.

Juanita is just a little bit glad that Tom DeLay hasn’t gone to jail yet.  If he had, she wouldn’t have seen him on Dancing with the Stars wearing Spankx, unsuccessfully trying to hustle a minor league baseball franchise in Sugar Land, or be the featured speaker at the Pearland Exchange Club.

Tom DeLay still trying to find a free lunch

“It’s a looong way down from big cigars at Jack Abramoff’s restaurant and being the federal government,” Juanita says.  “And I have to admit that I have enjoyed watching Tom take the ride.”

“I think he’s doing a supermarket opening next week and mooching a free 18 holes over at Happy Randy’s Miniature Golf Emporium and Taco on a Stick,” Thelma reports.

“Yeah, I heard that Randy offered Tom a job to stand at the windmill in a little Dutch Boy costume for kiddie birthday parties,” Verdelia said.

If ya heard it at Juanita’s, it’s gotta be true.