And The Guy Across The Street
The rightwing Washington Times posted a list of Bill Kistol’s 2016 list of possible Republican candidates.
Here ya go. Our friend John of the Great Graphics has added some snickering to the list.
John Bolton
Jeb Bush (Thanks, Texas.)
Ben Carson (Oooh, a black guy!)
Chris Christie (Hunka. Hunka. Literally.)
Ted Cruz (Thanks again, Texas.)
Carly Fiorina (A woman!)
Lindsey Graham (Another woman!)
Mike Huckabee
Bobby Jindal
John Kasich
Peter King
Mike Pence
Rick Perry (Now Texas, cut that out!)
Mitt Romney (The ghost of Christmas Past.)
Marco Rubio
Paul Ryan
Rick Santorum
Joe Scarborough (Uh, what?)
Scott Walker
Allen West (Another black guy!)
Dick Cheney (He hasn’t shot any friends in the face for a while now.)
Tom Cotton
Mitch Daniels (His bro Charlie had a band.)
Joni Ernst (Reputed woman.)
Newt Gingrich (Who already thinks he is Prez.)
Rudy Giuliani
I would like to add a far more qualified name to the list. Herb Appleby, the guy who lives across the street from me and is the Republican precinct chair. Herb’s older than Dick Cheney and almost as mean. You have to get off his lawn or he will holler at you. Herb still has the first nickel he ever earned and deeply suspects that we are running a Muslim undocumented worker abortion clinic at our house. Herb is as qualified as any of the people above and at least he’d keep the White House lawn neat and in order.
Thanks to John for the heads up.
It’s scary that someone probably on that list will get a whole lot of people convinced that he (let’s be real here) deserves to be President of the US. Of course Warren Harding did too, but it would be nice to think that we’ve moved on since then.
1Will Herb do a better job of keeping intruders off the White House Lawn then the Secret Service has?
2That’s 27 clowns all in a row! Pretty impressive list. But it still leaves 329,999,973 Americans more qualified to hold the office.
3I understand that Jeb, Romney, and Cruz have already made “i am going to run” noises, apparently jostling each other to get a good place in the big donors’ hand-out line.
4Supposedly, the GOP will limit the number of debates, thereby denying us the hilarious entertainment they provided in 2012. It won’t work. Those who seek the GOP nomination will have to pander to the true believers of the far right. A too early guess of who will prove the most entertaining: Cruz, Santorum, and Perry. Too bad that Chaney is unlikely to climb into the clown car.
5Where’s the half-term Tundra Princess?
Only a year ago, Bill “Always Wrong” Kristol was convinced she was the big thing for 2016. For that matter, where’s my white-bread ex-governor, Tim Pawlenty?
6So Billy (Mr. Wrongx1K) Kristol has now confirmed that the “Clowncar” has necessarily been superceded by the “Clown Winnebago”.
Maybe, although it might just take a RR freight car to haul that load of bullsh!t around.
7I’ve often seen the Barnum and Bailey circus train headed into San Antonio (usually passing on the McQueeny RR overpass, some time ago though), I’m sure they could tack a couple of extra large clowncars on the manifest. Sure would hate to be on the cleanup crew though.
Hey, where’s the caboose of this Clown Train, Mr Donald Trump himself?
8Old Mayfly, I wish I were a cartoonist. I’d do one of them jostling in line.
9Stick a fork in Bill Kristol, he’s done. He attained National Joke status some time ago, for never being correct about ANYTHING.
10There’s so many of them! Wouldn’t it be better if they recorded a benefit song for their own benefit? Something like:
We aren’t the world, we aren’t the children
11We are the ones who make ourselves a brighter day
So lets start giving
Ourselves a tax break we’re making
To save our own accounts
Its true we’ll make a better day
Just me and me
Will Fox News potentate, Roger Ailes, try to anoint the Republican nominee as he hoped to do in 2012? Then he tried to persuade Christie to make the race. His approach to Christie suggests that he would opt for a winnable candidate rather than insist on a candidate who professed the party line. But will his bevy of blondes be able to sell a “moderate” republican to the true believers who vote in GOP primaries in the southern states that are planning an early joint primary? Stay tuned, American!
12I still say Ricky is gunning for his own show on Fox Noise. It will be titled “The Three Things About….” and will only be two segments long.
13@SteveTheReturned–and yet, our “Librul Media” continues to give the National Joke a platform from which to spew.
14I’m gonna write in Charlie Manson. At least Charlie gets things done.
15I’m firmly convinced that no matter who gets the GOP nomination, that the convention location is going to have to be declared a Superfund site, simply to clean up the toxic waste that will be left behind. The GOP will take most of it with them when they start campaigning, but the rest needs to be taken out and burned.
16Add corpulent Christie as another Texxxxxan. No man is an island,but c.Christie comes close.
17Mittens Redux, while HRC alternates between fits of hysterical laughter and napping. (yawn)
If there is any energy to be expected in the 2016 races, HRC will be challenged from the left. Many speak of Jill Stein, Senators Sanders and Warren, but my favorite is a dark horse, Rich Whitney. Run, Rich, run, we need you buddy.
18No more “clown car”–they need a bus.
19What? No Tom Delay? Tsk!
20And if you add up the IQs of the list you still get less than 10.
21Mrs. B., that reads like who’s who list of people to expedite the rapture. Given the costs of election campaigns, maybe we can encourage Anonymous to hack their campaign chests to finance a special space shuttle to connect them with a passing comet.
22The PBS Newshour is on this now, they listed a few. Including Rand Paul and ? Patacky (nuther NY pol?).
So Billy (neverright) Kristol is wrong again, and JJ needs to update that prime clown list.
Hell, it oughtta be about time for Louie Gohmert to throw his double-insulated, extra fuzzy hat into the clown ring too.
Gawd I hope there is at least one ‘debate’ with all of these clowns in it. Yes, I know it would surely warp the space-time continuum irrevocably, and not in a good way.
23Having that much arrogance, stoopid, insanity, etc., etc., concentrated in one place might even reach critical mass, so let them have it in Aladamnbama or somewhere suitable (Jasper, Slidell, Biloxi, Bundy Ranch..?).
most of the list makes mitt ( yuk) look good.
24Sandridge, your points are all excellent!
But as for a location? Even Texas doesn’t deserve all that air consuming bullshit all at once. Surely we own some nice nuclear uninhabited island to sponsor a neutral free from brains bout.
25I just love that the Texas primary filing deadline is in December of 2015. That means that the State of Texas gets filing fees of $5000 each (let me do the math if 20 of the clowns file: 20 x 5000 = 100,000. For the first time in history rich white Republicans might actually pay for something in Texas.
And even though Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Nevada might winnow the “real” candidate list down, they’ll all still be on the Texas ballot on March 1st. Anyone want to wager how many cray cray Republican primary voters will vote for these bozos?
26That’s got to be the FBI’s Most Unwanted List.
27“Clown Winnebago” FTW!!
Gawd, what a platterful of rancid leftovers. I think that when presented with this list, Ms. Clinton will smile in quiet satisfaction and order herself a stylish but serviceable pair of ass-kickin’ pumps. No need to go with anything heavy duty; just something that will wear well.
28Sandridge, that would be “Pataki”, former governor of New York who was also one of those who just never got the memo. If former northeast guys are to be considered, throw in Corbett, late of Pennsylvania.
29Paul Ryan already said he is out, I don’t think he enjoyed the last one, look for him in 20 or 24
30They’ve got the start of a nice cult there.
31Can’t resist. Gotta change Sinator Ernst’s Barbie name to former KGB agent “Ivanna Kutzurnutzov”Barbie from iowa. Either way she still sucks.
32PKM @ 25-
We have a few former nuke test Pacific islands, the French have even more; but since they all seem to worship Putin nowadays, maybe one of the Siberian Russki former sites would be suitable? With a little luck a meteorite might land there whilst they’re bloviating and ‘Rapture’ ’em…
Boomette @ 28-
As long as Hilary’s boots have metal tips and are bullsh!t-proof to the knee…(sharp metal tips…).
maggie @ 29-
I knew it, just purposely mispelled it, aren’t they all? ;]
epo @ 32- too effen funnee…
Heard of another prime Rescummie candidate, don’t know how he’s been overlooked lately, he had been talked about before: former Gen. David Petraeus.
33He’s got all the R cred imaginable: Anglo, actual military vet, sordid personal life, exposed state secrets, plays lots of golf, slings some mean BS, short hair, cushy civilian job(s)… (not to bash him too hard, even Ike had feet of clay, or some anatomical part anyway)