The University of Colorado, both at Colorado Springs and Boulder, are segregating their dorms.

Not by race, not even by gender, but by people who don’t feel complete without a firearm to make their weenus look bigger.

Yes, the University of Colorado is making kids with gun permits house themselves together in one spot so when they get drunk, stoned, or depressed, no innocent bystanders will be shot.

“The main dorms on the main campus will not allow any concealed-carry weapons,” CU-Boulder spokesman Bronson Hilliard said.

In addition, attendees at ticketed athletic and cultural events, such as football games and theater, on both campuses will not be permitted to bring their guns, officials said.

My theory is that this move will mean that college gun owners will get laid even less than the Dungeons and Dragons dorm.  They will spend the weekends in the dorm, alone, playing with their … uh, guns.

Needless to say, the gun lobby does not like this.  Putting them all in one dorm means that people in other dorms don’t feel the need to buy a gun to protect themselves from people with a gun, resulting in lower gun sales which is just totally unacceptable with all the well regulated militias in Colorado.

Kurt Mueller, director of strategy of Students for Concealed Carry, a national organization that advocates for legal concealed carry on college campuses, said the group has an issue with the CU change.

“We’re going to look into it further, but it’s not surprising that the campuses are trying to circumvent the Colorado Supreme Court ruling,” Mueller said.

No, Kurt, the ruling said that college kids can carry guns.  It did not say that we had to like them. Honey, I’d rather skin skunks with a dull knife than let my daughter live next to some damn kid with a gun.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.