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Juanita says I can let you in on a little secret.  Now don’t be spreading this all around.

Juanita has a little doohickey that lets her know what search terms people use who accidentally end up on this website.  Sometimes they enter in “Juanita’s Beauty Shop” in Google to find their way here.  Juanita’s little doohickey makes her a list of what terms are used and some of them are pretty darn funny.

Now let me say here and now that Juanita has no way of knowing who you are.  She can come close to knowing where you are, like what city, but she cannot see back through the computer to see you in your pajamas at the computer screen.  Which she counts as a blessing because, Lord, child, you are a mess.

So, a funny happened today.

Here’s the search term that came from a computer somewhere in Sugar Land.

So, Juanita got to wondering what kinds of results you’d get if you entered “where to find republican yard signs in fort bend county.”  She was curious about how far down the list did they have to go to get to her.

Well, howdy, she’s #2. (Hit the little picture to get the big one.)

But here’s the part that makes life worth living:  Someone who wants to know where she can find Republican yard signs in Fort Bend County gets my buddy Hal’s website first and Hal ain’t had nothing nice to say about Republicans since Elvis died.  They get me second, which ain’t gonna please them at all because I make fun of the locals, then they get a Christian Science Monitor article about how Texas Democrats are on the rise.

Fourth, they get an old website of mine which ain’t gonna be a GOP crowd pleaser.  Then they get a lawsuit where Republican Sheriff Candidate Chief Deputy Craig Brady sued the county because he loves activist judges and trial lawyers.  Then they get Burnt Orange Report. Next is a local blog about the super nasty GOP DA race, and then my old website again, and – oh you’re gonna love this – the #10 place they get sent?  Democratic Party Steve Brown’s campaign website.

The GOP strategy is pretty straight forward. It is viscerally negative to any Democratic idea or initiative. It starts and ends with a general conclusion and is void of any analysis. If any rationale is given (which is rare) it is usually another general conclusion which obstructs any debate. The strategy is premised on the GOP’s ability to manipulate public opinion rather than to educate or persuade through thoughtful debate. Talking points are calculated to evoke an emotional reaction and not to illuminate the issue. Poll questions are slanted to reveal the answer desired by the party taking the poll. Opponents are vilified and shouted down.

They have to go to #14 waaaay down the list to even get a GOP website.  Then it’s just Charlie Howard, a state rep, asking for money.

What’s not to love about this?

So, since they couldn’t find a GOP yard sign, I made them one.

Enjoy, Google Yard Sign Looker,  Honey.  And come back now, ya hear?