And, According To Jesus, The Feeling Is Quite Mutual
Republican Representative Steve King thinks he’s going to heaven. Isn’t that cute? But, hey you over there, you probably won’t.
U.S. Rep. Steve King, R-Kiron, suggests gays won’t make it to heaven.
What’s more, in an interview, King intimated that the divorced or cohabitators could be thwarted in the pursuit of eternal salvation as the Christian faith teaches it.
“I would say that what was a sin 2,000 years ago is a sin today, and we need to stick to that principle,” King said in an interview with The Jefferson Herald.
So all you crab eating shellfish fools – get thou to Satan with your damn tarter sauce.
King’s getting that whole dividing the sheep and the goats things out of the way so Jesus won’t be so busy when he comes back.
I think this is from the Church of Steve.
Y’all, I fit a whole mess of the hell-bound categories.
Thanks to Beth for the heads up.
Mark Twain said it best: “Heaven for climate, Hell for society.”
I’d go there just for the “immodest and rebellious women” (which I’m guessing this doofus translates as “Get up and get your own damn beer”), Bible-skeptics, atheists, evolutionists, and pro-choicers. Sounds like a good group to me, for a lunch or a party.
“If it was a sin 2000 years ago, it’s a sin today.” Does that mean that slavery is still okay, because it *wasn’t* a sin 2000 years ago? Jesus never condemned it… but then he never condemned gays either, Steve. And did you know that “the divorced” includes Ron and Nancy?
This has probably been posted here before, but Steve *really* needs to see it… and to put down that crab puff:
1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSXJzybEeJM
Apparently, heaven is going to be a very lonely and boring place.
But, as I also fit into several of the categories, it seems that I’ll never find out myself. But, if this guy’s going, I’m good with being in the other place!
2If someone were to ask me, “who would make a sign like that, and put it out in public?”
My best guess would be a very bitter person indeed, one who casts judgement on others like a merciless devil.
3That’s Steve, steeple chasing without a horse or a helmet.
4I think we can all be grateful that wearing White after Labor Day is not on the list.
5However, I think I fit in a few other categories.
If someone has a sign draped over themselves, is that considered “wearing” it? Because if it is, the idiot in the picture is in for a big surprise when he gets to his eternal reward, because I see, cloth, leather, metal … oh, he’s in for a big surprise!
6Whoever the sign wearer is, he is one lonely guy!
7He left out “ugly-tie-wearing-sign-carrying-masquerading-as-Judgment-Day-presider-whited-sepulchres.”
8Sounds like we will have a great time in Hell since we won’t have to put up with those godly people in Heaven!
9That looks like my bucket list.
10–You’re going to hell.
11–Who’s in Hell?
— People like you.
— Who’s in Heaven?
— People like me.
— You need to work on your threats.
What is a “mary-worshipping catholics”, why are they bad, who do they look like?
Haters.
But, on the bright side, the spelling was impeccable. Hallelujah!
12At least 30 on that list for me.
13This ought to rile up the Bible-Thumpers!
http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/1371/3542/original.jpg
14The teabagger running for “Doc” Hasting’s congressional seat in eastern Washington State has said he believes that Democrats can’t call themselves Christians. Wanna know what’s really scary? In this bastion of red lunacy, he just might win. Luckily, he played football in the NFL 30+ years ago, so I guess he’ll make a great congressidiot.
15Where is The Rapture when you really need it? It would be great if all these religious freaks were Raptured away so the rest of us could settle down and Get things Done.
16I love you guys! Oops! Guess that makes me hell bound…thanks for the memory, Rhea…one of my favorite parts of a great series. And thanks Fred, the new Dino-Jesus is too funny for intelligent folks everywhere.
17I am frightened for my country. When the sheep get scared –Ebola–people with a different skin color—Benghazi–damn liburals need to be shot–the only red site I check in on is absolutely foaming at the mouth about 2nd amendment rights and how we need a strong leader like Ted Cruz–it’s worse than nuts…it’s feeling dangerous…I was crying the other day because I don’t like feeling hatred…and that’s the name for the feelings that the scared, blind, self righteous types are starting to evoke in me…so thank you all for hanging on to humor and clarity..
I thought God makes that decision. I would be afraid to make the decision for Her.
18Check the list and can absolutely state that I do not now nor have I every had any tattoos! Am I safe?
19Personally I’m going with the Billy Joel formulation- rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun. Who’d want to spend eternity in a place with Steve King. I’m still convinced that King is part of a cabal determined to prove once and for all that the word Iowa is really an acronym for Idiots Out Wandering Around. Then you’ve got Ernst the GOP candidate for the senate
20If Steve King went to Heaven, wouldn’t that make it Hell for everyone listed on that placard?
So if they’re all going to Hell, won’t they thus be sent to King’s Heaven?
But if they’re all sent there then it won’t be Heaven for King anymore. So he will have been sent to Hell after all.
21The Porn Star name of Rep. Steve King is Javier Slapalot. Just, you know, FYI.
22W. C. Peterson #16–
23I always think of those Rapturefish as worriedly swimming around in the smelly bait tanks at the baitshop.
You walk up and order a dozen of ‘them’ (xtian mullet or shrimp) and ‘God’ opens the lid, dips the net down and scoops ’em up…into the baitwell onboard and it’s off to do some serious fishin’… ‘here lil red, here lil spec’…or my favorite- ‘here lil tarpon’.
Where do I get those handy suspenders with the hate-board clips built in? Genius!!!
24Ralph got the best laugh out of me … bucket list, indeed! That’s a pretty big bucket, Ralph!!
25It’s a shame when someone thinks they are so pure and all, that they can stand around with a sandwich board balanced on their sloping shoulders and stand in judgment of everyone who might take notice of them … I would hope that someone would walk up to this self-righteous bigot and punch them right in the ole snot locker!
Do you ever wonder if any preachers ever read JJ’s non-blog! If they do, they stay hidden and silent because they can’t get their eyeballs to stop twirling around like a whirlygig in a windstorm!!
I think he’s got his dates wrong. The guy who was around 2000 years ago preached love and tolerance and forgiveness–and that he had come to take away the “old” law.
The stuff Steve has in mind is much, much older–and presumably replaced by What’s-His-Face 2000 years ago. But Steve apparently dropped out of bible class before they got that far.
26Religion: if you’re pointing fingers at other people, you’re doing it wrong.
27The Gospel according to Blood Seat and Tears:
“I can swear there ain’t no heaven but I pray there ain’t no hell”
Nothing irritates me more than a writer’s refusal to separate the plural from the possessive, to wit:
Gurus, more than one Guru
Guru’s, something that belongs to a Guru
For me, it turns the haters’ rant into a written joke.
On that subject, once I gave a hate piece to my English teacher mother-in-law asking her proofread. She gave it back to me marked in red pencil. And a teacher to the end, she gave it a failing grade as well. Presumably didn’t vote for the candidate either, since communication is a fairly substantial part of their job.
28One of the numerous xtians cults said that going to hell is to continue existence without gawd.
29I have been doing very well without their psychotic imaginary friend for over 60yrs now where is their hell a threat?
Poor baby.
30Isn’t the act of judging people’s sin , a sin? Being self-righteous is a sin.
31I must admit, my first reaction upon reading that Rep Stockman “didn’t expect to encounter any gays in heaven” was, well, that’s probably the most realistic expectation lil’ Stevie has ever had, as the LGBT crowd in heaven is not likely to see him there!
32Soooooooooooooo, can anyone explain to me how is it that hatemongers are going to heaven? Are they going because they have more power than Jesus to make it happen even when hate is a sin? I guess hatemongers know better than Jesus…
33[After reading the sign] But obviously not people with poor grammar skills who use an apostrophe s instead of just the s to denote a plural.
And as an aside, since Christians partake of wine during the Eucharist, wouldn’t this sign exclude all Christians, as well as Sweet Jesus himself, under “alcohol drinkers”?
34#34Susan F, or my favorite saying, “An apostrophe is not saying, ‘Oh, boy! Here comes an S.'”
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