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“Okay, so I’m a liberal,” Juanita starts this Monday morning as she pours her coffee and adjusts her glasses on top of her head.  She really doesn’t need glasses, but if you had a pair of pink rhinestone glasses, you’d wear them, too.

“But, it continues to bother me why liberals, who aren’t even ideologically supposed to have guns, keep shooting themselves in the foot.”

She speaks of this news article she’s put on the snack room door for reading —

GOP Consultant in Arizona Pulls Strings to Get Green Party on Texas Ballot

AUSTIN – The liberal Green Party’s uphill battle to get on the Texas ballot this fall has been fueled by a surprising benefactor: an out-of-state Republican consultant with a history of helping conservative causes and GOP candidates.

If the state validates the petitions the consultant arranged for the party – for free – a Green Party slate could drain support from Democrat Bill White in his bid to oust Republican Gov. Rick Perry.

What’s unknown is who paid for the previously undisclosed arrangement, pieced together by The Dallas Morning News. Green Party officials said they don’t know who funded the effort. The Perry campaign denied any involvement. And Arizona Republican operative Tim Mooney, who set up the petition drive, refused to say.

“Ya know, we liberals are the only people on the planet who would welcome a Trojan horse into our sunrooms and offer it an arugula and edamame sandwich,” she shakes her head, dislodging her glasses and setting them on her work station.

“Good Lord, please explain to me how liberals will benefit with 4 more years of Rick Perry?  No, no, better yet, explain to me how anybody benefits from 4 more years of Rick Perry, except for Rick Perry and big insurance.”

“Lookie here, Bill White is not near as liberal as I want him to be.  He’s not even in the liberal zip code.  I admit that.  However, he’s better than Rick Perry every minute of the day,” she gets agreement nods from everyone in the room, except Thelma, who thinks Rick Perry just might be Jesus in a cowboy hat, fringe vest, and prissy pants.

“I may be a liberal sell out, but I am not a tool of an Arizona Republican,” she stomps, “Arizona!  Can you believe that?”

“So the first time a liberal looks down their nose at me, I’m gonna suggest that from now on, they need to stop shotting themselves in the foot with a gun and start hitting themsleves in the head with a hammer because they are tools, dammit.”

She means it.  She doesn’t take off her glasses unless she means it.