Alfredo Had A Very Boring Weekend, Y’all.

April 29, 2019 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ya know when business is slow over at the Dairy Queen when Alfredo spends all his time on the internet machine minding other people’s business.

Little does he know what when I’m desperate for news, I put a small sign out front that says, “Outta pickles. Closed for the remainder of the day.”  I’m not saying I did that this time, but I do know how to spell pickle.

So, we have news today.

First, Paul Manafort is a traveling man.  In less than a week, he has moved to a new prison that has a far superior commissary list for all his comfort needs.  He’s now at FCI Loretto.  Alfredo suspects Manafort will end up at Cumberland as soon as there’s an opening.  Maybe he’ll send you a postcard!

And then …

Ted Cruz, and I know this is going to shock you, has been goofing off with his campaign contributions.  The FCC has 21 pages of questions about his contributions.  I don’t know if that’s a record but it ought to be.

Oh yeah, and then there’s other questions about why some contributions weren’t reported as required right before the election. It makes it look like he’s hiding those contributions until after the election. I’m not saying that’s what Ted did. I’m just saying … oh hell, that’s exactly what he did.

That’s a lot of damn questions.  And this seems like a chronic problem with Ted.

Federal campaign regulators have three times in the last year sent notices to the Cruz campaign – more than any Senator running for re-election this year – for taking tens of thousands of dollars more than legally allowed from dozens of donors. And in another case, a Cruz donor had to file a Federal Election Commission complaint to get the campaign to stop automatically deducting monthly donations from her bank account.

And remember that time he had a scam going that turned your one-time contribution into a monthly one?  Oh, that was cute.

So, Ted decides he might better answer those questions being as how congressional Democrats have an itchy investigation finger right now.  So he does. Holy cow, that’s a whole mess of refunds, Teddy.

Ya gotta hand the boy this – it’s a real cute way to make it look like you’re bringing in more money than you are.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Alfredo Had A Very Boring Weekend, Y’all.”


  1. I’d like to see him in a facility with a fence and double razor wire. If it’s good enough for the Mexican border, it’s good enough for him.

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  2. The Surly Professor says:

    Alright, now we don’t just owe Alfredo a Blizzard from the DQ, but one with the Oreo cookie crumbs, M&Ms, *and* broken up bits of Snickers bars. Unless he’s diabetic, in which case a bunch of cucumbers and cantalopes fresh from the Valley will do.

    Wanna bet that if Warren or Sanders ends up with a single donation over the limit, it will be touted loudly and constantly in the media, “mainstream” as well as RWNJ?

    I’m tied up with final exams right now, but will enjoy digging into the list of folks who had oopsie-daisy-accidentally-contributed-illegal-amounts moments for Ted. Somehow I suspect a lot of them have homes that feature prominently on the McMansion Hell website.

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  3. Jane & PKM says:

    There’s an old court tradition that should be introduced to national politics: reversible error. IQ4.5 and Teddie Crooze are two of the more infamous errors of recorded electoral history. The snocilbupeR are forever bleating about the “good old days.” Remember ‘cheaters never win’? Except that’s the only way Republicons win elections these days. Eliminate the fraud perpetuated on our elections by the Citizens United decision. Continue to erase gerrymandering and other means of voter suppression. BTW Eric Holder is working on that with President Obama. How are they doing?

    Neither the resignation of Teddie Crooze or the impeachment of Dotard4.5 will occur with Old Scratch McConnell guarding the hen coop. Reverse the error, Kentucky. It’s past time for Old Scratch to sing “My Old Kentucky Home, Good-Night!” You can’t recall his sorry hide and Congress is not likely to exert expulsion, but you can vote him out.

    Vote 2020. It’s the nearest thing to reversible error that we currently possess.

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  4. Jane & PKM,

    And get rid of the Electoral College. Let the voter actually choose the elected candidate.

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  5. I’m sure those sternly worded questions are going to stop that old crapola right pronto.

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  6. Does anyone else here remember the scandal after Watergate in which all the convicted felons were housed in cottages with wooden doors and screen doors for use when the weather was pleasant? The grounds had flower beds which the convicts could wander through. They were on an **ahem** “honor system” not to leave the grounds.

    The public howled but, so far as I recall, nothing was done to move them to — oh, you know — prisons rather than a communal day camp where they could plot their next moves.

    Is that the sort of “prison” Cumberland is? After reading through their commissary items, it sure looks that way.

    I’m betting you’re right, JJ — his current residence is just a pit stop on the way to a screen-door cottage because heaven knows, he deserves flower gardens. Am I right?

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  7. @ Jane and PKM:
    Yeah, about that gerrymandering.

    I was pissed as hell when, in 2016, the Florida supreme court finally got around to telling the snacilbupeR to take a do-over because 4 districts in the state had been illegally drawn. But they still got to benefit from their crimes for over 5 years.

    And the legislature dragged its feet for 7 months till the court finally offered to redraw the districts for it. THEN they got busy.

    And now it comes out that, in 2019, Michigan is giving the Republicans another chance to draw their own districts — less than 2 years before the next lot get drawn.

    Hey, why should they stop their illegal gerrymandering when they get to keep those districts for 6 – 9 years?

    Maybe we can’t stop the party from benefiting from their crimes till the court gets off the dime, but it’s high time we put those who create illegal districts in jail till the next census is completed. Maybe then they’ll see the wisdom of drawing legal districts in the first place???

    Nah. That’s just asking too much, innit?

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  8. Without knowing, I would be willing to bet a blizzard there is no person of color on that list. And the women are all good little Rthug spouses doing what they are told.

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