Louisiana, home of Bourbon Street, has decided to crack down on floozy women.

And their starting place is Delhi Charter School in Delhi, Louisiana.  The school has decided that …

If an administrator or teacher suspects a student is pregnant, a parent conference will be held. The school reserves the right to require any female student to take a pregnancy test to confirm whether or not the suspected student is in fact pregnant. The school further reserves the right to refer the suspected student to a physician of its choice. If the test indicates that the student is pregnant, the student will not be permitted to attend classes on the campus of Delhi Charter School.

Any student who is suspected of being pregnant and who refuses to submit to a pregnancy test shall be treated as a pregnant student.

Not to be a grammar nut or anything, and this is certainly the most least of my thoughts about this stuff, but exactly what does the Delhi School mean by “suspected student?”  I mean, if they are there and going to class and registered and all, what suspicion is involved with the definition of student? Huummmm … let’s see, you show up every day, take the tests, your name is on the roll, you call me ma’am, you do the homework assignments, you eat in the cafeteria … I suspect you’re a student?

And why does that suspected student have to go to the doctor the school chooses?  Why can’t they go to their own doctor?

But, and I know this is just a minor, picky thing, WHAT the fool hellfire tarnation are they doing randomly testing females for being pregnant?  And then, kicking them out?  Are they also kicking out the suspected student who is the other half of this operation?

Now, I scampered over to the Delhi Charter School’s website, which is pretty sad and crappy because they spend all their time worrying about pregnant suspected students instead of taking care of business.  However, they do have a 216 page policy manual.  That’s right, they cover everything from that to this —

They offer sex education?  Really, now?  I’ll bet that’s the shortest 5 minutes in all of Louisiana.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.