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Texas G9vernor Rick Perry has decided that we should allow states to “opt out” of social security because it’s a “ponzi scheme” and has something to do with tube socks, but we still don’t understand that part.

Perry says seceding from Social Security is just one of many ways the system could get fixed — he said that raising the retirement age or privatizing parts of the system are changes he could support.

“Yeah,” says Juanita, “and the minimum wage is a crutch and child labor laws are making wimps out of all our kids.  Sweat shops are simply low cost saunas.  The 40 hour work week makes people fat and lazy and paid vacations just make people go fishing and there’s entirely too many people fishing as it is.  Clean air means you have to trust air you can’t even see, and food inspection is just silly because if enough people die from contaminated food then people will just quit eating which would solve the obesity problem right there.”

“Shoot, forget making Rick President.  Let’s just make him king!  He’s got more good ideas than your average raccoon.”