A New Retirement Plan
Carly Fiorina has decided to spend her heavily tarnished golden years traveling around the country running for office.
Former Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina on Monday told a local Virginia radio show that she’s considering running for the U.S. Senate seat in Virginia in 2018.
Yeah, she thinks she’s going to run against Tim Kaine.
Rumor has it that Barbara Boxer is laughing her butt off.
If this doesn’t work out for Caryl, maybe she could start going to states alphabetically. You know, go to Alabama and learn to eat cornbread. Next to Alaska and learn to field dress a moose. Then to Arizona and run against McCain. Then to Arkansas to learn … well, nothing. Skip California – been there, done that. Smoke some weed in Colorado. Hey, you get the idea.
If she really, really, really had anything to offer I would tell her to go for it. As it is, I would just tell her to go.
1Oh, now! Be nice. She’s got a new hobby in retirement — scrapbooking. And, well, you gotta have something to put IN those scrapbooks, right?
2This Virginian says, “Bring it, Carly!” We could use some entertainment around here.
3JAKvirginia,
Carly Failorina scrapbooking? Perfect!
I know of at least two major corporations* that were left with a pretty much ‘scrapped’ stock price, financial condition, market share, and tens of thousands of ‘scrapped’ employees (HP paid her >$50M to just ‘please go away’).
DemonSheep Lady will need binders of scrapbooks to hold all the memories of a textbook prime “Peter Principle” biz and political ‘career’.
Gawddamn, old Repukes just never decently fade away, do they?
4.
* I worked under Madame Carly, waay down the chain, outlasted her, and then had yet another chance at a bronze parachute. Couldn’t resist anymore, grabbed that parachute and ran as fast as my big feet could carry me, never looking back (as Cheny/Boosh were just getting rolling on cratering the good ol’ US of A).
FIA, WASF…
Well, if she wants to spend her golden years throwing her money away on campaigning and raising the living standards of political consultants, I’d say “have at it, Carly”. Then when she’s broke she can live on Social Security. After all, SS is s-o-o-o-o much money that we all go traveling, etc.
Good luck with that.
5nacilbupeR carpetbagger
6She should just go away and watch phony videos.
7I’m all for it as long as she promises to keep up the stellar quality of her campaign ads:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKWlOxhSIKk
Though the sheep motif is certainly appropriate for the current Repub party. For one thing, they’re white. Like all the people in her ads.
8Some cause pleasure wherever they go, others whenever they go. — Oscar Wilde
9Hey! Field dressing a moose in Alaska is no small challenge!
For one thing, with their big antlers you just cannot fit a fashionable polo shirt onto a moose. I tried, and it did not go well. Best I could do was a nice Hawaiian shirt, tasteful floral print, not one of those touristy ones with surfboards and palm trees. The moose was totally incompetent at buttoning the shirt, though. I had to modify the shirt with Velcro closures.
Then I thought, well, what kind of pants should we choose? Because you simply cannot get the moose to try on several pairs. Too long a story to tell here, but in the end (hah!) some baggy Aussie surfing shorts was the best I could manage.
Trust me on this: it is not easy to field dress a moose!
10Now that’s funny, slipstream.
11One can only hope Ms. Fiorina goes gently into that goodnight, but something tells me she won’t.
Slipstream, that was brilliant! Now why didn’t Caribou Barbie know this? Turns out the claim that she could field dress a moose was a floating falsehood. First of all, she would have had to off it with her super duper rifle, which as it turns out, she knew naught of and had to keep peppering others with questions. An hey, field dressing anything is work, so that lets her out!
12What? She thinks Virginia would be excited to have her?! Eeuuuwwwww!
Now if she wants to go to a state where she could win something she ought to visit the Dakotas or Wyoming, probably her best bets. She’d have to learn how to drive a tractor, operate an oil rig and rope calves from horseback. Oh, and pull a calf from a pregnant cow.
Dive in Carly! Prepare to get slimy! Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!
13So, she wants to join Scott Brown of Massa-Hampshire as a loser in two states? Bring it on. The 30,000 employees whose careers you ruined will love to see her fail. Again.
14Thanks for a much needed chuckle, Slipstream. As a Virginian, I think Carly carpetbagger should go annoy someone else. Like Putin. She can run against him.
15