.

“Honey,” Juanita starts in her voice of caution tone, “when you’re on trial for doing illegal campaign activities, it don’t take a triple digit IQ to know that you probably shouldn’t brag that your efforts while doing that illegal stuff had great results – even five years later.”

“I know that Tom DeLay left 40 IQ points in a whiskey bottle and all his ethics in a hot tub near the Capitol Club, but boy howdy! you’d think he’d learned that bagging got him in this mess in the first place.”

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, whose corruption trial began this week in Austin, on Wednesday took a little credit for the Republicans’ takeover of the House Tuesday night.

“Well, I hope I played a little part into it. A lot of the guys that are there now are from Texas came from our redistricting and we gained three more seats in Texas and that’s pretty amazing,” he said. “So what every little bit I had to play, I am very proud of.”

“Yes, Tom kneecapped Texas Democrats with illegal campaign contributions and he’s plenty proud that they’re still limpin’ from it.  He’s trying to argue that what he did then is legal now.  And it’s legal now because what he did  illegally got his friends elected and they made it legal,” she explains.

“But he’s bought himself one of the best writ twits in Texas so there’s a pretty good chance he’ll walk.  In the end, the worst punishment he got was the embarrassment of Dancing with the Stars.  That’s pretty damn bad, though.  He was awful and had to resign from the show because his feet hurt,” she grins.

“But, a girl can’t help but dreams, and having Tom DeLay as a convicted felon unable to vote would be sweet, sweet poetic justice.”