Absolutely Not

April 02, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all Mississippi.

A woman formerly involved with the mayor of Hernando allegedly sent a naked picture of the mayor to city aldermen.

Friday morning, Mayor Chip Johnson said a woman he was involved with sent a naked selfie of him to an unknown number of aldermen earlier this week.

You know how we tell kids not to take naked picture of themselves?  Kids, we tell kids that.  We suspect that grown ups would know better.

When asked if he was still involved with the woman, Johnson said “absolutely not.”

Well, that’s a shocker.

And then, apparently totally tone deaf, the mayor says …

“The people have asked me to do this job and I’m sitting at my desk right now.”

… with my pants off.

Way to go, Mississippi.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Absolutely Not”


  1. Rasty Bob says:

    So where AZ. and TX. are known for smart Pols.{ Paul Gosar R AZ. & Louie Gohmert R TX ] And KY . is known for fast horses and slow senators. Mississippi will be known for class, real class.

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  2. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    “Absolutely Not” … add yet another euphemism to the lexicon of ‘Family Values’ snacilbupeR.

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  3. Why is it always somebody you really, really don’t want to see naked? It’s never Richard Gere….

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  4. I am in complete agreement with you Rhea, except I’d prefer Susan Sarandon.

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  5. AM I MESSED UP MY PEE PEE I found on the internet?

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  6. e platypus onion says:

    For Gere’s gear, check out American Gigolo. For Susan Sarandon’s nubile nakedness and essential supersizing-check out the Hunger where Ms Sarandon gets, shall we say, extremely up close and personal with Catherine DeNeuve (YUMMY) who is a vampire who corrals young girls for her longtime lover,David Bowie can nosh on and maintain his youthful figure. Not that I’ve ever watched either of these disgusting flicks (much)! Two or more thumbs up and down and up and down. 🙂

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  7. Once again, the Deep South reminds us that fundamentalist Evangelical Christianity, which is the state religion throughout the ex-Confederacy, constantly reminds us that it is a deeply moralizing and civilizing influence on society. That’s why Mississippi mayors and Alabama governors never do this sort of thing, do they?

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  8. Am Gigolo had Lauren Hutton as well. Pardon me. Brb.

    As I was saying Lauren Hutton.

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  9. Elizabeth Moon says:

    He has that straightforward, eyes wide open, mouth in fixed tight smile of the natural-born liar and philanderer.

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  10. Thank yewwww epo! Ms. Sarandon looked pretty good in Rocky Horror too, but I think she looks the best right now. Few things are sexier than women who are wise, kind and Gorgeous!

    Micr, Lauren Hutton is nice too.

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  11. maryelle says:

    Not only do I absolutely NOT want to see the rest of this guy naked, his face is nauseating as well. Please make it go away.

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  12. That woman should be charged with assault with a dreary weapon for sending that pic to those poor aldermen.

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  13. UmptyDump says:

    That dude has weird eyes – like he’s been hanging around city park public restrooms too much.

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  14. two crows says:

    Well, obviously his parents never expected him to grow up [or help him accomplish that feat.] How do I know? They named him ‘Chip,’ didn’t they?

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  15. e platypus onion says:

    Susan Sarandon is PRIMO good.

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  16. maryelle says:

    Susan Sarandon has lost this fan due to her refusal to vote for Hillary if she wins the nomination. She’d rather let Drumpf win.
    I no longer respect her, physical attributes aside.

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  17. From all that I can tell, the states that eventually composed the Confederacy were always out of shape on the subject of sex and Christianity. I am going off the diving board into the deep end of the pool here and say that this “psychology” was as much a part of the attack on Fort Sumter as any other reason.

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  18. Marcia in CO says:

    Maryelle … I have to agree with you!!

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  19. e platypus onion says:

    Ms Sarandon is entitled to her beliefs. She has ever been a staunch supporter of women’ issues and civil rights.

    Maryelle, you have those same rights and I hope the same passion for others.

    I will hate having to vote for HRC, but I will prolly fall on my tiny sword and do so.

    Please don’t publish pics of my ex. 🙂

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  20. Mary Beth says:

    Teh heh, his name is Johnson.

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  21. Elise Von Holten says:

    “The Hunger” is one of my all time favorites, as well as “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and “Bull Durham” for viewing Ms Sarandon…enuf said. She has a right to her views, as does everyone. I will vote my convection, which is anything Blue.
    Naked guys don’t do much for me…loving, gentle, intelligent, fully developed human males–now you are talking!

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  22. Crazy Quilter says:

    One of the other online newspapers ( i don’t remember which one) had the naked picture with a black box covering the appropriate area.

    There is not enough brain bleach in the world to get that image out of my head. Skinny, hairless ick with a supposedly surprised face. YUCK

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  23. Mah Fellow Murkuhn says:

    Those are some truly crazy eyes in that photo. Try covering most of the face, so you see just the eyes. That is truly scary.

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  24. xavierbreath says:

    epo: Prolly?? what the heck is a prolly?

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