And If Anybody Knows Common Sense, It’s Ted Nugent
I gotta break some news to you. Steve Stockman has turned up missing. He’s shown up gone. It seems he’s been missing since January 9th, except for a brief siting in Egypt. Yeah, the real Egypt.
Seriously. Nobody knows where he is, least of all his staff. We were going to check the Appalachian Trail but then remembered it Steve Stockman, the man obviously doesn’t do s-e-x.
I’d say it was the rapture and the only one taken was Steve, but in Steve’s case it’d be more likely to be an alien abduction.
So, to distract attention from this, Steve’s good buddy, Ted Nugent, and up and decided that Steve should be awarded “GOP Medal of Common Sense” from Speaker John Boehner.
Oh. Dear. God. He wrote a column about it. Well, it’s not exactly a column, it’s more like a word salad.
I wanna be honest with you. Stockman is missing but there ain’t nobody in Texas looking for him real hard. We’ll just put his face on a couple of milk cartons and that’ll be it.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
I’d go with word haggis instead of word salad.
1As soon as I heard old Steve was missing, I came here for answers.
OK, JJ, what did you do with him? Is he restocking the supply room at the Beauty Shop? Taking scarecrow lessons to prepare for Spring? Learning English as a first language? Hiding from Bubba?
I’m sure you’ll find out & report back to us.
I can’t wait.
2The comments on the “column” are priceless. I thought ole Ted was gonna be dead and/or gone by now. Sigh, another lying repub.
very cold Hippie in the Hollar
3He’s with Dick Cheney, hiding in some “undisclosed location”. Maybe they’ll go hunting together afterwards.
4Well that’s one way, and a particularly nasty way, to spoil milk!
5Couldn’t read it all (instant heartburn material) but had this thought: who better than a missing person to head the GOP, since it’s been missing its head (the upper one, anyway) for the past two decades?
It’s a no-brainer for those with no brains.
6Stockman will show up in a week with a story about how Holder and Obama kidnapped him. You heard it here first!
7Rehab???? Psych ward???? The Bachmann clinic?
8Has anybody checked in Toronto??
9I see your “Rehab” and “Psych ward”. Thanks Fenway Fran.
I raise y’all “Witness Protection Program” and “alien abduction”.
Btw, if you’ve ever cleaned the pipe so as to replace the garbage disposal, you got a real world example of what “word salad” or “word haggis” looks like.
10Well it COULD be a case of rapture — as long as you’re willing to concede that while He CAN do anything, it would be a real PIA to have to deal with all of those righteous righteous righteous people all at once and that staggering the rapture over a few decades or maybe even centuries wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Going back a ways other notable figures who have disappeared include Judge Crater and Jimmy Hoffa which puts ole Stevie in good company.
11How many of us, if we went missing since January 9th, would still have jobs?
12Buh … buh … buh-bye!!
13Rick, since a GOP congressstoppage’s job seems to be to sit there and yell NO a lot, or vote for idiotic stuff that I could hardly make up on a bad day, his absence is no loss and maybe it took this long for anyone to notice.
14He may have skipped the country …
Stockman’s problems go beyond visibility. He has reported having only about $32,000 in cash on-hand and $163,000 in debts, while Cornyn’s campaign fund is nearly $7 million.
Hmmmmm!!!
15It just hit me (so to speak)… He’s near the back of one of those long lines in Colorado.
16Wait a minute.
Stockman is missing.
And people CARE?!?!??
17Eww! Eww! You made me click on WND! It’ going to take a bottle of lysol to clean my keyboard and an hour of Grateful Dead to clean my brain. Don’t link to them sumbitches. here’s one from right wing watch that covers Ted’s rant. http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/nugent-put-steve-stockman-charge-gop
18They probably ought to start checking the crack houses before he burns one down and kills folks.
19He’s in one of those super cool hot tubs scattered outside his “campaign office” and he’s got him some Colorado weed, like micr says. If we’re lucky, his dealer will keep him supplied and throw in some chips. Might never come out.
20No one is looking for him? Not even the bunco squad?
21Holy hoobab! Does this not just say “Homeland” to you?
22From the left coast,
23Reading about. Crazy politicians in Texas makes me feel better about SOME of the representation we have from CA!
Stay calm; he could just be getting ready for a yard sale at campaign headquarters to get rid of excess moldy hot tubs. He could use the money.
24Missing on how many cylinders?
25Steve was in THE Egypt? The one where that big ol police building just got blown to bits? He still grumpy ’bout that campaign headquarters of his being condemned and out to lower the bar for official building decor?
26Sour milk cartons.
27Has anybody checked under the bridges?
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