Once again, Iowa demonstrated their schizophrenic divide between Republican Evangelicals and reality-based life forms. As gratifying as it was to see the Donald go down en flambé watching Cruz ooze his way through a victory speech – I could only watch because I quickly muted it until Hillary came on – nearly made my gorge rise.

That, and playing my own drinking game solo.

As for Hillary, what can we say? She became the first Clinton ever to win the Iowa Caucus. And it was a win, however narrow.   Iowa being half outside the space-time continuum – like Glocca Morra or Brigadoon – in 2012 Mitt Romney woke up the winner, Santorum actually won a few days later, but months into the future, Ron Paul actually got most of the delegates while no one was looking. With that as our template, Martin O’Malley will be able to swagger into the convention with Iowa in his pocket.

Nevertheless, for the purposes of our game, we are going with the outcomes as they now stand.

Cruz 27.7%, Trump 24.3, Rubio 23.1, Carson 9.3, Paul 4.5, Bush 2.8, Fiorina-Kasich-Huckabee-Christie just south of 2%, and your 2012 winner Santorum limps in as a rounding error, the wrong kind of 1-percenter.

Clinton 49.9%, Sanders 49.6% and O’Malley Oh-Point-Six.

Very few customers hit the Daily Double, much less the double trifecta. Folks in the running include

Scott Bidstrup: Cruz 54, Trump 51 (I adjusted for snark) and Hillary 51, Bernie 48

PDiddie: Cruz 26, Trump 23 Rubio 20, and Clinton 53, Bernie 47

Maria: Cruz 38, Trump 35, Rubio 26 and Clinton 54, Sanders 46

And so we congratulate PDiddie, pundit extraordinaire, as our winner! P, you have the admiration of your fellow salon customers, and here on February 2, you are crowned Political Groundhog of the Week. (Does the “P” stand for “Punxsatawney?”)

Study up for next week!

~Primo