And Now For a Sudden Burst of Damned If I Know
You know how when your 87 year old grandmother is in intensive care and the doctor comes out and says, “It’s in God’s hands?” Or hell, anytime a doctor says, “it’s in God’s hands?”
That means the doctor doesn’t know what else to do because she’s tried everything she knows and nothing worked.
Welcome to the crazy world of Republicans right now.
Mormons are afraid that mitt Romney is going to screw up the debates.
Mormon supporters of Mitt Romney are promoting a day of mass fasting and prayer to seek divine help for the Republican candidate in the debates.
The plan — which is not endorsed by the politically neutral Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — is laid out in an email inviting like-minded Mormons to fast on September 30th with the purpose of bringing God’s blessings to Romney as he heads into the presidential debates.
And since this is just 3 days before the debate, God has a very short time to decide what to do with Mitt during the debates: flip-flopping Romney or Lying Mitt? That’s a tough decision. I guess that’s why God has to make it. Lord knows Mitt can’t.
Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.
I should think theyre a bit late: ought to be at least “40 Days fo Mitt” like the 40 days for Life n now 40 days for ‘merica. Do those people really fast or do they just put up signs?
1The Mormon church is not neutral. Not now, not ever. They just want you to think that.
2What are the plans for the Teabanigelicals? Do they have another fast food joint in mind to protest? They have to keep up their energy level with carbs~or stupidity~or somethin’.
3Is a forced fast going to help the US in the long run? Because if Mittens wins all of us are going to go hungry for a long time…the drought is raising food prices, the Chinese selling oil based on their monetary system (!!) so oil prices will be really unstable—I don’t see good things even if President O is re-elected, and total disaster if it goes South…”Under the Banner of Heaven” it’ll be hell for everyone!
4Jewish people around the world just spent the Yom Kippur holiday fasting for one day while contemplating their sins during the past year and seeking forgiveness. With that in mind, and in a sense of good sportsmanship, I have a suggestion for the Mormons who will be fasting for Mitt Romney on September 30th. Given the enormous number of lies that have passed Mr. Romney’s lips and that have been perpetrated by his campaign, the fast should be extended to at least the debate on October 4th.
In an ironic twist the Romney campaign announced today, “Mitt Romney plans to turn himself into a one-man truth squad during the first presidential debate next week, casting President Barack Obama as someone who can’t be trusted to stick to the facts or keep his promises. …” One wonders if Mr. Romney, in a Superman-like transformation, will enter the debate stage from a phone booth?
5With a cape! Wearing the magic underwear!! Oh Lord I’m dyin, I’m dyin!!
6A man is walking along the beach and he trips on a magic lamp, he polishes it off and a genie comes out.
“I will grant you one wish” says the genie.
The man thinks for a while and he finally says, “You know, I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I’ve been too scared to fly on a plane, and boats always make me seasick, so I want you to make a bridge to Hawaii.”
The genie replies, “Are You Crazy!?!? That would be almost impossible, do you know how deep the ocean is, that would be such a long drive, it just isn’t structurally possible. Make another wish”
The guys thinks again and then he says, “Could you make Mitt Romney do well in his debate with President Obama?”
Then genie looks at him dumbfounded and finally says, “Do you want that bridge two lane or four?”
7I hope God is not too busy deciding high school football games to decide who’s gonna win the debates.
Maybe they want the scab NFL officials to make the call?
And by the way, Romney sank to 24% on InTrade today. It’s a train wreck in progress!
8The Mormon church already baptises the deceased, and they believe that does something. Hopefully this isn’t a new project in conjunction with the Republican Party. Like re-animating still registered Republicans in swing states.
9The way Mitt’s campaign has been going lately I doubt that even God’s intervention would help him much with his debating skills.
10By the way, the only reason the Mormon Church claims to be neutral is so they can keep their tax breaks.
11“Mitt Romney plans to turn himself into a one-man truth squad during the first presidential debate next week, casting President Barack Obama as someone who can’t be trusted to stick to the facts or keep his promises. …”
See, if there were a god who cared about lying, whoever said that would be a lightning-blasted grease spot now.
12OK I fasted for Yom Kippur – can i donate that to Barak Obama cause I believe in:
13Keep your magic wand out me woo haa
You need to help people who can’t help themselves (like my parents)
Students need a helping hand (yes I had financial aid and paid it off)
Cause you are poor doesn’t mean you have a magic safety net
the emergency room is for friggin’ emerency’s
did I mention my woo haa -stay the hell out of it ( George Clooney please ask about exceptions)
Thank you so much Sam from Kyle and Sharon (and all the rest of you, too). I can’t tell you how much happier I am after a visit to the salon.
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