuals and Christians may have differences with each other, but we’ve got a bigger enemy.”

Well hell yeah.  Better to let Larry kill you than to let Washington steal your money.  And I know homosexuals will feel so much better knowing they are being killed by county government rather than state government.  I mean, that right there is something worth fighting for.

But before you straight people get too cocky, Larry has some plans for you, too.

Asked what the punishment for homosexuality should be, Kilgore said, “According to the Bible, it should be execution, if anyone participates in that activity.” But he said the same for adulterers and women who have abortions.

I think he’s going for the group rate on executions.

 

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0 Comments to “And This is Just Medium Crazzzy By Texas Standards”


  1. So hep me! These guys are constantly getting closer and closer all the time to the platform of Hitler’s Nazi party that did their darndest to kill all the homsexuals and certainly the jews!

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  2. Ralph Wiggam says:

    How many LGBT people vote in the Republican Primary? It seems to me that he should pander to larger groups than gay Republicans.

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  3. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Loopy Larry takes “Give me liberty, or give me death!” to the extreme. Dude has more of the makings of a serial killer than those of a secessionist.

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  4. sailboatslave says:

    This passed across my computer screen recently and just cracked me up:
    “It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana are being legalized at the same time.
    Leviticus 20:13 says if a man lays with another man, he should be stoned.
    We were just misinterpreting it.”

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  5. He won’t have to worry about any competition for his campaign slogan:

    KILGORE, He’ll Work Twice As Hard for Texas
    Not just as Chief Executive
    But as your Executor in Chief as well

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  6. Sounds to me like he’s advocating Sharia Law.

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  7. Fred Farklestone says:

    I wonder what Larry would have to say about this quote from Mark Twain?

    “If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.”

    ― Mark Twain, Notebook

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  8. Marcia in CO says:

    Sailboat … I believe Leviticus has definitely been misinterpreted! Love it!! LOL

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  9. Braxton Braggart says:

    Larry needs to take a couple of weeks off and go somewhere sunny and warm to unwind. The Italian Riviera is nice. Probably ought to take a Miami rent boy along to carry the luggage, just in case.

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  10. After we get our freedom (i.e., power), then we can decide all that stuff (i.e., I’ll get to you people then.)

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  11. The overlying theme of the rwnj’s is killing.
    Not just condemnation, but Death. The entire message of Christ was love, forgiveness, kindness. What makes these wackos think they can improve on what He said? Pride, arrogance and a pinch of psychosis.

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  12. Loopy Larry needs a “Bible Lesson” courtesy of The West Wing:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1-ip47WYWc

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  13. Marion (formerly known as MM) says:

    No gays, no adulterers and no abortions. I guess he doesn’t want the men’s vote or the women’s vote.

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  14. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Loopy Larry, aka Larry SECEDE Kilgore, closer to Leviticus than God, Kill-More. In his right hand he holds the New Testament next to his heart, for he is forgiven by his merciful God. While with his left hand he claws out passages of Leviticus from the Old Testament with which to smote the sinners he selects. Wonder if within his double standard, he can see his promotion of two gods. Or, goddesses. The goddess of mercy for him, while all others are ministered to by the goddess of granite as directed by Leviticus SECEDE Kill-More, once known as Loopy Larry.

    The Crusades with the Catholics were a lot more fun than what Larry plans for Texas.

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  15. june: Thanks for that link to the West Wing, my all-time favorite show. There were additional videos from The Newsroom on the subject. Boy can Aaron Sorkin put words together!

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  16. Corinne Sabo says:

    He is mis-readng the Bible.

    Is his campaign slogan “Elect me and I will have you put to death”?

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  17. Marge Wood says:

    Larry Kilgore is creepy and scary. I don’t think he went to seminary, either.

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  18. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Loony Larry can be expected to “star” in one of Juanita Jean’s Fun with Guns episodes. His will be Big Crazy guns with both barrels blazing. Holy smoking gohmerts, Larry is dumber than Palin, Duck Dynasty and the entire float of Tea Bag crazies.

    When Ted Cruz suddenly looks like a centrist, we know the loony clown cart has ripped around the bend from insane to freaking dangerous.

    Reminder to self, up the donation to the SPLC this year.

    Medium Crazy, Juanita Jean? On that I must respectfully disagree. This dude is a chromosome or some sort of spermicide below any pile of gohmerts.

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  19. I guess God was just kidding about that “Thou shalt not kill” thing…

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  20. Yes, he’s actually *almost* saying “Vote for me so I can arrange to have you killed.”

    Polite Kool Marxist: No, Ted Cruz does not look like a centrist. At all. In any way. The entire train is running off the right cliff, and there’s not a centrist among them…and of course it’s dangerous, it’s been dangerous for years.

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  21. yet another baby boomer says:

    Hooo-ley Moley!!!! I know the term is trite but really this guy is not only bat**** crazy, he’s a whole ‘mother level of bat**** crazy. Wow, wow, wow. Scarier than Cruz and all the rest of the tea-p’ers is a very bad place to be. Jeez, I hope I can get to sleep tonight. (shiver)

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  22. Another gohmerting “Christian” who hasn’t read his Bible, sigh. Jesus never says word one about homosexuals. He did, however, say that anyone who marries a divorced woman is committing adultery, so I guess this gohmert would execute Ron & Nancy Reagan along with a whole lot of other people.

    June, thanks for the reminder of that West Wing clip. I needed it to wash the gohmert out of my brain after reading this load.

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  23. Sounds like a Byron Looper wannabe: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Byron_Looper

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  24. Chloe Bear says:

    I wonder if Mr. Kilgore has ever masturbated. My recollection is that the old testament is pretty tough on men who spill their seed upon the ground. I think Genesis 38:9 & 10 say, “Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also.”

    So Onan’s penalty was death. Perhaps that’s appropriate for Mr. Kilgore?

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  25. Oh, no, the weekend is here again, and I have to wait for more Juanita Jean until it’s over. I hate that! (It’s probably in the old testament too, so I can hate it freely.)

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  26. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Elizabeth, maybe we need to redefine “centrist” in Tea Bag lexicon or simply their crazy jargon. It might mean “no place left to go” for Ted Cruz. He thought he was driving the clown car. But as the car fills with even more crazy, he better fasten his seat belt and lock the door before the rearward pressure shoves him out. After the Tea Bags are done devouring moderate Republicans, look for them to go full out cannibal on their own.

    Toss out logical when it concerns the Tea Party. I won’t be surprised, if they go after Paul Ryan and Ted Cruz for being insufficiently crazy. Consider it the Law of Exploding Boundaries in the rush to the far right of reason.

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  27. I agree with Polite Kool Marxist @10:28 am.

    I think Repubs/conservatives/fundagelicals are pathologically crazy. It seems like nothing is ever conservative enough for them.

    What they never seem to get is: If everything is “too liberal” for you, then maybe the problem is you.

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  28. And if even the “Marxist” Pope is “too liberal” for you, the problem is definitely you.

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  29. Betty @ Georgetown says:

    “After we get our freedom, then we can decide all that stuff — hopefully at a county level.”
    Yes, they’ll decide “that stuff” at the county convention of the KKK.

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  30. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    I wish I was in the land of cotton,
    Old times there are not forgotten;
    Look away! Look away! Look away, Dixie’s Land!
    In Dixie’s Land where I was born in,
    Early on one frosty morning,
    Look away! Look away! Look away, Dixie’s Land!

    CHORUS:Then I wish I was in Dixie! Hooray! Hooray!
    In Dixie’s Land I’ll take my stand, to live and die in Dixie!
    Away! Away! Away down South in Dixie!
    Away! Away! Away down South in Dixie!

    Old Missus married “Will the Weaver”;
    William was a gay deceiver!
    Look away! Look away! Look away, Dixie’s Land!
    But when he put his arm around her,
    Smiled as fierce as a forty-pounder!
    Look away! Look away! Look away, Dixie’s Land!–CHORUS
    http://www.civilwarpoetry.org/confederate/songs/dixie.html

    Ruh roh, “William was a gay deceiver!”? From where I stand the old rebel yell looks a little unfit to be a Tea Bag rallying cry.

    As Everyday Freethought said @11:58 am, “It seems like nothing is ever conservative enough for them.”

    Loopy Larry is probably goggling pogroms and weeping at those wimps Lenin and Stalin. Holy Gohmerts! Adolph Hitler was a member of the German: Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (NSDAP); National Socialist German Workers Party. Where can a good Tea Bag find a true hero?

    Fun with Guns, Exploding Heads, no gun required edition.

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  31. Austinhatlady says:

    June, Maryelle, & Rhea, that scene is my all-time favorite scene, as well. I’m more than just a bit offended that this idiot wants to knock off some good friends of mine.

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  32. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Austinhatlady, friend or foe, Loopy Larry’s dodge around the many protections of the US Constitution are insane.

    Even for a self-proclaimed ‘Christian,’ he’s a little gohmerts on the 6th suggestion, Thou shalt not kill.

    Call me crazy, but #6 seems pretty clear.

    Watch your back, Ted Cruz, for real. These 2nd Amendment tools are taking no prisoners. Ted, you are toast, dude. In their minds you are the 3 Cs – Canadian, Communist and Cuban. Holy Gohmerts, run dude, if they discover your flesh tone is darker than the BTW Sane albinos need not apply with these not real whites.

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  33. Marge Wood says:

    While I’m waiting for the next goody to be passed out, I’ll mention today’s DOONESBURY. What’s this about the GOP doesn’t want teenagers to pre-register to vote?

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  34. It’s a sad, sad commentary on our Society when people like this run for office and actually get votes!!

    I live in TN, and I think it’s a close second to Texas in the politics department. We have all kinds of State Legislator’s that ran on Homophobia/fear of the other/hate.

    I really am disgusted by these people. I honestly don’t understand how so many people vote for these haters!!

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  35. So he has “lots of Christian beliefs?” If he’s a Christian, shouldn’t he have all of them? Even that one about not casting stones?

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