The rightwing is never, ever slow to pick up on natural disasters.

Pardon me, I didn’t say that right.  There is no such thing as “natural” disasters.  There are only “Pissed-Off God” Disasters.

Check out Michele Bachman’s comments in Florida –

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’  Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

Okay, I dunno about you, but I am not prepared to let Michele Bachmann interpret for the Big Cowboy in the Sky.  I think her cell connection to the Pearly Gates is breaking up.  I’m pretty sure that God didn’t tell her to marry a gay guy.  I think he said, “That Hayes guy,” referring to Cletus Hayes, an almost famous tinted-sand-in-a-bottle artist in Saginaw.

So when Michele says the earthquake and the hurricane means that God is trying to get the attention of “politicians” to rein in spending in the United States of America, how do we know that it wasn’t God reacting to the draconian cuts they’ve already made?

Me?  Hell, I can’t even read tea leaves or Tarot cards so how am I supposed to know what God means by brutally killing 21 people just to get Bernie Sanders’ attention?  How do we know that God wasn’t trying to get Michele Bachmann to shut the hell up?  Or was simply reacting to Rick Perry entering the race?

I do not want to tell the Head Honcho how to do his business, but these Republicans are kinda slow.  I mean, I can truly see President Michele Bachmann running out of ink in her pen and stumbling on the carpet edge in the same day and interpreting that as a message from God to invade Canada.  Or Saginaw.  You never know.

So, I am making a request of God.  Hire a sky writer and make sure he knows English.