.

…. John McCain.

As most of you have heard, we’re having a drought.  It’s a bad one.  Hell, half the cows in Texas are giving powered milk.  I heard it’s supposed to rain a little next week and they’re gonna let school out for it.

Since it’s as dry as Moses in the middle of the Red Sea, most of Arizona, New Mexico and West Texas are on fire.

John McCain says that the fires are being started by … come on, you know … not abortions …. not high taxes … not gun control … not gay marriage, but you’re getting close … there ya go!  Illegal immigrants.

U.S. Sen. John McCain is blaming illegal immigrants for starting some of the wildfires that have scorched hundreds of thousands of acres in Arizona.

“There is substantial evidence that some of these fires have been caused by people who have crossed our border illegally,” McCain, R-Arizona, said Saturday at a press conference. “The answer to that part of the problem is to get a secure border.”

McCain said that illegal immigrants set such fires either to send signals, keep warm or distract law enforcement agents. But he did not specify which fires allegedly had been started by illegal immigrants, nor did he identify his sources or provide details of the “substantial” evidence he cited.

Yes, sireee, we’re having a whole lot of trouble keeping warm right now.  Take Laredo, Texas, for example.  They have a cold front coming in on Wednesday —

And smoke signals?  Oh yeah, that’s what those ponchos are for, ya know.  Devious little devils, aren’t they?  And their favorite game is Light a Fire and Try to Outrun it.

I have a different take on this and it’s just a probable as John’s.  If you think about it, none of this was happening until Sarah Palin moved to Arizona.  And Sarah Palin wouldn’t have moved to Arizona if John McCain hadn’t made her famous.  So …. maybe all this is John McCain’s fault.