And Let the Sucking Up Begin!
Glenn Hegar is my State Senator.
For seven years in a row, the staff and customers of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. have named him The Goofy is What Goofy Looks Like Champion of the Texas Senate. Bless, his heart, most of the time he looks like he spent the night in the dishwasher. Hell, mud fences crumble when he walks by.
Glenn has up and decided that he wants to run for Comptroller of the Great State of Texas. The incumbent is retiring. Winning the GOP primary will be a crap shoot because every third string Republican in Texas wants a damn government job. Have you ever noticed how they hate government but want government’s signature on a check every month?
Anyway, Ole Glenn is one of those third string Republicans who wants to be Comptroller.
So, Glenn gets to thinking, What does Texas really need? What can I do to help Texas? A better educational system since we’re last in the nation? No, not that. Money to build roads since we’re having to replace paved roads with gravel ones? Nope. Health insurance for our citizens since we have the highest percentage in uninsured in America? Heck, no.
What Texas really, really needs is a tax-free holiday for gun purchases!
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Yep, since Texas has a tax free holiday for school supplies, it only makes sense to have a tax free holiday for guns and crap. I mean what the fool tarnation could be better than guns, guns, no taxes, and guns!
And let’s not call it “Shoot up a school yard without the bother of pesky taxes,” let’s call it …. prepare yourself …
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… a family tradition.
So, guess who is shooting for the NRA endorsement?
Now, I have several questions about this deal. My family likes to fish. Will fishing equipment be included because fishing is kinda like hunting? And if fishing is included, how about a bass boat? And if it includes a bass boat would it include one of those super cool 200 foot yachts? And how about a deer blind? And how about clothes? Does anything cammo count? Including one of those cammo bikinis? And how about banjos? Ain’t you seen Deliverance? You gotta have banjos.
Junior Janochek, Jr. wants to know if beer is tax free that day because you cannot go hunting without a case of beer. It’s the law. Just ask Dick Cheney.
Thelma’s family tradition is pool over at at Hobblin’ Henke’s Family Entertainment and Dance Hall. She wants to know when you’re gonna get tax free pool day. And a better haircut. Thelma also wants to know that.
And what if hunting is not my family tradition, but maybe reading books is? Can we have tax free book day? Yeah, right. I knew that was a shot in the dark.
Thanks to Nora for the heads up.
I’m surprised Mr. Hegar does not consider firearm purchases to be covered under the tax-free holiday for school supplies…
1Will backpacks that can be used to carry a gun to school be covered under the tax-free gun or school supplies day?
Hegar doesn’t really need a gun to kill animals; just flash that smile at them and they’ll drop dead of fright.
2What does the Comptroller actually do, if anything? I’m assuming it’s a sinecure of some kind.
3If you’re talking about hunting and traditions going back generations, is it really fair to leave out the gatherers? I mean, shouldn’t it rightly and inclusively be the Hunters and Gatherers Tax Holiday? Something for everyone.
4That poor little kid in the picture looks like he doesn’t want anything to do with the dead animal his dad seems to be shoving in personal space. And his dad seems to be enjoying it a bit too much.
My favorite hobby is slapping stupid Congresscritters upside the head whenever they say or do something stupid. But I’m willing to PAY a tax for that privilege.
5How old is that child, and hands up everyone who thinks that he should be handed a loaded lethal weapon.
As far as I know, taxes on hunting and fishing equipment are put toward wildlife conservation programs, which need every penny they can get because the GOP loves to slash them.
Lorraine, I’d pay a tax for that too. Just today I asked my husband if he doesn’t sometimes just want to slap “Justice” Scalia. I sure do, and Scalia’s high on a long list.
Come to think of it, if I slapped these people EVERY time they said or did something stupid, I’d be very tired and get nothing else done.
6OH, that smile(!!!) would go a bit beyond fright where animals are concerned; it looks to me like it a stupifying zombie result. Just imagine a forest full of Bambi zombies — and he wants a tax free holiday on hunting guns. Now you know. He’s too cheap to jack-light.
7I second the motion. I want a Read a Book Tax Free Day; I could get a big tax cut almost every day. And don’t he know the faucet in the picture is dribbling? Ain’t he heard of a water shortage in Texas?
8OK, somebody tell me. What the heck is he holding in that photo?
9My comment on Mr. Hegar’s facebook page:
10Why not tax-free fishing supplies weekend? Tax-free yarn and knitting needles weekend? Stop pandering to the NRA. Your hobby doesn’t need special government action. Stop trying to use your position to get special perks for YOUR favorite activity.
So that’s one of his kids? Cross your fingers and hope that Glenn’s ugly gene was recessive.
11He has now removed negative comments (including mine) and removed the ability to comment…..
12I’m really surprised that Glenn Hegar hasn’t figured out the best and easiest way to accomplish his goal.
Declare guns to be a religion and every day is tax free.
13What IS that thing he’s holding. No, not the one in the green shirt which appears to be a relatively normal human child — at least until it grows up with that Nimrod (oh mighty hunter) who is holding him. The other thing which appears to be comprised of the talon from a Chimera, a stick of wood, and the fur collar of a rabbit skin coat all clumped together. There may be bits of pigeon feather there too — must be something that a cat dragged in.
14Rick – Hah hah hah. I love the Hunters and Gatherers tax.
Add me to the list of those mystified by what he’s holding in his right hand.
15Looks like he killed two white wing doves and a woodpecker. Only peckerwoods display shots of dead woodpeckers.
16Sigh. Oklahoma has one up on this. Certain occupations and organizations in our state don’t pay sales tax on their purchases. Charitable organizations who are specifically exempted from paying sales taxes on their purchases include 4-H clubs, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts and the NRA. Libraries are not exempted.
17Looks like ol’ Glenn is holding a handful of dead doves up against his kid. Poor child will have nightmares or be in therapy for years. My poor old dog and I hate dove season. Here in Austin County we’re surrounded by nonstop gunfire as soon as dawn breaks. Frantic doves and other birds flock to our sanctuary. I’m not against hunting. I just think people should eat what they kill and not kill for fun. Judging by the amount of gunfire they are shooting everything they see. There ain’t that many doves.
18“Have you ever noticed how they hate government but want government’s signature on a check every month?”
Yes I have. But I guess it’s another example of IOKIYAR.
19TVland has been running a Andy Griffith Show marathon, why is that relevant… Well lets just say Rep Hegar bears a striking resemblance to Gomer Pyle.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Don_Knotts_Jim_Nabors_Andy_Griffith_Show_1964.JPG
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