And, Kids, That’s Why We Say He’s Dumber Than a Sack of Hammers
Louie Gohmert.
Okay, I just say those two words as a warning to remove any sharp objects in your vicinity and deadly credit cards.
It’s hammers, y’all.
Appearing on the Dennis Miller Show, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) told guest host Larry O’Connor that he “refuse[s] to play the game of ‘assault weapon.’ That’s any weapon,” said the Texas congressman. “It’s a hammer. It’s the machetes.”
That’s just the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Dennis Miller has a show.
I’m shocked, shocked I tell you.
Oh yeah, back to Louie.
I refuse to play the game of “assault weapon.” That’s any weapon. It’s a hammer. It’s the machetes. In Rwanda that killed 800,000 people, an article that came out this week, the massive number that are killed with hammers.
Yeah, it’s them hammers 10 feet away with a 30-hit clip that’ll get ya.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
Louie better keep a sharp eye out, lest those Rwanda hammers stray off course!
1To be honest, nothing Louis says shocks me anymore, he’s just a loon and crazy stuff is just expected.
2However I am shocked that Dennis Miller has a show! Someone bankrolling that for a tax write off?
I believe we should outlaw all weapons designed to kill more than 5 people per minute. Now let the Republicans argue that 5 people per minute is is too low, we should only outlaw weapons designed to kill 20 or more people per minute.
Let them name any number they’re willing to support, but remember we are talking about deaths per minute, not flash suppressors or clip size.
How many deaths per minute does the NRA believe is an appropriate cut-off point?
3He is an ass.
Can I just say this or will Mama agree with me or be offended?
He is stupid, too.
4Thanks, Ralph Wiggam: that really is the nub of it.
5Maybe Louie could prove his idea by offering to bring a hammer to a gun fight. Or a machete to a gun fight. Didn’t he ever see Raiders of the Lost Ark? When the guy pulled a sword on Indiana Jones, Indy didn’t look for another sword, he grabbed his pistol and shot the guy. Guns kill. They kill from a distance. When’s the last time you heard of a “hammer fight” breaking out at a construction site?
6Seriously? Dennis Miller has a show? What kind of show? He’s not funny, he has NO talent. Lemme guess — it’s on Faux Nooz, right?
7Gomert insults hammers. Hammers are useful tools. Louie is…well, just a tool.
And Dennis Miller used to be funny. But that was a very long time ago.
8That quote has all of the eloquence of W and the logic of the Venus of Wasilla.
9The only hope Louie has is to have a lobotomy. He truly has no idea that all us normal people will make the leap to “dumber than a box of hammers”? First thing I thought.
10OK, let me psychoanalyze. Louie puts out the cloud of smoke that he does best cuz that is really all he’s got. He is in way over his pointy little head and he’s scared to death that other people will realize this. Now this is the guy whose academic records I would really like to see. I’m guessing a D+ high school average, just enough to get him a diploma by state law.
And there are people out there with doctorates who can’t get a job flipping burgers cuz they are adjudged as being “too smart”. Ain’t no such thing, brothers and sisters. Just ain’t.
11I don’t know, maggie. There have been several recent elections where the Democratic candidate was called “too smart.” I resolved that if that kept up I was going to move to a country that wants smart people as heads of state. Maybe the reign of Baby Bush got people thinking that intelligence has its advantages….
12Louie is merely taking Rick Santorum’s advice that smart people will never support Republicans by..well, being dumber than a box of rocks.
13Apparently, pumping up the numbers on “non-gun” deaths is a republican talking point. I’ve gotten into a couple of discussions with people who were insisting that people with baseball bats kill more people every year than people with guns in the US.
14Yes, 800,000+ people were killed in Uganda in about 6 weeks, mostly with machetes. Imagine the number if the Tutsis (or was it Hutus?) all had Bushmasters and multi-shot cartridges. Like, imagine if that fool in Newtown had a machete instead of a Bushmaster.
I have known for a very long time that there were truly ignorant Congresscritters voting on stuff that actually affected all of us, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still weep at guys (and gals) like Louie.
15The thing about hammers and machetes is it takes more than one blow to kill a person. Even a little person. And it is an up close and personal kill with blood and gurgling and a struggle, and other people might out-wrestle you and stop you, especially if you are a one-man-band. Guns are a cheap easy and long distance way to kill lotsa people in a little time, and even then some can’t take it. That guy in Oregon at the shopping mall couldn’t go thru with it. Couldnt stand the hurt he was inflicting on other humans. You have to be INHUMAN to get to that point, or dehumanize your target (see also Nazi Germany) en route to justifying your action.
16Don’t let Louis hear the Beatles “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”.
17Dumb, most certainly, but dumbest? I mean, where Louie is concerned we have an embarrassment of riches to choose from.
For example, Louie voted for former Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) instead of John Boehner (R-Ohio) to be Speaker of the House. Allen West is one of the few people on the planet who is stupider than Louie.
18I’m sure on reflection, Lynnn, you would never have written “stupider than Louie”. Maybe as dumb as Louie or comparatively stupid but never stupider than. Surely that’s impossible. I mean that’s another dimension.
19Okay, I will allow one exception for “stupider than Louie”. Actually for an entire group of people – those Nimrods who keep electing him.
20So, Louie (I imagine myself saying), you really think there’d have been fewer people killed in Rwanda if they’d had Bushmasters instead of machetes?
And let’s say you see a guy coming at you with hammer…just a plain old hammer, like he goes postal in a hardware store. Think that’s more dangerous than the guy shooting at you with a Bushmaster? REALLY, Louie?
Because we can, you know, set up a test situation for you. There’s you, in the aisle of a big-box store….and there’s a guy 20 yards away with a hammer….think you can yell for help and get away before he gets you? Wow, look, you made it out the front door, not stopping to help the woman Hammer was dragging along by the hair.
So now we try the other alternative. There’s you, in the aisle of the big-box store…and there’s a guy 20 yards away with a fully automatic firearm and a 30 round clip. On your mark, get set….BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM…..oops. Sorry, Louie. Can we have your dying words? What killed you, Louie, a hammer or a firearm?
21Sounds like East Texas is in need of a little “Hammer Time” it’s own self!
22I wonder why he left banana cream pie off his list? It is possible to assault someone with a banana cream pie. (Or maybe even chocolate cream, though if chocolate is involved it might be courting.)
23Fresh fruit is pretty dangerous too:
24http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piWCBOsJr-w